


Moral-Less

by Digdeepenough



Category: My Chemical Romance, The Used
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Borderline incest, Dom/sub, Drug Abuse, Flashbacks, Heavy Drinking, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Crossdressing, Lots of whimpering, Love Triangles, M/M, Mental Instability, Multi, Prostitution, Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Content, Triggers, Violence, Weapons, shaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2017-12-12 20:08:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 63,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Digdeepenough/pseuds/Digdeepenough
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was tired... So fucking tired of his moral-less life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue—Absolute Shit

Gerard goes through his bag for the keys to his apartment and it takes him a minute or so, less or more... He would have found it quicker if the lights in the hall hadn't burnt out a month ago.

He's home late... Extremely late. four in the morning late... He had to deal with a last minute client who wanted to go for three hours straight. 

Fucking on a bathroom counter wasn't the most obscene thing he's ever done... If fucking on the bathroom counter high off your ass, wearing a fucking mini skirt and a tie around your throat while the John calls you a dirty, slutty bitch-Girl over and over again... Then yes... The second most obscene thing he's ever done... That year.

He's smacking obnoxiously on peppermint gum, trying to rid the bitter after taste of dirty semen from the back of his throat as he continued the search for his key chain.

"Well, fuckety-fuck sir fuck..." Gerard mutters to himself as he finally finds his key ring. He grasps onto the Storm Trooper and kisses it. "Hello there Timmy," yes, he gave his key chain a name.

He pushes the rusty, star designed key into the lock and rams his arm against the door to shove it open.

The door flies open and he's stumbling into his shot-to-shit home; he's holding onto the door knob and examining the chaos around him. His mouth is open agape as he gazes around at the mess with a woebegone look on his face.

"Shit..." Gerard groans and shuts his door closed behind him. "Not a-fucking-gain," he presses his back against the wall and slides down it; his cold, pale hands against his face.

This wasn't the first time his home was broken into and torn to absolute shit.


	2. Wrecked

Frank sat in the secluded corner of the small, dingy bar he always goes to after a tough day at work--which was every day for the past week. 

He sat there, on the stool, leaning over the bar as he fiddled with a tooth pick he'd used after he ate some hot wings. His mind was still spinning around his last task. He can still hear the man screaming in agony... So ear piercing. A grown man should never have to cry like that. Ever.

He laid his hands flat down on the bar looked up at the clock placed behind the beautiful, dark haired female bartender. She thinks he's looking at her and she winked, whilst drying off a washed pitcher with a rag. He winked back and leaned back against his seat; his arms pulled behind his head in a laid-back manner.

His eye contact is interrupted when someone touches his arm. He snapped his attention to whoever grabbed him. 

"Yo, man. Boss said you'd be here... How you holdin' up on your first week working for A7X?"

Frank stared over the long haired man and smirked, "Pretty good," he lied, downing his drink which had been sitting on the bar. "I like the shit we get to keep after we raid."

Bert howled in laughter and pulled the shorter man into a bear hug, "Dude, told you it wouldn't be so bad!" He pulled a seat next to Frank and ordered a drink. "So... D'you get to see the boy M pimps out?"

"No, not yet... I heard he's a 'pretty fucker', though." Frank quoted Jepha Howard on that.

"Yeah, but he got into some shit with one of M's dealers and now he's on a bad note with the crew. Some shit's gonna' go down... They say he's also stashing some of the money he owes M somewhere, ect. He's in some deep shit." Bert fished a pack of cigarettes from his grimy trousers.

"Ya don't say..." Frank rubbed his chin in thought. "That sucks, man. He's gonna' get what's coming to him."

"Word." Bert belched obnoxiously and scratched his head.

After a moment of silence Bert's cell phone goes off and he answered it quickly with a chaste, "Yo, M. What it do." He said, tossing his drink back.

Frank examined Bert as he had his conversation. "Yeah... I heard man, sorry. Never trust a whore... Yeah, I'm with Frank, he's right here... Yeah, sure we'll check it out for you... Okay bro, see you 'round... No problem. See ya." He ended the call and stood up from his seat. "We gotta go man... To his whores place."

"Fuck wait... He assigned us to do that shit?!" Frank fished his wallet from his pocket and pulled out a bill and set it on the table next to his drink. "But wait... Shouldn't A7X be doing that?" Frank pondered, following his friend out the pub.

"Can't question the order... If the whore's there we can't be recognised, you know what I mean? He knows Zacky, Syn, and Johnny... We can't risk that." Bert stepped around the corner of an alley way and lit a cigarette. "Want one?" He offered and Frank declined.

"Where does he live?" Frank brought the collar to his coat up and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. It was chilly outside... Just a few weeks away from winter.

"Just down the block." Bert informed him and Frank looked around.

"So what do we gotta do? I mean, we're not gonna' smoke 'im, are we?" Frank pondered and Bert shook his head. "Then what? Smack him around a little?"

"He isn't home. M says he's at a clients house... So we're just gonna' snoop around. See if there's anything suspicious." Bert started to walk down the street and Frank followed him. "We aren't exactly gonna' be throwing him a surprise party, y'know."

Frank shook his head and just continued to follow behind the taller man. "Just down this street corner..." He pointed and when they came through the complex Frank kind of touches his gun in his coat as he looked around.

It was crackhead central. He didn't want any surprise attacks and he sure as hell didn't want any dirty hookers trying him.

"Right here... This is it." Bert grabbed a key from his back pocket. "M slipped me this before I left the warehouse." he pressed the key into the door and pushed it open. "There we go..." The two men stepped inside the warm one bedroom apartment and shut the door behind themselves.

Frank gazed around, and fuck, it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be... Judging from the outside he was expecting a lot worse.

"Alright," Bert stepped into the living room and pulled the cushions on the leather couch apart. "lets get started. We're looking for a pound of cocaine and a couple grand."

Frank started in the bedroom and when he stepped inside he looked over to the nightstand on the bed and reached for the picture frame. The photo was of a little boy with mousy hair and glasses sitting on top of the hood of a 1979 Trans Am. 

He then wondered... Did the hooker have a kid?

He set it back down gently and adverted his eyes over to the neatly made bed.

"Nothing in the couch!" Bert hollered and entered the bedroom. "Check under the mattress."

Bert grabbed the sheets and threw them across the room and flipped the mattress up and look under the box spring. "Fuck... They usually keep it there."

Frank joined him and went through the night stand. Nothing but lube, condoms, a stack of Vogue magazines, fuzzy green handcuffs and a pink vibrator. He grabbed the shelf and tossed it onto the ground, spilling out the contents.

"Yo, the dildo, pass me the dildo!" Bert laughed.

Frank picked it up and tossed it over to his friend.

"See that teddy bear?" Bert reached for the biker bear and then dug through his pants for his switch blade.

Frank nodded and watched intently at what Bert was planning on doing. "Dude." Frank laughed, face palming.

Bert stabbed a hole where the bear's supposed to have an asshole and shoved the dildo inside it before turning the setting on low and set it down on the ground in center of the room. 

"He's gonna' love that!" Bert howled, clapping his hands together.

"That's wild... Frank walked over the mess and then went to the living room again where he decided that he was going to go through the entertainment center storage.

He got down on his knees and pulled open the cabinets. He sees a small little photo album and pulled it out. He thinks maybe the hooker hid the money in here. No one ever goes through a fucking photo album.

He flipped the book open and looked over the photos.

They were just a bunch of baby pictures, family pictures, birthday parties. The glasses kid shows up and so does another boy. 

He has ruffled black hair, a turned up nose, big rosy cheeks, and small teeth. They're cute kids and Frank's starting to think this hooker has an odd obsession with them.

He's done looking over the album and when he pulled it apart he found another photo stuck behind one. This time it's of a man who looks to be about in his late teen years; his hair's mid length and he's wearing sunglasses. He's sitting at a dining table with his head resting on some older guys shoulder. 

They look close and Frank thinks maybe the hooker's the one with the sunglasses on.

"That him?" Bert looked over Frank's shoulder and yanked the photo from his hands. "Damn... He _is_ hot." Bert started to unzip his jeans and whipped his cock out.

"Bert..." Frank stood up and shook his head. "So fucking crazy. No wonder why M put you up to this."

Bert stroked himself against the picture and when he came he shot all over the hooker's face and then tossed the piece of film paper on the ground.

"I gotta take a leak..." He started to go all over the pictures of the small kids which were scattered all over the floor.

An hour passes by and the house is shot to shit. The television's busted, the couch has gashes in it, the kitchen is torn apart with food every where and the bedroom looks like someone had their way with a hotel suite.

When they finish up Frank glanced around and when he leaves he has this feeling of guilt built up inside of him... Every single time he does a raid he feels fucking horrible. He's destroying the homes of people who are destroyed inside and that destroys him.

The worst part of it is... Even after all that they found nothing.


	3. Mercy

Gerard eventually got up from his spot on the floor and began to inspect all the damage and in his head he calculated how much it's going to cost to fix all of it.

He got down in front of his entertainment center and picked up a photo of him and his dad. 

"Ew, what the fuck..." he touched what he believes (knows) is cum and wiped his hands across the carpet in disgust. "Who the fuck does this shit?" He whined and got up and started for his bedroom.

"No," he gasped and grabbed his teddy bear off the ground. "Oh c'mon!" he pulled the vibrator out of his stuffed animal and turned it off. 

"Give me a fucking break..." he took a seat on his mattress, which was flat on the ground, and brought his knees up to his chin.

In the silence his cell started to go off and when he pulled it out of his jeans he flipped it open and answered with a meek, "Hello..."

"Like the way my men decorated your crib?" M asked huskily.

"... M? Why? What the fuck did I do?!" He jumped to his feet and ran his fingers through his hair frantically.

"Don't play fucking stupid with me, you dirty whore!" He shouted and Gerard cringed. 

"Listen fucking carefully... By the end of next week I want my money, my drugs, and I fucking want you to get your shit together. Three clients a day ain't gonna' cut it, doll-face. Either step up your game or your getting smoked. Got that?" M growled.

"B-but... Baby, please... Wait. What happened? I mean... I did give you the money. I gave you all of it. I just... I made up for last month. Remember?" Gerard stammered, walking out into his living room.

"That wasn't all of it and you fuckin' know it, G. I'm not your fucking last pimp! I'm not Brian, okay?! DON'T FUCK WITH ME!"

Gerard whimpered and let out a deep breath. "I... Okay. I'll get you what I owe. Please, just... Don't. Don't kill me, M. I love you. I love you so much."

M sighed, "I'll be stopping by in a few hours," and with that he hung up.

Gerard flipped his phone shut and stuffed it back into his pants. He looked around his home and went into the kitchen to grab a broom and a trash bag. He had some serious cleaning to tend to.

His life hadn't always been this shitty... In fact, it all went down hill on his Eighteenth birthday when he came out to his parents. They sent him away to live with his Grandmother in New York.

Sad to say, she passed after his twenty first birthday and Gerard was right back in New Jersey where he'd gotten himself into some trouble over drugs.

He met a man named Brian Schecter who later on introduced Gerard, to none other then, M-Shadows--the leader of A7X.

_"Ay, Gerard... Meet M, M this is Gerard." he said, rolling his joint on the coffee table as M strolled inside the shaggy apartment._

_Gerard had just got done snorting a line off the glass of the coffee table and M stepped inside and shut the door behind him._

_"Hey," he said, going through his back pocket and pulled out a ziplog bag filled with cocaine. "Got the junk, man." he told Brian, tossing it to him._

_"Thanks..." Brian smirked; he opened the bad and dug two fingers in after tapping it against his tongue. He rubbed the white powder on his teeth and nodded his head in approval. "Alright... I guess I'll leave you two alone then."_

_Gerard looked baffled for a second and opened his mouth to say something but Brian had already gotten up and left the room._

_M stood there and began to unfasten his jeans._

_"Wait... What?" Gerard stood up quickly and started to go where Brian headed off to._

_"We made a deal... If I got him his cocaine I got to fuck you." M filled him in and Gerard opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water._

_"No, wait... He wouldn't do that. He. He told me he loved me."_

_M looked hesitant for a moment and then took a seat on the couch. "Well, y'know... I already gave him the coke. I need to get something in return."_

_Gerard looked distraught and before he said he could say another word he took a seat next to M. "I... Okay. I don't normally do this, but... At least you're cute."_

_M snorted and shrugged his shoulders. "Thanks, you're pretty damn cute yourself." he leaned in and pulled Gerard into a kiss; he's touching the smaller mans cheek and caressing him there._

_Gerard hummed into it and let his hand scurry up to the bulge of M's jeans._

_"S'good... Just, here..." M moved Gerard's hand aside and started to lower his jeans down his hips._

_Gerard sat obediently and tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. He licked his lips hungrily and as soon as M got his jeans off his hands were back to touching._

_"Seems like Brian doesn't give you enough attention," laughed M dryly, and let his head loll back as Gerard's hands went through his briefs._

_Gerard pulled his hand back and moved them into his lap._

_M opened his eyes, "Hey, what's up? Why'd you stop?"_

_"I'm gonna' be honest with you... Brian isn't the most,um, faithful boyfriend and he promised me and I promised myself this sleeping with guys for drugs and money is gonna' end, but I just see myself down this road. I love him so much it hurts some times to even think about leaving him... Hurts even more considering to stay. He doesn't even let me leave the apartment." Gerard's hand twitched in his lap._

_"... Why are you telling me this?" M asked, not quite sure where this man was going with this._

_"I want to leave Brian. Can... Can I, can I stay with you? I'll... I'll do anything you want. I'll do what I'm doing here, jut as long as I'm able to live on my own. I have a little brother... I want him on the weekends, but I can't-- don't want to bring him here... Not where there's drugs, sex and gang related bullshit." Gerard said, not breaking eye contact with the tattooed man._

_"... You're willing to be my whore for your little brother? Sounds kind of contradicting. You want him away from those bad things and yet you basically define all that shit." he didn't understand the dark haired man._

_"I... I'm. At least I'll be able to hide it. I can't hide it here."_

_M looked Gerard over and rubbed his chin in deep thought. "Alright, alright... You got yourself a deal doll-face. I'll let Brian know. Get your shit."_

They fucked at M's house. They shared a few drinks, talked about themselves and M was drunk in thirty minutes flat. 

He drank a ton of whiskey and had three lines of high grade coke. Gerard joined him and they managed to end up on M's bed, making out aggressively until M's shoving Gerard onto his back and yanking his jeans off.

They're naked in a blink of an eye and M's got Gerard in his lap, sitting on his dick, bareback, and Gerard's bending backwards, slightly, gripping onto the wooden polls of the headboard.

The bed creaked and rocked and Gerard's moans were echoing off the bedroom walls. 

M's hands were glued to Gerard's pale, pudgy hips and every time Gerard lowered himself down on his cock he was there to thrust his hips up brutally, creating a fast, heavy, mind blowing pace that made Gerard's toes curl and his jaw hang slack.

Gerard's favorite part of it all was the way M's muscles tensed and his shoulder's bulked up... All the veins in his body pulsed and Gerard just stared... Stared in awe because M was fucking perfect. He looked as if he were sculpted by God's and Gerard was so turned on that he was able to actually make M look that hungry, possessed... Possessive.

It was probably the cocaine and booze talking but M said, at least four-to-five times, that he loved Gerard... Breathy, uneven pants of, "I love you so fucking much. I fucking love you. I love fucking you."

And maybe he only meant to say the last bit, but to Gerard... It meant something. That's why he had said it back.

_"I love you too... M'fuck," he groaned in a hushed whisper, bringing his arms down on M's shoulders; his hair was every where and his mouth was moist from saliva and sweat._

_"Here... On your back, baby... Lay on your back... Yeah, just like that. Unghf." M slipped out of Gerard with ease and gently pressed himself against Gerard's raw hole and rubbed the tip of his cock against it, admiring the way the tight, rose colored orifice swallowed his pulsing head._

_Gerard brought his legs around M's waist and dug the heel of his foot into the larger mans back, urging him to keep going._

_M complied and began his once brutal pace._

_It was amazing. Every minute it of it..._

_When M came he removed himself from Gerard's chest and straightened his back out so he wasn't hunched over the smaller man._

_Gerard was dizzy, his mind was racing... The cocaine was fucking strong. The strongest he's ever done and he felt so alive... Like everything was always in slow motion but now he knows the way it's all supposed to feel. Fucking awesome._

_Gerard allowed M to roll him onto his front like a rag doll and pull his cheeks apart. Gerard laid there while M tongued his sore hole._

_He pressed back and fisted the sheets and moaned obnoxiously loud until he came against the bed._

_M kept going though, pulled away once to say: "I love eating ass", and then just went right back to doing what he loved._

_Gerard loved getting his ass eaten, so they were a match made in heaven._

After living with M for a few months Gerard had saved up enough money from hooking to get his own place. He gotten money from M as well to get everything he needed and he was grateful, he really was.

Now, he was framed of betraying the man he's loved for over three years and is having his house turned up side down for a reason he still hasn't discovered. 

If it was money they weren't going to find any... Gerard always gave M his money... He was late only twice, but it was because Mikey needed school supplies and... He didn't need to explain himself.

He brought a cancer stick to his chapped lips and sat out in his little back porch, on his Spiderman folding chair, waiting for M to come down... He didn't know that to expect so he didn't try to predict anything that was most likely not going to happen.

He'd been outside smoking, with his fuzzy red slipper claded feet resting on the table he uses to play beer-pong when his friends drink at his place, waiting... Waiting... Waiting... 

Until finally, the knock at his front door caused him to smash his cigarette on his ash tray and run into his home, not even bothering to shut the porch door.

He fixed his hair in the mirror next to the door, which surprisingly wasn't broken, and took a deep breath before answering.

There was M-Shadows, standing there in all his macho-man glory, rocking a wife beater, tattered jeans and bandanna on his head with a hat over it to top it all off.

He had his two main men standing next to him, like body guards... Or more like 'moral support'. M didn't need protection. Gerard did.

"Boys..." Gerard nodded his head at Zacky Vengeance and Synyster Gates. "M, baby..." Gerard went to kiss the taller man but was shot down when M moved him aside to step in.

Gerard stood there awkwardly, holding the front door open as the men waltzed into his destroyed home.

"Damn McCracken and Iero really did a number on your joint, doll-face." M cackled, taking a seat on the torn couch.

Gerard eventually shut his door closed with a lock and went to the kitchen where he went through his fridge to fetch beers, which were thankfully and surprisingly unharmed, and brought them over to the men.

M snatched it when Gerard offered it to him and twist it open with his hands.

Gerard nibbled on his bottom lip as M cleared his throat and looked down to the front of his baggy jeans.

Fuck... Now?

Gerard fell to his knees in front of M, obediently unbuttoned his pants and whipped out his cock out and immediately began to suck, bobbing his head up and down expertly.

M sucked on his beer and used his other hand to press onto the back of Gerard's head, grasping onto strands of greasy, black hair.

"M'fuck... Suck that dick, you dirty bitch." M thrusts his hips up momentarily which caused his dick to go far back into Gerard's throat, causing him to gag... Not so bad though, he's built up quite a tolerance.

Zacky and Synyster stood near by, drinking their beers and watched what was happening. Gerard hated it when the guys watched. It's awkward, even for him and he's done some fucked up shit in all his years of hooking.

"There... There. There. There," gasped M, yanking Gerard off his dick by the strands of his hair.

Gerard knew what was coming.

M stroked himself against Gerard's face until he came in thick spurts, hitting Gerard's nose, lips, and eye.

He always marked his territory. Always.

M chugged down his beer as Gerard stuck him back into his mouth to clean him off.

"... I'm gonna' miss that if I actually do find out you're a conniving son of a bitch." M announced as Gerard removed him from his mouth.

The smaller man just stared up at his 'boyfriend' with a look of dismay on his cum shined face.

"Don't fuckin' look at me like that Gee... You know I wouldn't have accused you of doing shady shit behind my back unless there was a reasonable source. I love you. I really do, but if I find out you're doing this to me... Sad to say, you're done," he stood up and tucked himself in his jeans.

Gerard bowed his head and nodded quickly. "I haven't done anything M... You know I'd never... I would never," he choked back his tears. "I don't know who told you this... But they're lying."

M got down in front of the prostitute and grabbed his face tightly, squeezing his cheeks. "And when I see the proof you'll be my number one Whore again, got that? In the mean time... You better do as I say and watch your pretty little ass." 

M loosened his grip on Gerard's face and stood back up. He pulled a handkerchief from his pant's pocket and tossed it at Gerard. "Clean yourself off."

Gerard felt the tears sting his eyes and he nodded his head quickly. "Yes... Yes M." he started to wipe his face clean.

M pulled a box of cigarettes from his back pocket and yanked a stick out and balanced it between his lips.

Synyster was there with his lighter, lighting M's cigarette without being told to.

"You guys can go ahead... I've got a few things to discuss with Gerard here."

The two men did as they were told and piled up out the apartment, shutting the door behind themselves as they stood guard on the other side.

"C'mere..." M puffed smoke out from his nostrils and watched as Gerard stood up on wobbly legs. "God... I hope they're all wrong, G... I just..." He grabbed at Gerard's face again and pressed a hard kiss against his lips.

"M... I'm telling you the truth. If you'd just believe me, baby... I love you." Gerard whispered as he leaned against M's muscular frame.

M nodded his head, he had an sympathetic look on his face. "I won't be able to bring myself to do it... You make me such a softy. I have to put up this front when the guys are around. I get carried away some times, but fuck. I gotta push myself to do it if that's what it comes up to." M took a seat on the arm of the tattered leather sofa.

Gerard joined M, on his lap, and wrapped his pale arms over M's thick shoulders. He sat there and sniffed M's scent and tried not to cry. 

"Y'know... Leto was confused, too. He keeps tabs on everyone... So maybe the person who told me is lying, but I trust them both. I don't know, man. This is the hardest part of running this fucking family Mafia without dad." M admitted and Gerard just nodded against him.

It's quiet again and M's hands found their way to Gerard's pudgy hips. "I gotta go soon..." he whispered and Gerard tightened his grip on his boyfriend.

"No..." Gerard murmured and M laughed inwardly. "Stay with me, baby," he cooed.

"I gotta, babe. I have something to be at in a few hours... Wanna' swing by the manor for a bit? My parent's would be happy to see you. Mom says she misses you around... Dad too." M said and Gerard nodded quickly.

"That would be nice."

"Alright, cool... Get a few things and we'll be off. I'll meet you in the limo."

M stood up when Gerard broke the embrace and left through the front door. When he was gone Gerard wiped his hands down his tear stained face and let out a shaky breath. He was a little terrified to be honest. 

M was always so bi-polar and Gerard never knew what to expect. 

One minute he'd be bashing Gerard's head in and in another minute he'd be kissing him and telling him: 'I have to be like that in front of the guys, G.'

In other words, if I show you mercy in front of my henchmen they'll walk all over me. 

We can't have that.

Gerard gathered a few of his belongings  
and made his way out the apartment building. He looked around for a split second before shutting and locking the door behind himself.


	4. Destroyer

Everyone's asleep (except the security guards) when they arrive at the A7X manor. M leaves right away and when Gerard hopped out the limo Zacky and Synyster walk beside him when they start to head on in.

This is when Gerard would start to panic... When he was alone with M's main men they did whatever the fuck they wanted to him... With M's blessing of course.

"Go upstairs, freshin' up and get in bed." Zacky whispered to him as he and Synyster started to make their way into the main living room.

The house was huge and Gerard still found himself intrigued every time he stepped inside. It had a nice Spanish feel to it.

"Okay," Gerard whispered back and made his way up the long staircase. 

M's room was all the way in the back. His brothers rooms were to the left down the hall and Gerard figures they're asleep. 

Jack would be happy to see him but Rick wouldn't... Rick didn't like him and was grossed out by the fact that he was M's whore. His room was the closes to M's.

He took his shower, quickly, and climbed into bed once he grabbed a pair of boxer shorts and a plain black t-shirt from M's dresser. they were big on him but he liked it. He was comfortable.

He curled up on his side and passed out. He passed out fast too. He'd spent all day yesterday with four top paying clients and they paid generously, only because of the shit they made him do and the amount of time they had him do it. He was glad he didn't have to work for three days since he made his cut. 

Two hours of sleep and Gerard's being woken up by M himself, climbing into bed and kissing his forehead. He smelled like straight whiskey and weed. "Babe, scootch." M groaned, shoving Gerard lightly.

Gerard blinked his eyes open and rolled further on the edge. "Sorry..." he grumbled and M pushed his hands in Gerard's pants. 

His eyes shot open and his heart rate picked up. "Wait," Gerard groaned and pushed the boxers down. He turned on his front for M and braced himself once he felt his boyfriend pressed his torso on his back.

He can hear the sound of a cap being opened and then the sound of lube squirting from its tube. 

Thank goodness, Gerard thought. He might enjoy sex this time.

M's fingers were rubbing against his hole and he bit down on his bottom lip as they slipped inside of him. He moaned out quietly and rose his ass up slightly so M could hit his spot. 

Just when he feels a spark M's pulling his fingers out and positioning the head of his dick inside. M's lets out a growl and shoved himself further inside as he planted his hand on Gerard's hip. "So tight, baby..." he praised and Gerard whined out into the silence.

M moved fast and went in deep each time and Gerard started chewing on his bottom lip to keep himself from being too vocal. He didn't want to hear it from Rick later in the day.

M on the other hand... He didn't give a fuck. He cursed, groaned, moaned and at one point shouted out 'fuck yeah'. His brothers didn't fuck with him. He knew that.

He pulled out after he came and dropped down on the bed and wrapped the blankets around them until he passed out. He snored loud and Gerard sat up slowly and went to the bathroom to clean himself off. He didn't come but that didn't matter, not to M at least.

After he was done with his shower he dried himself off and put his clothes back on. He wasn't going to be able to fall back to sleep again so he went off into the living room and took a seat on the couch. He can hear M's dad snoring down the hall. It was somewhat peaceful...

He was surfing through the channels when he hears footsteps coming from the staircase. He lowered the volume on the TV and tipped his head back to see who it was.

"Well look what the pimp dragged in!" It's Rick, he would be able to tell just from his harsh voice. 

The brother looked taller, much more muscular and his hair was greasy and slicked back. He had an widows peek and his eyes were emerald green. He was intimidating, even in teddy bear boxers.

"Um, Ricky, hi..." Gerard peeped, looking back to the TV. He bit down on his bottom lip and silently begged for the younger man to go away. Wishful thinking...

Rick approached him and dropped into the seat next to Gerard. "Whatcha doin' here? I thought M was mad at you...?" He instigated, reaching his hand out to move a tendril of Gerard's hair behind his ears.

Gerard didn't flinch. He knew what would happen if he did.

"He is..." He answered simply and the hair Ricky is touching is now in his fist and he tugged on it harshly. "Ow!" Gerard cried as his head was yanked sideways.

"Is that an attitude I detect?" Rick breathed against the pale mans cheeks. Gerard shook his head quickly. "Mmm... You smell pretty."

I just took a goddamn bath, Gerard thought as Ricky started to push him on the couch. 

He started to work himself out the peep of his boxers and when Gerard turned his head Ricky was there to grip his chin and snap it back in the center. 

"You know... I kind of missed you... I miss your cries and your tight asshole. I'm not gonna' lie... It's been pretty boring since you've been gone." Ricky started to pull Gerard's pajama bottoms down and when he noticed Gerard wasn't going to fight back he pulled back and spat into the palm of his hand.

"Don't come inside." was all Gerard said and Rick smiled at him with his elvish smirk.

"Don't worry..."

He pushed in with force and Gerard had to bring his wrist to his mouth to hold back a shrill. "W-wait... Stop..." Gerard's eyes started to sting with tears but Rick kept going. "Slo-slow down."

He didn't even know why he bothered to try. Rick kept going... He even went harder and faster.

Gerard couldn't help but let out ragged breaths and whimpers... He was in so much pain. Not even one of his clients would treat him like this.

"You dirty bitch... I. Missed. Fucking. You. Unngh..." Rick grunted out as his hips slammed into Gerard's ass. "Turn." he said and out of no where tugged himself of Gerard's body roughly. It was so uncalled for.

"Ah, fuck!" Gerard whined and Rick grabbed his arm and yanked him forward until their lips were pressed against each others.

"Remember... No teeth..." he murmured and Gerard nodded and obediently opened his mouth to Rick's eager tongue.

Rick's hands started to travel down Gerard's hips and then down to ass where he gripped both cheeks and spread them apart aggressively. 

"You fucking whore." Rick chuckled when he noticed Gerard's dick going hard. "You like that?"

Gerard sobbed out and Rick laughed. "You like my fingers in your ass?"

He panted when Rick pulled them out gently and replaced them with his dick inside.

The pace continued to be brutal and Gerard felt like he was going to pass out from the pain.

"N-not inside..." Gerard murmured as soon as he noticed Ricks thrust turn into erratic jabs. 

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck... Son of a bitch." Rick gasped and he came inside.

Gerard snapped and quickly pulled himself off of Ricky. "Not inside!" He shrieked and out of no where Rick's fist collided with his cheek and knocked him back off the couch.

He hit the floor and his hand flew to cover his face. When Rick started he was the type to keep going. 

"You stupid fuck..." His hands were in Gerard's hair and he yanked him up with a force that felt like Gerard's hair was about to be ripped out of his scalp. 

"Don't. You. Ever... Fucking do that shit again." His other hand was wrapped around Gerard's throat. 

"You disgusting piece of shit. Who the fuck do you think you are?" He started to squeeze harder and Gerard's hands fell from his face and started to claw at Rick's hand.

Rick let go and Gerard started to suck in as much air his lungs will let him.

"Look at you... You're a pathetic excuse for a man. You're just a whore. My brothers dirty little whore and for what? Security? Money?" Rick spoke close to Gerard's face and he just stared. A dark look is in his eyes as he watched Gerard splutter.

"I'm going... I'm going to call for M, Rick. I'm gonna' tell him about all the things you've done to m--" The blow came hard and Gerard started to bleed from his nose and mouth.

"Do it and you'll fucking regret the day you stepped foot in this fucking house." He stood on his feet and fixed his hair. 

"Tell M if you'd like. He'll never believe you, especially since you're on watch. You're a fucking liar in all our eyes... Who do you think told M you were scheming behind his back?"

Gerard sat there on the ground, blood on his face and his mouth open agape. "Y-you told M... That I'm a traitor?" He felt like screaming.

"Bingo... Now, tell him anything you want. Lets see who he'll believe. Some liar whore or his own flesh and blood." Rick walked off, leaving Gerard naked and alone on the living room floor.


	5. Humiliated

Gerard wakes up the next morning in M's room. The maid picking up around had woken him up. He flipped over on to his back and smiled at her. "Hello, Suzie." He yawned and she greeted him back. "Do you know where Mathew is?"

"Ah, he went to the courtyard with his men." She informed him and Gerard sat up and brushed his hair back off his face with the comb that was always on the nightstand.

"Thank you." He jumped off the bed and hurried out so she can continue to clean whatever was left.

He made his way through the house and spotted Senior Shadows himself, smoking a cigar and reading the paper.

Gerard paced over to him and greeted him.

"Ah, Gerard. What the fuck happened to your pretty face? Is M hitting you again?" He stood up quickly and touched the hooker's cheek. "Shit."

"Uh, no... A John... Um, one of my clients think it's fun to hit me." He lied and Mr. Shadows brows raise in disbelief.

"Let 'em know the next time he does that I'm sending Maxie down there to slay his ass. Okay?" He didn't really mean it as a question. It was more of a pass-on warning.

"Yes sir." Gerard nodded quickly. "Um, if you don't mind me asking... Can you call Maxie over? I need him to walk me to the courtyard."

"Of course! I understand why." He nodded, pulling his cell out.

He dials Maxie's number and he answers it after the first ring.

"Maxie, my good man! Gerard's here and he needs your services. Care to escort him to the courtyard? All the guys are here today and you know how excited they get when they see Gerard." Mr. Shadows laughed under his breath.

Gerard pursed his lips and moved them to the side of his face. He hated that the guys had a strange fascination with him. He didn't think he was that great looking.

"I can see why though. Looks just like a little girl. Like the daughter I never had."

Oh, Gerard thought. Well, that fucking explains it.

Maxie gets to the den and takes his fedora off quickly.

"Shadows. Gerard."

"Maxie. You know the job."

"Yes sir."

Maxie was built like a bull. All the A7X guys were scared shitless of him. Especially Synyster.

Maxie had beaten him to a pulp for taking Gerard to his personal bedroom without permission. Gerard had been handcuffed to Synyster's bed crying when it happened. 

Syntster was roughly fucking him into the small mattress when Maxie had stormed in and grabbed Synyster by his throat and slammed him straight in to the wall.

It wasn't pretty.

"So, Gerard. How ya been? You look like you lost some weight." Maxie walked behind him and looked around.

"Uh, I've been okay. I did lose weight, like, 8 pounds." 

"You eating right?"

"No. Not really..." Gerard craned his neck to look up at the bigger man.

"Oh..." Was all he said.

They made it to the courtyard and Maxie stood off to the side to keep a close eye on Gerard.

"So, we gotta make our presence more of a threat, like, downtown... I walk through and the drug dealers know who I am and stay away. You just gotta let them know you're in A7X and if they fuck with you, they fuck with me." M was seated in a hammock, drinking a beer, talking to at least 30 of his men. "New guys, you especially gotta rep the name. Or else someone's going to smoke you."

Some redhead guy raised his arm in the air.

"Kyle, what is it?" M asked.

"Um, about the business guy we spoke to last week. He said that he's not gonna' give us Lawrence's safe code until we bring the money that we took from his loft." Kyle said and M frowned.

"Smoke 'em." M sat up and tossed Kyle his pistol. "Syn, you're goin' with him tonight."

Gerard inched closer to the row of seated men and scratched his head.

"Any more news?"

A long haired, dirty Jesus looking man raised his arm. 

"Shoot." M said, chugging down the rest of his beer.

"So, if your hooker's a traitor then why is he here." He jabbed his thumb in Gerard's direction. "Isn't this shit supposed to be confidential?"

M let out a deep breath and looked to Maxie who inched closer; his eyes on Jesus man.

"Maxie, my man... Bert's semi-new. No choke holds." M stood up and grabbed Gerard's arm and yanked him in the center of the meeting.

Maxie stood back again and crossed his arms over his bulky chest.

"Those of you who don't know... This is Gerard. He's the A7X plaything... It's been brought to my attention that he's working close with another gang. I mean, it may not be true, but then again it can be." He brought his hand against the back of Gerard's neck aggressively.

He whimpered against M's grip and squeezed his eyes shut. He had a feeling he was about to be humiliated.

"But... How could he be a traitor?" He worked his hand in to Gerard's greasy, black hair and pushed him to his knees. "When he knows I'll do this to him."

A few men cringed when M kicked him in the ribs a few times.

Gerard screamed out in agony and Maxie flinched. He wasn't allowed to disobey one of the Shadows. No matter how much he wanted to.

"P-please, M. No..." Gerard begged as M yanked his bottoms off and tossed them to Zacky, who caught them and passed it to a new guy to hold.

"Stay. Fuckin'. Still!" He slammed his head to the ground and hoisted his ass up in the air.

Gerard whimpered and clawed at the ground. He turned his head in the opposite direction from the men. He didn't want to look at them.

"See that? He rotated Gerard's body so that his ass was in the gang members direction. Some stand to get a better look. "He's got monthly appointments at the salon. Wax, bleached, massaged and oiled..." M ran his thumb over Gerard's perineum then to his hole. "Who wants to fuck him? I swear his hole's like silk."

Gerard gasped loudly when M forced his thumb inside of him.

"Synyster, how 'bout you?" M grinned, working his thumb in and out of Gerard's hole.

"Nah, man. Not in front of Maxie." He chuckled and Maxie glared at him. "Would love to though... Not gonna' lie."

Frank shifted in his seat and M glared at him.

"Frank." He yanked his thumb out and Gerard cringed. "C'mere."

Frank's eyes went wide and he stood up quickly. He didn't want him to have to repeat himself. He heard what happened to guys who didn't listen the first time.

"You ever fuck a guy before, Frank?" M asked, slapping Gerard's ass roughly.

Frank nodded his head quickly and looked down at Gerard's ass. It was actually quite perfect and Frank felt bad for getting hard.

"Well, then... Whip your cock out and show Gerard here a good time. He deserves it." He pulled Gerard's cheeks apart and spat down against his hole. "He's good to go."

Frank looked back at everyone and saw a bit of jealousy in a few of their eyes.

"Um, M. Sir... I'm in a relationship. That would be chea--" He tried to lie. It was half true./p>

M cut him off by pulling his switchblade out against Gerard's ass.

"Wanna' see what a blade looks like going in and out of someone's asshole?"

Frank shook his head and undid his jeans quickly when Gerard screamed out in shock as the tip of the blade poked his hole. "N-no, sir."

He looked down at Gerard's head and frowned. His eyes were squeezed shut and his hands were yanked behind his back in M's hold.

"I bet you can't wait... Frank's gonna' show you a real good time." M said and Gerard squirmed when Frank pressed himself against his hole.

"Ah... Ah! No. No. No. No. Please-M- _plessepleaseplease_." Gerard babbled and M silenced him by yanking his head up off the ground.

"Someone wanna' shut him up? Maxie? You're his bodyguard. You do it." M snapped and Maxie marched over and looked down at Gerard with sorry eyes.

"M-Max... D-don't." Gerard cried and Maxie got down on his knees after undoing his zipper.

They had him on his hands and knees as they spit roast him in front of everyone. Frank panted loudly as he watched his dick go in and out of the hookers body. He felt so fucking bad, but this guy was tight! It felt like he stuffed his dick inside warm cake. A tight, warm cake.

Maxie finished before Frank and he goes inside of Gerard's mouth.

"There we go!" M chanted as he watched the cum slide down Gerard's mouth. 

Some of the guys are staring intently while others cringe and sit uncomfortably. Usually the new ones are the scared ones. They'll get used to it though.

"Woo! Go Frankie!" Bert hollered and Frank was snapped back to reality when he watched M slap Gerard across the face for spitting out Maxie's cum.

Frank pulled out quickly, which caused Gerard to lose balance and fall on his side.

"Why'd you stop?" M asked and Frank used the sleeve his shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

"I can't cum." He panted.

"What? Bitch ain't tight enough?" Synyster asked and everyone laughed.

"Uh..." Frank looked down at Gerard again who was shaking and curling up in fetal position. 

"Up." M growled, yanking Gerard up by his hair.

"Mm'ahhhh!" Gerard whined and M shoved him towards Maxie, who caught him.

"Put him in the F.R." M told Maxie and a few of the guys cheered in excitement. The guys that weren't new.

Gerard clutched onto his bodyguard as he was being dressed.

"I'll deal with him later."

Maxie helped Gerard limp away and Frank took his seat; his head bowed.

"So." M started, snapping his fingers. "Those of you who don't know... F.R means: Fuck Room. It's self explanatory. Newbies, you're going to be given the opportunity to do whatever you want to Gerard. That's a rare treat." M explained.

"I don't know... Isn't he a hooker? He might have STD's." New guy, Ben, asked.

M glared at him and said, "No. He gets tested." 

"Ok. I'm in." Ben laughed and Carl high-fived him.

"Good. Follow Synyster and Johnny and Zacky." M turned and waved his hand. "This meeting's over. Have fun boys." He pulled a cigarette from his back pocket and Johnny stood up, quickly, and lit it.

Frank remained in his seat and M sat down next to him.

"What's your problem, man. I know your family's in debt with mine, but that doesn't mean you have to act like a fucking victim. This is an opportunity to live large." M said and Frank sighed.

"Is Gerard your boyfriend?" Frank asked, scratching the side of his head.

"You could say that... I mean, he's my favourite whore. But when Ricky told me... That he had been sleeping with Dean... Fuckin', Dino, my dad's rival's son. I lost my cool. I could just picture that motherfucker putting his hands all over my property." M explained and Frank didn't want to know why he was being told this.

"Do you think it's true?"

M chuckled and tossed his finished cigarette as he shrugged his shoulders. "That's why I've got a favour to ask you..."

Here it goes, Frank thought.

"I need you to keep an eye on him... You and your family owe mine a shit ton so I need you to be his sitter. Escort him around and take him to his clients... You can fuck him whenever you want, too." M said and Frank cringed at that.

"O-ok... When does this start?"

"Today." M stood up and stretched. "You can take him home tonight, but I want you to go in and hang out. Snoop if you must. Always report back to me." He jabbed his chest with his thumb.

"Yes sir." Frank nodded and jumped up. 

"Good." M said. "Now, get to work."


	6. Family

By the time Gerard was carried out of the F.R it was dark out. Maxie brought him up to M's room for a bath and change of clothes. Frank caught a glimpse of the hooker's unconscious frame and he grimaced. He couldn't believe the condition the man was in.

He looked like complete shit. His hair was matted and his skin was pale. Extremely pale... His body was limp and his face... His face was—

Suddenly, Maxie was coming down stairs, with Gerard stumbling beside him. He had on a grey shirt under his trench coat and tight black jeans with combat boots. His hair was a bit wet (washed) so the curls at his ends curved in to his jaw.

Frank noticed Gerard's black eye and bruised forehead immediately. Earlier he couldn't. He knew the other guys were fucking animals, but he never actually thought they'd kick the shit out of him when they were fucking him... Well, that meant Gerard put up a fight.

Disgusting pigs, Frank thought; his eyes still glued on Gerard as he made it down the last step.

"Frank," Maxie started, "you'll be escorting Gerard home tonight. I'm sure M already told you."

"Yeah." Frank nodded quickly, moving his eyes to Maxie. He had to look up—drastically.

Gerard had let out a deep sigh and a cough, but didn't say a word. His actions were speaking on their own... He was terrified. He _knew_ Frank was just like the others.

"He has no clients tomorrow unless M calls and he's got no appointments either. A man by the name of Sidney Emmanuel Rodriguez may show up at Gerard's place for this." He held up the package in his hand that Frank just noticed he was holding. "In exchange Gerard's to do whatever Sidney tells him to do. Fuck, suck—whatever."

"Ah, OK... Shouldn't you give it to Gerard then?" Frank asked, scratching the back of his head.

Gerard coughed again and looked down at his boots.

"I thought M made it clear to you...?" Maxie pondered.

"Uhhh... Made what clear? I'm just babysitting him, right?"

"No, man. You're living with him." Maxie said in a harsh tone. "He's accused of being a traitor. We can't leave him alone. He might run away."

"What?! No fucking way, man! Why can't he stay here?" Frank looked back at Gerard. His head was still down.

"If he's a fucking traitor what do you think will happen if we keep him here any longer?" Maxie asked, tossing Frank the package.

"Fuck man. Fine. This better be fuckin' temp." Frank started walking in to the direction of the front door.

Gerard's footsteps echoed behind him.

"See ya, boys. Take care Gerard." Maxie called out and Frank stuck his free hand up, his back to him.

Frank and Gerard still haven't spoke to one another as they hopped in to Frank's SUV.

Gerard just slipped his seat belt on and let out a long sigh.

"Hungry?" Frank finally asked and Gerard glared at him with tired eyes.

"A... A little." He whispered, curling in to himself. 

"When was the last time you actually ate real food?" Frank looked him up and down.

A man standing 5'9 shouldn't look like he weighed below 120 pounds. 

"Since..." He trailed off. "Like, 3 months ago..." He whispered and Frank sighed.

"Alright, alright, I know where to go." Frank made a sharp left turn as soon as he exited M's manor gates.

The Iero manor wasn't as big as The Shadows', but it was close enough.

It's an hour drive and when they get there Frank parks and looks to Gerard. "Don't move." He said, hopping out. He felt bad for the fragile man, so he opened the passenger door for him. Gerard looked a bit shocked and confused, but stepped out of the car nonetheless. "Thanks..." He murmured and started behind the shorter man.

"Don't mention it." Frank said. "It's about 8pm, right? My mom makes these huge ass meals so we're just going to pig out. When she sees you she'll just fuckin' want to stuff your face."

Gerard coughed and wrapped his arms around himself, "Do I really look that pathetic?" He asked as they stepped the front door.

"No, I didn't mean it like that... You're just skinny... Compared to most men your size and age." Frank explained and Gerard rose a brow.

"In other words: pathetic." He stated and Frank looked back at him before shaking his head.

"Ma! It's me: Frankie! I've got company with me!" He walked in to the direction of the kitchen.

Gerard looked around the traditional Italian home as he followed behind Frank. It was much cozier than the Shadows Manor. Way more cozy, actually... He loved it.

"Frankie!" A woman's voice shrieked. "My baby—oh! And who's this beautiful young man? Your boyfriend?" She asked once Gerard stepped in to the kitchen. 

Frank laughed and shook his head, "This is Gerard. He's M's boyfriend."

She had to double-take as she looked Gerard up and down quickly. "M-Shadows' boyfriend?!"

"Yes, ma... What're you cookin'?" He asked, looking over her shoulder. Each burner was occupied with huge pots. It smelled like steak, pasta and lasagna.

Gerard's stomach growled and Franks mother looked back at him after she told Frank to get out of her way. "Someone's hungrrryyyyy." She said in a singsong vouce. "Frank. Take Gerard to the dinner table. Your Father's already there, reading the paper. Acquaint them"

"Ok... Gerard, c'mon." He grabbed the hooker's arm and showed him to the dining room.

Franks father was exactly where Frank's mother said he'd be. He was intently reading the paper and humming to himself.

"Dad, this is Gerard. M-Shadows' boyfr--"

Gerard's eyes widened when the man dropped the newspaper and looked straight at him. "Anthony-I!" Gerard growled, "You fucker!" He shoved Frank away and stepped over to the older man.

"You two know each other?" Frank asked, shocked. "What the fuck?" Anthony jumped out of his seat and set his newspaper down on the table. "How the fuck do you two know each other?" Frank continued to ask, looking his father dead in his eyes.

"This asshole had me on my knees for 3 hours, 3 fucking hours, and then he skipped out on my pay and I hadn't seen him since... 2 months." Gerard said, approaching Anthony. "I believe we agreed on 5 grand..." He stuck his hand out in front of the older man.

"Dad... Did you...?" Frank pointed and Anthony pulled his wallet out and slammed a wad of hundred dollar bills in Gerard's hand.

"Keep your fucking mouth shut..." Anthony said to Gerard under his breath. "That's my fucking son right behind you."

"You like me quiet, don't you? My mouth stuffed?" Gerard ran his hand down Anthony's jaw. "I can't believe you're one of Shadows' pawns... Looks like we have a lot in common."

Anthony swatted the hooker's hand away took his seat.

"Dad. Care to fucking explain a few things?" Frank asked, watching Gerard count his money.

"Frank... Not now." Anthony said, picking his newspaper back up and skimmed it like he still had interest in it. "... Later." He murmured nervously.

"Well," Gerard started, running his fingers through Anthony's grey-black hair, "your daddy here was one of my favourite clients, until one day he decided it'd be fun if he chained me to the wall for three hours while he fucked my mouth and not pay me afterwards."

"You cheated on mom?!" Frank hissed. "Dad, what the shit?!"

"Frank..." He said, shoving Gerard away from him. "It was stupid. I regretted it... That's why I stopped seeing him."

"Wow..." Frank said, looking between Gerard and his father. "Uh. I need to fucking—"

"Do not fucking tell your mother." Anthony said and right on time she's stepping in with a plate of food.

"Dinner's ready!" She chirped.

Gerard looked to Frank and shrugged his shoulder as he took his seat. "Smells amazing." He sniffed the air.

"Awe! Why thank you sweetie! Here you go." She set the plate in front of Gerard. "Guest first."

"Thank you." Gerard smiled as he picked up his fork and started to eat. Linda beamed and patted Gerard's back in a motherly gesture before she zoomed back into the kitchen.

Frank took a seat next to Gerard, but kept his eyes on his father. He couldn't fucking believe his dad had slept with Gerard... Fucking SLEPT with a hooker—a male hooker. Frank tried not to puke across the table.

Linda returned with two more plates and set them in front of Frank and his father. "Dig in boys. If you want seconds feel free. There's plenty to go around." She disappeared again, but soon came back with a small plate for herself.

"C'mon, ma. Get some more." Anthony said, "Your diet's over. Ya look good, woman."

"I know I know! I just don't have an appetite like I used to." She sat closely to Anthony and smiled at him.

"I know what you mean." Gerard piped up, glaring at Anthony. "I was on an all liquid diet once... You just get so use to it that solid food becomes impossible to digest."

Frank coughed and jumped up abruptly. Linda glared at her son and then to Anthony. 

"I gotta... I'll be right back." Frank tugged Gerard up out of his seat by his arm and yanked him out of the dining room. "What the fuck man?! That's my fuckin' mother in there! Show some fucking respect."

Gerard scoffed at him and pulled himself out if Frank's grip. "Why should I?! Your father fucked me for 7 months, 7 fucking months, and quite frankly I'm not letting him go that easy after the last shit he pulled." He hissed in a loud whisper. "Wanna stop me? You're gonna have to pull me by my god damn hair and throw me into a bedroom and beat me unconscious just like everyone else."

Frank stood there, mouth open agape, staring at Gerard. "Do you really want that? I'm not like that, man. I'm not here to kick the shit out of you. I'm here to make sure you're not sucking Dean Lupo Jr's dick behind all our backs."

Gerard pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. Much like the manner of a bratty child. "I'm not. I wouldn't. Dean isn't my type." he sneered and Frank grabbed a chunk of his hair.

"Don't make fucking jokes. That tells me you don't give a flying fuck about your life... Why don't you just go to M and tell him that you are sleeping with Dean? Huh? Or would you prefer me to do it? I'll tell him." Frank whispered harshly, yanking the pale man close to him. "Stop. Fucking. Around."

Gerard whimpered and gripped Franks hand which was still in his hair. "O-okay... Fuck." he said once Frank let go. "Sorry, gosh."

Frank scoffed in disgust, looking Gerard over one last time before turning to go back in to the dining room. "I don't take 'sorries'." he spat, pushing the doors open.

* * *

Gerard's quiet throughout dinner. Frank kept eyeing him, making sure he wasn't going to say anything stupid. Linda shot glances back and forth between her son and M's 'boyfriend'. She was confused as to why they were being so quiet, but she didn't mention it. It was really none of her business... She liked to stay away from the whole mafia ordeal. Even talking about it made her a little nervous... Since her husband and son were in business with that kind of thing. She worried too often, but she pretended not to. It's pretty hard to though. Her friend's son was killed only a few weeks ago and she can't help but think the same thing may happen to Frank sooner or later.

"Ma... Gerard and I are gonna' get going." Frank told his mother as she carried all the empty plates to the kitchen.

"So soon?" she asked, accepting her son's help when he took a few plates from her.

"Yeah... There's business we need to tend to." He told her truthfully. "Don't worry though. It's minor."

Linda nodded weakly and dropped the dishes in the sink. "Okay..." She whispered, pulling Frank in to a hug once he set the plates down too. "I love you, baby... Please call me as soon as you get done."

Gerard leaned against the kitchen doorway and tipped his head to the side as he watched the mother and soon embrace. They reminded him of Mikey... Which reminded him... He needed to call to see how he's doing. It's been a week.

"I will. Love you too." Frank said, breaking the hug.

The two men pile outside of the manor and once they're outside Gerard takes a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and shoves a cancer stick between his lip, balancing it as he uses the lighter, he pulled from his front pocket, to light it. "I know you're gonna' say no, but I'm gonna' ask any way..." Gerard murmured, his cigarette between his lips.

Frank pulled open the drivers seat to his car and hopped in. "What?" he asked, waiting for Gerard to hop in to the passenger side. "You're not gonna' ask to go on a coke-run, are you?"

Gerard shook his head. "No... It's about my brother. He's at my parents house... So I was wondering if we could stop by and visit him? I mean, they let him stay with me sometimes, but only if I'm not with any guys... Or if I'm sober. I never break the rules, ya know. I just really miss him an stuff..."

Frank listened to the hooker ask for permission to see his brother. He sounded like he was begging and Frank realized it was impossible to say no to that. "Uh, I don't see why not...? Give me directions to your parents house." He drove down the road once Gerard was buckled up.

"You gotta make a U-turn... then go straight up until we get on Church Ave... You're gonna' make a left and then keep going straight make the first right." he said. "Once we get in the neighborhood I'll tell you where to go." Gerard blew out his cigarette smoke in Frank's direction.

"Right. Got it."

Gerard smiled, leaning back in his seat. He felt happy now. He was going to see Mikey.

"So..." Frank coughed, rolling his window all the way down. "Has M ever met your brother?"

Gerard stiffened at that question. It was a little personal... For plenty of reasons. "Uh, yeah..." Gerard whispered, looking out the window. "He, uh... Yeah." he stopped himself from continuing that sentence.

"He what?" Frank asked, taking all the turns Gerard gave him.

"Mikey doesn't like him... M came over... One night I had Mikey over and he--" Gerard paused. "Make a left."

Frank took the left.

"And he what?" he urged the other man to finish the story.

"M, he didn't know Mikey was over... He was asleep in my room and I had answered the door. I was supposed to work that day. The client fucking snitched on me and M grabbed me by my throat, literally as soon as I got the door open, and he shoved me in my room. He was going to rape me... But then he saw Mikey, sleeping. I fucking fell on top of him and he woke up crying... M punched me in my face at first, before he noticed Mikey." Gerard sniffed, stopping to wipe the corner of his mouth. He had a small scratch there. "Right here... This is it." Gerard pointed to the two story house.

Frank observed it from the windshield. It was an upper middle class home... White picket fence and a well kept garden. "You don't have to finish the story." Frank said, turning off the car. "I mean... I get it."

Gerard tossed his finished cigarette and nodded. "Thanks." he whispered, getting out of the car.

Frank followed him to the front door. Gerard knocked loudly and waited.

It took a while for anyone to answer... He thought maybe no one was home. There was no car in the drive-way. But when the door opened Frank found himself staring at a blond middle aged mother who looked like she might be Gerard's mother. "Gerard." She frowned. "What did your dad say about coming here at this time? You know you're not allowed to be here unless he's here."

Gerard folded his lips together and blinked hard. "Mom." he cried, pulling her in to a hug.

Frank was taken aback. What the fuck? Why was he crying all of a sudden?

"Gerard..." She sighed, patting her son's back.

"I'm... I'm s-s-so... Fucking sorry... I just wanted to see Mikey." he sobbed against her hair. "I wanna' be allowed to see my family."

Oh, Frank thought. He's crying because he feels like a stranger... He feels like he should have called... Or not have shown up at all... Ever. 

"Who's this?" she jutted her chin in Frank's direction, still holding her son.

Gerard broke free from the hug and wiped his face. "This is Frank. He's a friend. He drove me here." he told her truthfully... Kind of. "Can we come in?"

She looked between the two boys... Kind of how Linda did. She nodded, sternly. "Only for a few minutes. Your father's going to be home soon." she said, pushing the door open and stepped aside.

Gerard nodded quickly and stepped in, moving his fingers through his hair. Frank was close behind and when they were in he watched Gerard's mother close the door behind them.

"GERARD!" A small voice shrieked in excitement.


	7. Bloody Hands

There goes the kid Gerard had photos of scattered all around his apartment. He was a cute kid... Mousy hair, glasses too big to fit on his tiny face. He's fucking adorable and Frank kinda wants to hug him the way Gerard's hugging him, too.

"Gee, I missed you so, sooooo much! Mom got me new leggos and I have this awesome train set and... And even a new video game! It's Mario Go-kart!" The little boy spewed excitedly, taking Gerard's hand and dragged him further in to the house.

Frank coughed, looking at Gerard's mom. She blinked at him, much how Gerard did, and nodded her head to the right. "Coffee?" She asked.

"Uh, yeah... If it's not any trouble."

She giggled under her breath, shaking her head. "It's coffee... Not a five course meal."

Ahhhh, Frank thought, great... She even has his sense of humour.

He blushed, following her to the kitchen.

They could hear Gerard and Mikey in the living room. Gerard's praising all of stuff Mikey's showing him and telling him he's gotten big and Mikey tells him he's getting big too...

"Gee, your hair's getting so long!" Mikey squeaked, tugging on his brothers hair. "It's so prettttyy." He stared, awestruck.

Gerard chuckled and rakes his fingers through his locks. "Y-yeah... Thanks, Mikey-mouse. Your hair's longer too... I know for a fact dad's gonna' be taking you to the barbers soon."

Mikey groaned and covered his hair with his little hands. "No! I want my hair to grow like yours! I wanna' be just like you, Gee!"

Gerard's heart swelled at that and he blinked slowly, trying not to let the tears pour out. "Y-yeah?" Gerard sniffed, grabbing his brother's hand.

"Yeah!" Mikey exclaimed, throwing himself in to Gerard's lap on the floor. 

"Well, I'm not that great... You know that. You know that better than anyone." Gerard whispered into the little boy's hair. 

Mikey shook his head against him. "You're the bestest... And I wish daddy would let you live with us again. Mommy wants you to... But then daddy got mad and yelled at her." 

Gerard turned his head in to the direction of the kitchen where he can hear the muffled sounds of Frank and his mother's voices. 

They sounded urgent... Worried... Or scared—all of the above.

"Oh..." Was all Gerard said to that, turning his attention back to his brother. "Wanna' get to know my new friend? His name's Frank... I think you'll like him." Gerard smiled, lifting Mikey out of his lap as he smiled at him. 

* * *

"What kind of trouble has he gotten himself into this time?" She asked bluntly, pouring coffee into the cup in front of Frank.

"Well, I don't think I'm allowed to sa--"

"I'm his mother. You need to tell me. If it's money... If he needs money I'll give it to you to pay whoever or whatever it is he needs to pay off." She said, turning off the coffee machine.

"Ma'am..." Frank started and she cut him off, sticking her hand out and waved it from side to side.

"Call me Donna." 

"Well, _Donna_ , I assure you that Gerard doesn't owe money to anyone... At least I don't think he does... He's kind of in a mix up with, eh, the Shadows family."

Donna gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. "It's that M guy isn't it? I fucking told him to stay away from that man." She said in a hushed whisper. "He's nothing but trouble."

"Yeah... Um, that's all I can say. I'm sorry." Frank said, staring into his cup of coffee.

Donna sighed and adverted her eyes to the kitchen door. Gerard and Mikey stepped through, holding hands.

"Mommy let me have some coffee yesterday!" Mikey exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

Gerard giggled and picked Mikey up and sat him down on the dinner table across from Frank. "You sure she didn't give you some today too?" He joked, running his hands through his little brother's hair.

Mikey laughed, shaking his head. "No, she said I was way too hyper."

Frank laughed and looked over at Donna. She was facing the stove; her back was to them and her head was bowed.

Frank swore he heard her sniffle.

Fuck, he thought. He didn't mean to make her cry. 

"So, Mikey... This is my friend Frank." Gerard said, glaring at him across the table.

"Boyfriend?" Mikey asked teasingly.

"No!" Frank said a little too quickly. Donna, Mikey and Gerard stared at him in sync. "Uh, no. Friends just friends."

"Yeah, you know I'm with M, Mikey. You've hung out with him a few times." Gerard smiled weakly. "He bought you that Tonka truck for your birthday last year, remember?"

Mikey hummed and kicked his feet back and forth. "Yeah, that was cool, but I don't like him Gee. He says mean things about you all the time and he put his belt around your neck and squeezed it."

Gerard froze. His eyes were wide and his mouth was tightened in to a small line.

"Excuse me?" Donna leaned against the counter with her elbows. "He did what?"

Gerard turned to his mother and shook his head, pleading with his eyes. "N-no... Ma, no." He begged.

"Mikey, go in to the living room. I'm gonna have a talk with your big brother."

Mikey nodded and rose his arms for Gerard to pick him up and set him on the floor.

Once he was down he rushed out.

"Okay." Donna started when the kitchen door flapped closed. "What the fuck Gerard. He's beating you?!"

"It's not like that!" He screamed in defence.

"And Mikey's witnesses it?!" She continued.

"I said it's not like that!"

Frank was stuck in between this. He was sitting over his half finished coffee and right now he really didn't want to be in this position.

"Then what's it like, Gerard?!"

Gerard tightens his jaw and grinds his teeth together. He had nothing to say.

"Why the fuck are you in this mess? Why are you letting him do this to you? He's going to fucking kill you, Gerard." Donna said, banging her fist on the counter.

"He's not." Gerard said sternly. "He... I didn't get back to him on time about where I was that day... When he did that I had left Mikey in the guest room... I guess he came looking for me in M's room."

Donna shook her head in disgust. "He could've killed you."

"No... If he wanted to kill me he would have done it a long time ago." Gerard said and Donna just stared at him, wide eyed and terrified.

"Your father's going to be home soon. You need to go." She said quietly.

Frank jumped up quickly, nodding anxiously. "Yes ma'am. Gerard come on." He grabbed the taller mans arm.

Gerard said nothing. He just stumbled behind Frank until they went through the front door.

A truck was pulling up in the driveway and Gerard gasped. It made Frank nervous because that didn't seem like a good thing.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." Gerard muttered, hiding behind Frank.

"What, what's wrong?" Frank asked, watching a tall, blonde, middle aged man hop out of a black pick-up truck.

"Who the fuck said you could show your fucking face around here?!" The man charged at them and Frank stepped aside, moving out of the way quickly.

Gerard cowered as the man yanked him by his hair and slammed him in to the garage door.

"Didn't I fucking tell you to stay away from us you sick son of a bitch?!"

Frank was in complete and total shock. Was this Gerard's father...?

"D-dad, p-please..." Gerard cried, scratching at his father's hands which were tangled in his hair. "I'm s-sorry! Fuck... I'm fucking sorry!"

"Yeah, you're gonna' be!" He pulled Gerard's head off the door and then rammed it against it, twice.

Frank had no control of what he was doing. He was suddenly behind the older man, grabbing him by his shoulder and throwing him to the floor.

He also hadn't noticed he'd pulled his pistol out and had it pointed to the man on the floor.

"That's e-fucking-nough." He said sternly and the man froze. He was examining the gun with fear in his eyes.

"Who the fuck are you? Another one of Gerard's pimps?" He asked and Frank cocked his gun a bit.

"No sir, I'm your sons fucking keeper. And I'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from beating him in to a fucking garage door." Frank said calmly.

Gerard was on the ground, on his knees, clutching onto his bleeding nose as he looked up at Frank. His fucking hero.

"Now... We'll be leaving. Gerard, get up, get in the fucking car and don't say a goddamn word." Frank instructed and Gerard scrambled up on his feet, still holding his bleeding face and rushed off to Franks car, not looking back.

Frank lowered his gun and backed away. "He's your fucking son, man." He whispered to the man on the floor in disgust. 

That's all Frank says as he puts his gun away and starts towards his car.

He hops in and glared at Gerard. His hands were palmed over the bottom half of his face and Frank sighs, going through his glove compartment for tissues. "Here..." He hands the bleeding man a handful.

Gerard takes them, his fingers brush across Franks, smearing blood on them. "T-Thanks." Gerard stammered quietly, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Frank nodded, staring at the smudge of blood on his fingers as he started the car.

"No problem..."

 _As if I needed more blood on my hands_...


	8. Humpty Dumpty

The whole car ride Gerard's crying his eyes off and touching his thighs, scrubbing at them anxiously.

Frank kept looking between him and the road and when they pulled up to Gerard's place the prostitute jumped out of the car before Frank can even pull into the parking lot and jets to his front door. He unlocked it in a rush and stormed inside, slamming the door shut behind him.

Frank groaned loudly and hopped out of his car as soon as it's parked and off. He goes to Gerard door and turns the knob.

"Fuck!" He screamed, kicking the door when he realised he'd been locked out. "Gerard!" He started banging on the door, flustered. "Let me the fuck in! Don't make things harder for you!"

Inside, Gerard leaned against his door and slid down it. He looked around his apartment and smacked his forehead over and over again.

"Fuck you!" He screamed, getting on his knees. He was facing the door now. "You must think I'm some kind of fucking idiot, huh?"

Frank sighed and raked his fingers through his hair out of frustration. "What're you goin' on about?"

This assignment was turning out to be a lot more difficult than actually killing people.

Frank thinks he'd rather gouge some guys eyes out than babysit some bratty, coked up hooker.

"I know why you're really here! You're not gonna' fucking be my nanny! You're going to fucking kill me. M sent you here to kill me!" He screamed.

Frank sighed, shaking his head. "You got it all wrong Gerard... Don't you think M would wanna' kill you himself?" 

"FUCK YOU!"

Frank punched the door and growled. "If you keep saying that I'm gonna' find a way to get in there and really fucking kill you."

"Fuck. You." Gerard emphasised harshly.

That's its, Frank thought. He was fed up. He was done being nice and playing games.

He made his way around to the back of the building and started for the window that was supposed to lead to Gerard's bedroom.

He pushed it up and thank goodness it was unlocked.

"God, he really is as stupid as he looks." Frank said to himself and crawled through the window after he ripped off the shredded screen.

He charged for the bedroom door and pulled it open. 

There was Gerard, standing in his kitchen; his body facing the stove as he waited for his coffee to rise.

Frank sneakily stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist and placed his hand over his mouth.

Gerard's scream was muffled and he started to thrash in Franks grip.

"Shhhh! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" Frank hissed and started to back them up into the living room. "I'm not gonna' fucking kill you. Fucking relax!"

He sat down on the couch, with Gerard on top of him; his arm still wrapped around his waist and his hand on his mouth.

Gerard was still screaming and squirming, but Frank was stronger than him. He wasn't going to get out of the hold.

"You're just making things worse, Gerard... Just calm down." Frank said calmly and Gerard suddenly stopped screaming. "I'm gonna let go of your mouth... We're gonna' talk and no one's gonna' die, okay?"

Gerard nodded hard.

"Okay..." Frank slowly lowered his hand and the first thing Gerard does is lick his lips. "Can I trust you not to do anything crazy when I let go of you?"

Gerard just nodded and Frank loosened his grip on him.

Gerard jumped out of his lap, whirled around and brought his hand up and smacked the shit out of Frank.

Before Gerard can pull his hand back Franks grabbing his wrist and pulling him back on top of him. This time facing him.

"What did we just agree on? Are you fucking insane?!" Frank screamed in his face.

"I'm fucking upset!" Gerard screamed back, louder. "I'm so sick of this! I'm tired of being raped, harassed... Stalked!"

Frank pushed him to the ground and grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

"Wanna' know why this kind of shit happens to you?" Frank asked, inching closer to Gerard's face. "Because you fucking ask for it!" He shoved Gerard completely on the floor, flat on his back, and climbed over him, grabbing the front of his shirt again so he wouldn't escape.

Silence fell over them like a thick, heavy blanket.

Frank's ears started to ring and his vision got a bit blurry. He was light headed from all the screaming and now guilt was crashing into his conscious.

Gerard blinked up at him, hard. "G-get off..." He pleaded as tears started to freely roll down the sides of his face and into his hair.

Frank let go of front of Gerard's shirt and climbed off of him.

He watched the man get up, slowly, and head back into the kitchen to turn off the stove once his coffee pot gurgled at him, indicating that it was done.

Frank climbed off of the ground and looked around the destroyed apartment.

He scratched the back of his neck and released a deep sigh. "... Gerard..." He trailed off, looking at the picture of Gerard and his father on the coffee table.

It looked like Gerard cleaned Bert's cum off of it.

He picked up the photo and glared at Gerard and his fathers expression. They were snuggled closely together, grinning.

Frank took the photo into the kitchen with him and set it on the counter Gerard was standing next to.

"Your dad looks different here." Frank Stated and Gerard adverted his eyes to the photo and picked it up.

He stared down at it; his hair curtained around his jaw, covering his face so Frank couldn't see his expression.

"I... Miss him." Gerard whispered.

Frank rose a brow at that. "You just saw him. He was kind of a dick." 

Gerard shook his head hard and placed the photo back down on the counter.

"You don't understand him."

"I understand he treated you like shit--fuck, Gerard. I pointed a gun at him. I had to." Frank pointed to Gerard's face; his thumb and index finger in the shape of a gun.

Gerard swatted at his hand. He turned back to the stove and poured his coffee into his mug. "You don't know anything about my dad. He's a good man. He's a protector and he's... He's strong and loyal--"

"Hear yourself!" Frank interrupted the hooker, scoffing. "He shoved your face into a garage door!"

"SHUT UP!" Gerard shrieked and slammed his coffee pot on the table.

Frank backed away, with his hand against his hip where his gun was strapped.

Gerard hunched over the counter, over the photo of his father and started to cry hysterically.

"You're not telling me something... What happened between you two?" Frank dropped his hand once he realised Gerard was upset not hostile.

"It's me, Frank... It's my fault he hates me... Frank, I'm sick. I'm so fucking sick." He choked out a sob, shaking his head.

Frank was confused now. So fucking confused.

"Gerard... You're not sick... Well, you do have issues you need to work out, but we all do--"

"I was in love with him, okay?!" Gerard screamed. His voice made the walls shake and Frank blinked at him. 

"W-what? Your dad?"

Gerard laughed bitterly and turned his head away from Frank's intimidating stare. "He's not my real dad... My biological father died... He died in a car crash when I was 2. He's Mikey's dad." 

Frank took a seat at the two person dining table and rubbed his jaw. "So you're in love with your step dad?"

Gerard slapped the counter and groaned. "I was, okay?! That's why he kicked me out. I came onto him one night, when he was drunk on my 18th birthday. I came onto him and he bashed my face in."

Frank sat silently and gazed over Gerard's pained and embarrassed expression. He was disgusted with himself.

"Eddie's a wonderful man and... And it was hard for me to not fall in love with him. Growing up I was so jealous of my mom and I hate myself for that. I deserved what he did to me. I deserve to be the A7X whore." He turned back to his coffee and took a soothing sip.

Frank continued to stare at Gerard with a puzzled expression etched on his face. "He didn't have to hit you... I mean," Frank trailed off chuckling, "he really should have committed you."

Gerard rolled his eyes and sighed. "You're hilarious..." He murmured sarcastically. "You should do stand-up."

"I've gotten that loads of times."

"I'm sure..."

Gerard started for the living room and set his cup of coffee down on his coffee table. "I need to clean this mess," he said, looking around the room.

Frank entered the living room, nodding. "I'll help you. I even have a 42" inch TV I don't use anymore that I could give you." He stood in front of the busted flat screen.

"Oh, really?" Gerard chirped, surprised with Franks generosity. "That would be great, but I shouldn't... I mean I can't take that."

Frank turned to face the man. "Why not? It's a gift to you. I mean it. I want you to have it. Plus, I have these really nice sectional brown leather couches in my storage... Actually, I have a lot of stuff in my storage you can keep. It's been sitting there for ages." 

Gerard rose a brow at him and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

 _Because I feel bad for ruining your place_ , was what he wanted to say, but he just smiled instead and said: "You opened up to me and I think that was really brave of you... Plus, you're a nice person. You deserve nice things. It's the least I can do."

Gerard shot him an ear to ear grin and nodded apprehensively. "Okay... Fine. You can give me free stuff." 

Frank laughed at Gerard's sense of humour and grabbed a broom that had been leaning against the wall behind him.

"Cool, let's clean up this disaster and after we're done we can get you you're new furniture."

Frank started sweeping and Gerard nodded at him and grabbed the vacuum.

They cleaned in silence, smiling at each other and smirking to themselves.


	9. Hello Angel

Gerard blinked up at his bedroom ceiling. He was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, but he couldn't... Frank's snoring was loud in the living room. He was asleep on the sectional couch, which could be pulled out and turned into a futon.

Gerard was physically exhausted from moving all of Franks stuff into his apartment, but mentally satisfied. He didn't have to worry about spending money he didn't have on new shit.

He couldn't stop thinking about Frank... How nice he'd been. He wanted to repay the favour.

Gerard rolled onto his side and sighed.

He wanted to give Frank something to make him happy... Something that'll make him feel good...

Gerard blinked his eyes closed and took a deep breath. He moved his hands down to his bulge and palmed himself.

He was hard.

' _No_ ', he thought to himself, ' _no, I'm not gonna' use sex to thank him_ '.

Gerard brought his hand up from his cock and shook his head.

' _But I can_ '...

He rolled out of bed and slipped his slippers on. He couldn't believe he was going to go through with it.

Gerard open his door slowly to prevent it from creaking so loudly. He stepped quietly into the living room and wrapped his arms around himself.

"F-Frank..." He said, moving closer to the sleeping man.

Frank continued to snore.

Gerard nibbled on his bottom lip and started to sit down on the futon. He moved his hand on Franks shoulder, gently, and shook him. "Frank." He said louder.

Franks eyes were open in a flash and Gerard jumped back a bit, shocked. 

"Gerard. What?" He croaked, sitting up quickly. "What's wrong?"

Gerard felt bad now. He didn't mean to give the man a heart attack.

"N-nothing... I mean, I just wanted to thank you again." Gerard mentally smacked himself across the face.

Thank him _again_? What the fuck.

Frank rubbed at his eyes with his fists and then picked his phone up off the coffee table to check the time.

"Gerard... It's 3am."

Gerard shifted on the futon and nibbled on his bottom lip.

Frank stretched his arms out over his head and laid back down on the futon. "Man... I was in a deep sleep too."

Gerard continued to remain silent. He pushed his hands down on the futon on and climbed onto it.

Frank said nothing about Gerard getting into bed with him, but he turned to face him. "I don't think that's the reason you woke me up. Really, Gerard, what's bothering you?"

"I'm... A little cold." He lied, pressing his head down onto Franks chest.

Frank tensed up and he tipped his head down; his chin rested on the top of Gerard head and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Can I just sleep with you tonight?" Gerard asked; his voice barely audible.

"Uh..." Frank stammered. He didn't know how to say no to that... "Sure." So he didn't.

"Thanks." Gerard muttered and draped his arm across Franks waist.

They were in that position for what felt like an eternity.

Frank was still awake, but Gerard had fallen asleep and was drooling on his chest.

He wanted to move, but he was afraid he'd wake up Gerard.

An hour goes by and Franks back is starting to feel like it's made out of jelly and his arm was dead from laying on it awkwardly.

Suddenly, Gerard lifts his head slowly and blinks up at him.

Frank closed his eyes quickly before Gerard could notice he was awake.

"Frank, you awake...?"

Frank remained 'asleep' and Gerard shifted his body completely on top of him.

He feels lips on his throat and clammy hands on his pelvis.

Frank shuddered and let out a stifled moan.

Gerard lowered himself down Franks body until his face was levelled with his crotch.

He tugged at the waistband of the other mans pants and exposed his semi hard-on to the cold air.

Gerard gripped him, delicately, and started to lick along his shaft.

Frank gasped and opened his eyes. "Gerard..." He said sternly, but quietly. "What are you--?"

Gerard pulled away from Frank's hardening member and adverted his eyes to Frank's face.

They could barely see each other, but their eyes have adjusted to the dark so they could kind of make out the others face.

"Huh?" Gerard squeaked, tightening his grip on Franks shaft.

"What're you doing?" Frank tried again, pulling himself out of Gerard's hand.

"I was just... Trying to--"

"You don't have to do that. You're not at M's house, okay? You're home. You're safe."

Gerard swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded his head apprehensively. "I just thought... I wanted to do something nice for you." He admitted meekly.

Frank shook his head and urged Gerard off of him. "C'mon... Get off. You really don't have to do that. S'not right."

Gerard's cheeks were flushed from embarrassment. He felt pathetic and foolish.

"Uh, sorry..." He climbed off the futon and stood there, looking down at the smaller man with shame written all over his face.

He was usually shameless when it came to this kind of thing... Offering head, or sticking his ass in the air, because he thought that was expected of him. And it was, so now he was confused.

Frank kicked his legs off the edge of the futon and yawned loudly. "I mean, don't get me wrong... You're drop dead gorgeous. But..." He trailed off, looking up at Gerard with a serious glint in his eyes.

"I know. I get it. I'm a whore." Gerard snapped. He could see the disgust written all over Franks face.

Gerard started for his bedroom just as he let the sentence leave his mouth. He didn't want to be pitied anymore... Especially not from one of M's bastard followers.

"Gerard! Come on man... You take everything the wrong way!" Frank jumped off the futon and jetted after the other man. 

"No! I fucking know, Frank! I fucking get it, okay? I'm the fucking whore who fucked half the male population of New Jersey, including your dick head dad!" Gerard slammed his bedroom door, but Franks foot caught it before it could close.

"Actually, I'd completely forgotten about that." Frank said, speaking in a relaxed tone. "What I was gonna' say was, I don't fuck on the first date."

When the words leave Franks mouth Gerard stands there, confused and not feeling himself.

Was he dreaming?

"Seriously?" Gerard asked as Frank stepped into his room, scratching the back of his neck.

"Uh, yeah... You know, I think you've got some denial issues. Has anyone ever said no to you?" Frank wondered.

Gerard was as bright as a fucking cherry. He shook his head and Frank chuckled. "Figures... S'kinda cute though. When M made me... Y'know, fuck you in front everyone I did want to. Don't get me wrong, but more than anything I wanted to ask if you were okay. I wanted to hold you and just blanket myself around you."

Gerard blinked, dumbfounded. "Why didn't you?" He asked. He knew the answer. He knew M would've been pissed.

Frank shrugged. "I was scared... Humiliated."

Gerard's chest tightened at that. Frank felt what he'd felt... What he feels every single day of his life. He was a victim. He has a guilty conscious... He has a good heart.

"Like me..." Gerard whispered; his voice trembling.

Frank stared at him, silence surrounding them, and he nodded stiffly. "Yeah." He whispered back. "Like you."

* * *

Frank wakes up the next morning; his chest pressed up against Gerard's back. They're both dressed... 

Nothing happened.

The light peaking through Gerard's blood red curtains is what wakes him up. The strip of light is hitting him across his face, causing his skin to heat up there.

He slowly removes his arm from around Gerard's hip and peels his chest from his back.

The pale man doesn't wake up, instead he shifts and begins to snore.

Frank manages to get out of bed without interrupting Gerard's sleep and heads into the living room, rubbing his face and yawning soundlessly.

He needed a big ass cup of coffee and a plate of his mothers lasagna. He fucking deserved it.

He entered the kitchen and went through the fridge. He pulled out a carton of eggs, pancake barter, milk and butter.

He thought about how hungry Gerard would be when he woke up and he also thought about a lot of the things he learned about Gerard.

Most of it was alarming, but he wasn't alarmed... All of it was devastating, but he wasn't devastated.

He was happy though. Happy because he was in Gerard's life now and he could help make it better. He could help the man forget about the alarming and devastating things he'd endured and replace it with... Happiness.

Frank was on the second batch of pancakes when his cell went off. He set the spatula down on the the counter and turned the stove down.

He rushed to the living room and plucked his cell off of the coffee table and answered it.

"Frank Iero speaking."

"Frankie, my boy... At the whore's place?" M's voice rung loud and clear.

Frank cringed at the insult and gritted his teeth. "Uh, uhm... Yeah. He's asleep. Ya know, long day and all." His tone was nothing like his emotions.

"Tell me all the details later... I got a question." 

"Okay... What is it?" Frank asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"Are you willing to take him to a clients house? I got called up by some big shot CEO guy. Owns, like, half of New Jersey. Gerard's been with him before but they were in a bit of a lovers quarrel about a month ago. He wants to pay good money for Gerard." M said. To Frank it sounded more like a request... Not a question.

"Um, yeah, sure. But what about Sidney?" Frank asked. He still had the package M gave him in his car.

"Oh yeah... I'll call him up and deal with him myself." M cleared up. "So, I'mma text you the address to CEO's place and you'll escort Gerard."

They exchanged farewells and after a minute of silence Frank's cell vibrates, indicating the text went through.

He's back in the kitchen now, turning the heat on the stove back up and finished up with cooking.

He fixes Gerard a plate and when he's done he starts to go to Gerard's bedroom. He gently pushes the door open with his foot. He glances at the mans sleeping form and smiles to himself.

The poor thing... He looked so out of it.

Frank plopped down on the bed and sighed. He didn't want to wake Gerard up, but he didn't want the food to get cold.

"Gerard... Wake up." Frank nudged him with his elbow.

Gerard's eyes shot open and he grumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?" Frank asked, giggling.

Gerard shot him a funny look and shook his head. "Wha?" He murmured, sitting up slowly.

"I made you breakfast. Eat up." He set the plate on Gerard's lap.

Gerard stared at the food, puzzled and still half asleep. "You made me breakfast?" He asked groggily.

"Yeah, of course." Frank said, nodding.

Frank knew Gerard wasn't used to such a kind gesture... Especially from one of M's men.

That moment was like a punch to the face for Frank. He couldn't possibly be the only decent man in that gang... He just couldn't be.

"Just say thank you and I'll be on my way." Frank grinned, hopping off the bed.

"Oh... Uh, thanks... Frank." He stammered, grabbing his fork daintily.

Frank started for the door and before he left he subtly peeked a glance at Gerard as he wolfed down the food.

Frank chuckled softly and shook his head as he closed the door shut slowly behind him.

' _He's pretty cute_ ', Frank thought, mentally wiping the syrup off Gerard's upper lip.


	10. Marco Polo

Gerard sat in silence as he devoured the breakfast Frank made him. Gerard's pretty sure Frank likes him... Like, a lot. He can tell...

No one was that nice to him unless they wanted something from him. He knew Frank was a gentleman though. He'd been raised right by his mother... Definitely not by his father.

Mr. Iero was a bastard. An angry, money hungry bastard and Gerard's happy Frank now sees him for what he is.

Gerard's plate is licked clean by the time he's done. He jumped out of bed and left his bedroom to take his plate to the sink.

As he stepped out Frank was sitting on the sofa, talking on his cell.

"Yeah, hey... I gotta go... Yeah, I love you too baby... Bye-bye." He ended the call and smiled sheepishly at Gerard. "Hey, how was breakfast?"

Gerard stood there; his cheeks red and his palms sweaty. He was standing there, looking at Frank, holding his plate in his hand like a fucking moron.

 _I love you too baby_...

Gerard nodded stiffly and started for the kitchen.

He knew it was too good to be true. Frank wasn't single and didn't fucking like-like him.

"So. I got a call from M while you were asleep. He said I have to take you to a clients house. Wanna' get ready so we can head out?" Frank stood up from the sofa and followed Gerard into the kitchen.

"I'm off today." Gerard said numbly. "I'm not in the mood to suck some old guys dick."

Frank rose a brow at the raven haired man and reached out to touch his shoulder. "M ordered it, Gerard. He said the guy owns half of Jers--"

"MAD?" Gerard asked, turning off the sink once his dish was clean. 

"What?" Frank asked, retrieving his hand.

"Mark Arthur Dunham... They call him MAD. He's a fucking lunatic." Gerard muttered, turning around to face Frank. "I don't want to see him. I told him that. He knows that."

Frank sighed. He felt bad. He didn't want to force Gerard to sleep with the man, but he didn't have a choice.

"What'd he do to you...? If you don't mind me asking." Frank asked, taking a seat at the little dining table.

Gerard joined Frank at the table and let out a deep breath. There was a lot to explain. 

"Mark's just... He asked me out... Like, on dates and stuff. The guy's crazy... He's got, like, a penchant for birds. He thinks I'm his boyfriend or something. The last time I saw him he was holding a knife to my throat, threatening to kill me if I ever 'leave him'." He used quotation bunnies and then rolled his eyes, but continued to soil the mans name.

"The guy's not all there. I mean, he's a divorced, 40 year old with ten year old twin girls, whom I met over an awkward dinner. He made me tell them I was with him. He paid decently." Gerard shrugged, running his finger along a coffee stain on the table.

Frank leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. "Seriously?"

Gerard nodded and tucked a lock of his greasy hair behind his ear. "I told him if he ever tried to contact me I'd tell M, but it looks like he went straight to the source for permission to hire me."

Frank hummed and scratched the side of his head. "Y'know we still gotta go, right? I'll be right outside the door, so it's not like you're gonna' be alone. We'll frisk him and check the room and if he's clean you go in and out. I'll give him an hour, tops. Any longer than that I'm going in there and I'll personally rip his dick out. Okay?"

Gerard was taken aback by Frank's plan, but he nodded nonetheless. "Y-yeah. Okay." He said. "Let me just... Grab my coat."

He jumped out of his seat and hurried to his bedroom.

He entered the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He did it quickly and rinsed his mouth out with mouth wash.

He glared at his reflection and frowned. He looked like shit still... The bruise on his eye was now purple and his lip was still swollen.

He needed to cover it up with makeup and he did. He fixed his eye and covered the scratch on his lip and voila... He looked untouched. 

He came back with his coat on his arm and his coat around his hickey littered throat. He jutted his chin towards Frank who was occupied texting on his cellphone and coughed involuntarily.

"Ready." He said and Frank quickly looked up at him.

"Oh... Okay, great. Let's go." He stood up slowly and tucked his phone into his back pocket. "Nice face." Frank smirked, pulling open the front door.

"Thanks." Gerard stepped through the door, smirking back.

***

The ride to Mad-- the CEO's house is long and quiet... Gerard keeps discreetly staring at Frank... He can't help it because the man looks so fucking beautiful in the morning glow and he wants to make him stop the car so he can kiss him, but he knew Frank would deny him. He'd shove Gerard off and tell him it isn't right.

Gerard sighed at the thought and Frank turned to look at him once they stopped at a red light.

"What's up?" Frank asked, putting his hand on Gerard's knee. He rubbed him soothingly there. "You nervous?" He'd mistaken Gerard's sexual frustration with nerves...

 _God_ , Gerard thought, _that's so fucking cute and naïve_.

Gerard looked down at Frank's hand and blushed... He rested his hand over Frank's and smoothed his nails lightly across the mans olive skin. 

"No." Gerard said meekly, slightly spreading his knees apart.

Frank stared, quietly, and Gerard's hand picked up his own and brought his fingers to his mouth. He parted his lips and surprisingly pushed Frank's index finger inside.

Frank's mouth dropped open as Gerard sucked on his finger.

He was moaning and working it in and out of his mouth.

Frank felt his cock twitch and just as he was about to say something honking and shouting erupts and Frank quickly pulls his finger out of Gerard's mouth and pressed his hand back to the wheel and hits the gas.

Frank took a deep breath and makes a sharp turn towards the large neighbourhood gates. He entered the code M texted him and drove through.

"Frank..." Gerard whispered.

"H-huh?" Frank stammered, parking his car into the CEO's driveway.

"I... I really like you... And I just want you to know that I'm sorry if I come off too strong. I've always been this way a-and... It's not because I do it for a living... I really, really fucking like you." He confessed, unbuckling his seat belt quickly.

Frank folded his lips together and adverted his eyes up and down Gerard's physique. He chuckled under his breath and pulled the man towards him, by his scarf, and pressed his lips to his cheek. "I like you too... Didn't I make that clear?"

Gerard let go of his seat belt and smiled. He grabbed Frank by his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. A gentle, warm hug...

But it was so much more than that.

***

"Remember the plan?" Frank asked, slicking his hair back as they stood in front of the blood red manor doors

"Uh," Gerard sighed and then scratched the back of his head. "Frisk him, check his room... Uh, you're gonna' stand outside the door?"

"Yup. Ready?" Frank asked, readying his fist against the door.

Once he saw Gerard's nod he banged on the door sternly, choosing to not use the door bell.

He knew the knocking made more of a statement... A serious gang-man statement.

The door flies open and there's Mad... Tall, pale, skinny and fucking scary... He's got his arm sticking out with his black palm cockatoo, Marco, perched on it, squawking.

Frank stared in complete shock. The guy was already quite the character... A character out of a serial killer story.

"Oh..." Mad tsked, grinning at the bird. "Are you ready Marco?"

Frank has never gawked so hard in his life. His mouth must've been to his feet by now.

"Fly, Marco, fly!" Mad lifted his arm in the air and the black, majestic bird flapped his wings, causing Franks and Gerard's hair to blow off their faces.

Gerard looked unamused and he was rolling his eyes like a broken record. He looked like he wanted to slap Mad across his face.

Marco squawked, taking off into the front yard and soared down the street. Frank watched the beautiful bird until he flew out of sight.

"He'll be back after you're gone... He doesn't like the smell of dogs. You own a dog, am I correct?" Mad nudged his pointy chin in Frank's direction.

"Uh..." Frank stammered, looking Mad in his black eyes. "Y-yeah, like... Three."

"I thought so..." He whispered, tsking again. "Marco hates them... Had a incident where a Maltese puppy tried to chew up his tarsus." He said, clasping his hands together. He had a look of dismay etched on his face as re visited the memory.

Gerard shoved his way into the house and Mad yanked him back by his shoulder to stop him.

"Who do you think you are?" Mad asked, sounding petrified.

"Mark... Cut the fucking shit. You won, okay? So are you going to fuck me or not?" Gerard growled, shrugging the tall mans bony hand off of his shoulder aggressively.

Mad looked to Frank and then to Gerard. "Is this how the nights going to play out? Is he going to continue to disrespect me in my own home... Uh...?" He waved his hand at Frank, trying to conjure up his name as if out of thin air.

"Iero. Frank Iero." Frank stepped into the foyer as he introduced himself.

Mad bowed and shut the door closed. "Iero... Yes, I should have known. You look just like your father. I feel silly. Excuse my naïveté."

"Naïveté?! You fucking piece of shit!" Gerard shrieked, grabbing ahold of Mad's red, silk robe. "You fucking sadist prick!"

Frank yanked Gerard back by his scarf, causing him to choke a bit against it.

"Excuse him. He's a bit traumatised." Frank said, putting his hand on Gerard's hip once he settled down.

"No... It's okay. I know how my Gerard can be. He's beautiful, isn't he? All that... Aggression... And no where to put it. He's like a bird, trapped in a cage." Mad drifted off, starting up the staircase swiftly.

Gerard stayed put, glaring at Mad as he beckoned with his long, thin index finger to be followed up stairs. "Just Frank." He said, almost inaudibly.

Frank looked to Gerard and frowned. "I'll be right back. Will you be okay?" Frank asked, pressing his hand under Gerard's chin delicately.

Gerard sniffed soundly and nodded numbly. "Y-yeah."

Frank smiled weakly at the hooker and dropped his hand from his chin. He started up the stairs, not looking back.

Gerard watched Frank until he disappeared and sighed to himself. He was thinking about a lot of things until his train of thought was interrupted by familiar chuckling...

"Ah... Gerard. Long time no see..."

* * *

Gerard had been escorted into the bedroom by Jason, the Mad's manor butler.

Gerard knew Jason and Jason knew Gerard. Gerard doesn't like Jason and Jason doesn't like Gerard.

They had, what you would call (or not), a love-hate relationship. You'd think it's just sexual tension, but it was far from that.

"If you touch anything or give me a shit attitude I'll report it to Mad. So don't you dare give me any problems. Do I make myself clear?" Jason hissed; his voice icy and low.

He made Gerard scoff on more than one occasion every time a word left his mouth.

"If you really wanna' fuck me all you gottah do is pay up. You know I'm not that fucking expensive Jay-Jay." Gerard grinned as he crossed his legs and placed the palm of his hands on-top of his knee daintily.

Jason gagged and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Please, refrain from making me vomit." He turned around and rushed out of the room, coughing and shaking his head.

Gerard giggled, lying back in Mad's familiar bed as the bedroom door was slammed shut. He loved making people uncomfortable... Especially Jason.

* * *

He feels like he'd been waiting an eternity until finally Mad was barging into the room, his robe coming undone with Marco on his shoulder.

"You must think I'm stupid, baby-bird." Mad said, looking Gerard up and down. "I talked to M about the terms and conditions... You wanna' bring Iero here as your little body guard?" He set Marco down on his perch in the far off corner of the room.

Gerard sat up slowly; his eyes stern and his heart pounding.

"You want to call me... A sadist?" He started to saunter over to Gerard, head tipped down and eyes up; his black hair stayed slicked back, almost as if with black magic and Gerard recoiled at the horror that was about to be bestowed upon him.

"M-Mad... You know I-I was just... I was just t-teasin'. I would never." He whimpered as Mad jumped onto the edge of the bed and grabbed his ankle.

"M told me... I could have you any time I want. He said no bodyguards... Just an escort. He said I can do anything I want... That I could dismiss the 'escort' for an hour or two." Mad growled, yanking Gerard's boot off of his left foot. 

He let the scrappy shoe hit the floor with a thud and Gerard whimpered again.

Mad allowed his hands to venture up into the bottom of Gerard's jeans... All the way to the hookers thighs and he scraped his nails against him there.

Gerard hissed loudly, allowing his head to fall back against the fluffy pillows.

"I know what you like. We've gone through this millions-no! Billions of times. I grab you by your hair, throw you to the floor, slap you up a bit..." He trailed off, pulling his hands out of Gerard's jeans and pressed the palm of his hand against his own hardening cock.

Gerard lifted his head a bit and glared at the bedroom door. It couldn't be true... Frank had to be at the door. He said he would.

"You're a fucking liar Mark." Gerard spat, shaking his head in disgust. "You're just trying to scare me... To get a reaction."

Mad immediately dropped his hand from his cock and jumped out of bed.

He rushed to his bedroom door and pulled it open.

"Believe me now?" He shouted, jutting his chin forward dominantly.

Gerard gaped at the empty hallway and gnawed down on his bottom lip to prevent himself from crying like a fucking child.

Mad slammed the door shut once he's made his point and allowed his robe to completely slide off his glistening, pale body.

"Marco!" The black palm cockatoo squawked his own name mockingly, causing Mad to grin madly with his arms stretched out by his sides.

"Polo." Mad whispered breathlessly with his head held high.


	11. Lion Tamer

Frank couldn't believe what Mad just told him. He was actually kicking Frank out of his home. He was fucking confused.

Well, it wasn't just about being kicked out that irked Frank. It was more about how he had said it.

"Uh, excuse me?" Frank gawked as Mad stood near his mini bar, making himself a drink.

"I don't know if M told you, but before you got here he said to just dismiss you when you brought my babybird to me. I'm paying good money for alone time and I'm expecting to get it." Mad said monotony; his mind seemed to be in the gutter..

"Yeah, I got that but I already told Gerard I'd stand guard. He doesn't feel safe around you. The only reason why he agreed to coming over was because of that promise I made to him." Frank said quickly.

He didn't feel comfortable. At all.

Mad was too fucking creepy for his own good and when he turned around abruptly Frank nearly shrieked just as he would if he were watching a scary movie.

"Do I intimidate you Iero?" Mad sipped his drink; his eyes still on Frank's as he swallowed down his beverage.

"N-no. I'm just worried about what Gerard's going to think." He stammered and Mad chuckled at him.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll tell him the truth."

Frank took a deep breath and raked his fingers through his unruly hair. "I... Okay, okay. Fine. I'm gonna wait in the car. Send him out when you're, erm, finished with him."

Mad bowed. "Will do... I'll walk you out."

* * *

Gerard lied there like a rag doll. He didn't interact, fake any moans or praise Mad like he usually would for a good tip.

He was shutdown. 

Mad was rough. He kept changing positions, yanking Gerard's hair and scraping his nails down his hips.

Gerard wanted it to be over. He wanted to punch Mad across the face and run out of the house as fast as he can.

"Open your fucking mouth." Mad grunted loudly. He roughly pulled out of Gerard's body and gripped his base.

Gerard complied immediately. He closed his eyes as Mad crawled over him with his dick in his hand.

"Good babybird... So fucking good." He gasped as he gently rubbed the head of his cock against Gerard's tongue.

"To think you almost left me... Nng'fuck."

He started to fuck Gerard's mouth, tugging on his long hair and reciting derogatory remarks down at him. 

He was close. He squeezed his eyes shut and suddenly pulled himself out of Gerard's mouth and stroked himself until he came all over the younger mans face. 

Gerard scrunched his face up and made a sound of disapproval from the back of his throat and Mad laughed at him.

"Masterpiece." Mad breathed harshly, wiping his cock on Gerard's cheek. "Fucking beautiful."

Gerard sat up quickly and grabbed the bed sheets. He wiped the mans mess off his face.

"How much do I owe you again?"

Gerard dropped the sheets and glared at Mad. "... Twelve hundred." He whispered, sniffling quietly. "I don't want to see you again after this. I swear to God if you--"

Mad brought his hand up and struck Gerard across the face. 

The smack echoed and Gerard grasped his cheek, glaring at Mad through his greasy hair.

"What do I always warn you about?" Mad hissed, jumping out of bed. He grabbed his robe off the floor and slipped it on.

Marco squawked and flapped his wings for Mad's attention.

"Don't you dare put your fucking hands on me again. Don't you fucking dare, Mark." Gerard slipped his shirt on and crawled out of bed. "Just fucking pay me so I can leave."

Mad approached Marco and petted his head gently. "Shhh... Shhh..." 

Gerard slipped his underwear on, watching Mad as he started to talk to his bird. 

"He doesn't know Marco... He really doesn't fucking know."

Marco whistled and Gerard cringed. It was loud and high pitch.

"What don't I know, Mark?" Gerard asked harshly.

Mad turned to him and slowly started towards him.

Gerard instinctively sat down on the bed and mentally braced himself for another blow.

"Gerard... I..." He got down on his knee and grabbed Gerard's hand. "I love you."

Gerard's hand was shaking. He was looking intensely into Mad's eyes. "Y-you... Don't."

Mad stood up and abruptly shoved Gerard onto the bed, on his back.

He climbed over the younger man and started planting delicate, haste kisses along his jaw and throat.

"S-stop. We're done here. Just pay me." Gerard whimpered as Mad started to become more passionate. 

"It drives me crazy..." He groaned, wrapping his icy hand around Gerard's throat. "Your smell, your voice... Your body."

Gerard squirmed and attempted to shove the man off of him.

Mad pressed his other hand on Gerard's throat and slammed him against the mattress.

"Keep. Still." He growled through his teeth. "Keep. Fucking. Still."

Gerard whimpered and swallowed the lump in his throat.

He was scared now. Beyond scared. His heart was pounding and he was starting to sweat like crazy. He was pretty sure Mad was going to kill him.

"I love you, babybird. I want to marry you... I want to have children with you..." He whispered deeply into Gerard's ear huskily as his grip around his throat tightened.

Gerard continued to whimper against the mans grip and now he was clawing at his hands.

Mad moaned loudly as he pressed his growing erection against Gerard's thigh.

"And... If I can't have you..." He whispered, looking into Gerard's panicking eyes. "Nobody can." He finished saying with a chuckle.

Gerard was thrashing now; his nails were clawing into Mad's skin, ripping down and tearing his flesh open.

Mad was un phased by his wounds. He continued to choke Gerard out, slamming him into the mattress repeatedly, laughing like a lunatic.

"I'm not going to fucking kill you." 

Gerard felt himself losing consciousness as Mad laughed in his ear, trailing spit along his cheek and jaw. He can feel his tongue lolling out of his mouth and his eyes bulging out of his sockets.

He _was_ going to kill Gerard. He was going to fucking die the most cliche death for a hooker... At the hands of one of his sadistic clients, choking him half naked in a bed.

 _No_ , was all that was running through Gerard's head at the moment. Over and over again...

Gerard was no longer clawing Mad's hand anymore, instead, with all the strength he could muster he brought his knee up against the mans bulge.

And that's what saved his life.

He was released in an instant and Mad curled up in fetal position, cradling his balls.

"Fuck!!! Motherfuck--" he screamed. "What the hell!? What the fuck did you do that for?!"

Gerard flipped himself onto his stomach and spluttered off the edge of the bed. He sucked in as much air as his lungs could possibly allow him to.

"Y-you... You n-nearly fucking killed me!" He wheezed, pounding his fist against his chest. His sternum felt like it had collapsed.

"I said I wasn't!" 

Mad sat up quickly and pushed Gerard off the bed.

"Get the fuck out of here before I seriously do kill you.... Fucking psycho bitch. I was playing around with you and you wanna' attack me?" Mad jumped out of bed and went to his dresser.

He pulled his wallet off of the table and pulled the money out quickly.

"Fucking take it and go." He threw the bills at the hooker on the floor.

"Fucking take it!" Marco squawked, flapping his wings on his perch.

Gerard glared at the bird and then Mad. "Assholes." He said, piling the money off the ground and shoved it into his back pocket of his skinny jeans he had just slipped on. "The both of you."

He was already out of the bedroom before Mad could respond and quickly going down the stairs.

Jason was waiting by the door, arms behind his back with a nasty look on his face.

"Did you have fun?" He asked in a snarky tone.

Gerard shot him a dirty look, but said nothing to him as he rushed through the doors once they were open.

"Please do come again." Jason continued with the same tone, this time smirking deviously.

* * *

Frank was nearly passed out by the time he saw Gerard exiting Mad's house. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his head tipped down.

He was walking quickly, towards Frank's car.

"Gerard. Hey." Frank said groggily, rolling down his window.

Gerard said nothing and continued to walk pass the jeep.

"W-whoa! Hey, where are you going?!" Frank started his car and started down the road, close by Gerard's side.

"Fuck you, you fucking asshole!" He stuck his middle finger in the air, in Frank's direction.

"What the fuck?! What'd I do?!" Frank was beyond confused now. Gerard was so fucking unpredictable. He was never going to get used to his moods swings and bipolar outbursts.

"You're such a fucking liar! I can't believe I fucking believed you!" Gerard was walking faster now, head tipped down and his arms crossed over his chest again after he lowered his middle finger.

Then it dawned over Frank... He had promised Gerard he would stand by and be his body guard... He would make sure Mad didn't hurt him.

"G-Gerard. He kicked me out. It was an order from M. Incase you fucking forgot he's my boss and I have no choice but to respect him." Frank said quickly, trying to get through to the hooker as fast as he could.

"Suck my dick, you lying sack of shit."

Frank groaned loudly and suddenly pressed the brakes on his car.

Gerard stopped walking and jumped in shock at Franks sudden halt.

"I have fucking had it with your 16 year old girl attitude! Drop it! It's not fucking cute. You're a grown ass man and you have to listen to reason! That's why men treat you the way they do! You're fucking _eccentric_... And NOT in a good way." Frank shouted, hopping out of his car and yanked Gerard to the passenger side of the car.

"Now, you're fucking getting in the car, if you don't I'm calling your _boyfriend_ and I'm gonna' ask him to come all the way to this side of town just to put you in the car. And if I know M he's not gonna' be too thrilled about that." He threatened and Gerard just stared at him with his infamous vacant expression.

"Do I fucking make myself clear?!"

Gerard said nothing as he shrugged Frank's hands off of him and pulled open the passenger door.

He hopped in obediently and strapped on his seatbelt.

Frank went around to the drivers side and did the same. Except he had a bit of pride coursing through his veins.

He finally, sort of, had the upper hand.

They were starting to near the highway when Gerard cleared his throat. 

"By the way..." He said quietly, gaining Frank's attention.

"M _isn't_ my fucking _boyfriend_."

Frank blinked hard and tried to understand why Gerard felt it was important to announce such a statement.

He kept quiet though, sneaking glances at the hooker, trying to decipher that inexpressible look on his face. 

He couldn't... So he gave up. Maybe for once... It truly was...

Nothing.


	12. Jester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12, so soon?! 
> 
> Yeah, I know, I'm shocked too lol
> 
> Enjoy guys <3

Frank drives for a half hour... He's driving them to the small bar he and Bert go to from time to time. He thought maybe Gerard would like a drink... To unwind and talk about what happened between him and Mad.

"What're we doing here?" Gerard asked, glaring through the window, staring directly at the rundown building. "I don't want to fucking be here."

Frank parked the car and pulled the key from the ignition defiantly. "Well, I say we're going in. I want a drink."

"Frank. I fucking said no. Start your damn car and take me the fuck home. NOW!" 

Frank paid no mind to the hooker and jumped out of his car, key in his pocket and a smirk on his face. "Wait in the car if you want... But that skin head inside that Cadillac across the parking lot is kinda checking you out." Frank warned Gerard, starting for the front of the bar.

Gerard glared across the street and spotted the man who was in fact staring him down. He gagged soundly and hopped out of the car quickly. "Fine! Wait up!" He shouted, chasing after Frank.

He rushed into the familiar bar behind Frank and looked around instinctively.

No one he 'knew' was around and he sighed in relief.

Gerard followed Frank to the bar. A few people who were around were staring Gerard down like he was their business. They weren't stupid. They knew what he did and who he was. He could feel eyes roaming his entire being... Burning through him like laser beams. 

"Sit." Frank pulled a stool out for him and Gerard obeyed immediately.

"T-thanks..." Gerard whispered, looking down at the bar as the bartender approached them.

"What can I getcha?" He asked; his thick New Jersey accent almost made it impossible to understand what he was asking. To Gerard, it sounded like a threat... Almost like the man was picking a fight by his tone of voice.

"Hey boss. I'd like a jack and coke.... And uh..." Frank paused and looked at Gerard. "What d'you want?" 

Gerard pushed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and sniffled a bit. 

"Uh, a... A..." He trailed of. "Lemonade."

"Lemonade?" The bartender leaned in, making sure he heard the small, pale man correctly.

"Y-yes, please."

"Don't want vodka in it?" He laughed, leaning in closer and Gerard winced. "Fine! Alright, okay... Didn't mean to scare ya. Lemonade it is."

Frank chuckled lightheartedly and elbowed Gerard gently as the bartender started fixing up the drinks.

"Loosen up, man."

Gerard coughed and wriggled his nose. "I don't want to be here, Frank." He whispered, keeping his head down.

"C'mon, you gotta let me enjoy myself for a bit. I've been watching over you all day... I think I deserve it." Frank said quietly.

He looked around and noticed that half the skin heads in the bar were cruising Gerard.

"Have you.... Y'know? Done anything with a few guys in here?" 

Gerard peered his eyes off the bar and quickly scanned the room.

Someone had just walked in just as Gerard was about to say no.

It was a large, built man... About 6'2. He was wearing a black tank top, black cargo pants and black boots.

He was also covered in tattoos... A few of which were gang patches. 

Gerard ducked immediately and swallowed the lump in his throat. 

"You gottah be fucking kidding me..." He muttered under his breath.

Frank was now staring at the man that caused Gerard to recoil and rose his brow at him.

"No way... That's Leo Rush." Frank said, turning his attention back to Gerard. "You know him like that?"

"Frank... Shut. The. Fuck. Up." Gerard growled, keeping his head down. In hopes that he would go unnoticed.

"What's up ladies." Leo said to a group of men across the bar, walking passed Gerard and Frank. He didn't even acknowledge them and that made Gerard sigh in relief.

"Any nice piece of ass make it's way in here today?" Leo shouted.

Gerard cringed as the bartender set his drink in front of him.

"Enjoy your lemonade."

Gerard quickly lifted the glass and took a sip. Immediately he could taste a splash of vodka and he groaned.

"There wasn't any way he was going to give that shit to you plain." Frank laughed quietly, taking a sip of his own drink. "Even he knows you need a fucking drink."

Gerard rolled his eyes and took another sip, this time he was prepared to savor the alcohol. "If I get drunk you're taking care of me." he said and then downed his drink in two gulps.

He can hear Leo talking to the group of men behind them and the hairs on the back of his neck stick up when he hears his name come out of his mouth.

"Yeah, Gerard must think I'm pretty fucking stupid. I know that's him over there with Iero." He laughed, throwing daggers in Gerard's direction. "I'd pay him to come over here to take turns sitting on our laps, but if I wanted to fuck a wide opening I'd fuck that pothole next to my car in the parking lot."

Gerard gripped his glass and gritted his teeth.

Frank craned his neck and looked back at Leo.

"Did someone say my name? S'that you Leo?" Frank bellowed, jokingly.

"Yeah man, just saying the bitch you're babysitting is loose. Been fucked so much by M-Shadows."

Gerard spontaneously rose his hand and signaled the bartender to come his way.

The man smirked and leaned over the bar in Gerard's direction. "What can I getcha?"

Gerard leaned in even closer and pressed his hand against the back of the mans head. "Give me six shots of your best American Rye whiskey... _Back to back_." He whispered into his ear.

The bartender chuckled as Gerard emphasized 'back to back'. 

"Well, alright pretty boy... Don't die on us when I do." He walked away and started to sort through the stash, searching for a bottle.

Gerard craned his neck and glared at Leo, who was still watching him intensely. "For someone who doesn't want to fuck me you keep staring at me like you do." Gerard said snobbishly; his buzz gave him the courage to speak his mind.

"What'd you say to me you cock sucking piece of--" he cut himself off as he jumped over his chair and started for Gerard. "You think just because you're under Iero's protection by M's order you think I can't fucking kick your fucking teeth in?"

He grabbed Gerard by the back of his neck and shoved him on top of the bar; his head and chest flat against it as his feet pressed hard on the wood floor.

Frank grabbed Leo by his arm and stared intimidatingly into his eyes. "Just let him go and back up, man. I don't want to have a problem. We're cool, okay?" There was no threat in his voice and between their intense staring competition Gerard was whimpering and squirming which caused him to accidentally kick his stool over.

"Let him go..."

Frank urged and Leo looked down at Gerard and laughed bitterly.

"How much is he charging at this time?" Leo asked, letting go of the hooker.

"He's not. He's on break." Frank said sternly. "Now, go back to your buddies so he and I can discuss a few things. It's confidential."

Leo looked back and forth between Gerard and Frank and then quickly turned around and marched back to the group of guys he was hanging out with, muttering profanities under his breath.

Gerard pushed himself off the bar and sat back down on his stool after Frank picked it up for him. "Fuck..." He whispered, groaning. "He almost broke my fucking neck."

Frank rolled his eyes and tapped the bar on Gerard's side. "See what happens? You get all cocky and it pisses people off... I don't even want to imagine what he would have done to you if I wasn't here."

Gerard pressed his elbow down on the table and mushed the palm of his hand against his cheek. "I could tell you, but I think you probably don't want to puke and ruin your buzz."

Frank rolled his eyes at the thought. "It's best you don't."

The bartenders coming around the corner, holding a tray of six shots total.

"Here ya go." He laid them in front of Gerard and Frank. "Three each."

Frank gagged soundly and picked up his first one. "Well, okay. Here we fuckin' go. If anything happens don't call the cops."

Gerard already downed his first one just as Frank put his to his lips.

He grimaced and hissed loudly as the whiskey slid down his throat. He pounded on the table gently and rocked on his stool. "Fuckin' shit!" He said as he picked up his next one.

Frank was making his shot face from the first one still as Gerard downed his second.

"Yo, slow down man!" Frank said loudly and the bartender laughed, watching them intently.

"He's got you beat, Iero."

"Shuddup Darren." Frank gagged, taking his second shot as Gerard started to grab his third and last one.

Gerard slammed the glass down on the table and rose both arms in air. "Victory!" He shouted; his voice screeching.

Frank smacked his lips together obnoxiously and shook his head. "If you had said it was going to be a race I totally would have won."

Gerard slapped his arm playfully and stuck his tongue in between his teeth.

"I'm undefeatable." He said, giggling.

As Gerard said this Frank took his last shot and shook his head again.

"No more, man. That's my last one."

Gerard booed at him obnoxiously and then pointed at the bartender. "Two more for me, handsome."

The bartender looked at Frank, almost for his approval.

Gerard noted that and bit down on his bottom lip, tearing the skin there with his teeth.

Frank nodded and smirked. "He can handle it."

"Damn right I can." Gerard bellowed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I may not look it, but I'm a tank."

Frank chuckled and pressed his elbow down on the bar and his chin in the palm of his hand. "No, I believe you... How old are you again?"

Gerard glared at Frank and scoffed at him. "What's that gotta do with anything!?"

"Nah, just wonderin'..." Frank trailed off and looked down at the bar. The empty shot glasses were refilled and Frank gasped, drunk and confused.

"Whoa! What the--?!" He shouted, picking up one of the shot glasses. "Where'd this come from?!"

Gerard laughed loudly and pointed at the bartender who wasn't even paying attention to them. "Oh my god you're so wasted!" Gerard threw his arm over Frank's shoulder and fell against him. "You didn't tell me you were a funny drunk."

Frank chuckled and downed his shot. "I'm being serious! Is... Is Darren a ninja?" He hiccuped, pulling the hooker closer to him and whispered in his ear. "Who do you think he works for?"

"I don't know, but I gotta pee." Gerard said as he hopped out of his seat, nearly knocking Frank over in the process.

"W-wait, want me to go with you?" Frank asked, starting to stand up as well, but Gerard shook his head.

"No, I'm fine. I can go alone. It's only the bathroom." He assured his _babysitter_.

"Well..." Frank said, looking around the bar wistfully.

Leo wasn't around right now so that meant he must have left through the back and that made Frank feel one thousand times better about letting Gerard go to the bathroom alone. He didn't want anyone trying anything funny for the one minute he wasn't around to protect the prostitute... He knew it could happen. He was drunk, but he wasn't stupid. He knew how to think like a sick sadistic pig because it was his job to be one.

"Uh, okay... Shout if you need me." He said, giving Gerard his apprehensive consent with a nervous smile etched on his face as he sat fully on his chair.

Gerard nodded and turned around and started to head into the direction of the mens room. It was far in the back in a hallway that looked like it would lead to a warehouse.

Gerard walked down the hall quickly, trying to not seem drunk, which only made him more drunk. He pushed open the mens bathroom door and just as he was about to walk in a biker guy about 6'1 and 260 pounds grabbed him by his jacket.

"Whoa-oh!" Gerard shouted as he was pushed against the girls' bathroom door.

Thank goodness the door foot lock was down. He would've fell through if it wasn't.

"What'dyou think you're doin'?!" The man shouted at him, getting in his personal space

Gerard cringed at his liquor breath and blinked his eyes hard. "B-bathroom. I have to pee." He answered, shaking in his goddamn boots... Because seriously, this guy was a monster.

The biker pointed at the ladies symbol on the wall and then jammed his thumb in Gerard's chest. "You belong in there." He said, slurring. "Unless you want a surprise attack in the mens room."

 _Oh_ , Gerard thought, _that was actually helpful advice_.

"Uhh..." Gerard looked behind the man, in the direction of the mens room. "I... I'm not a girl though. It's kind of obvious."

The biker spat near the hookers boots and then coughed. "No shit, fucker. I heard some guys in the back plannin' shit to do to you in the mens restroom. Just givin' you a friendly warnin'. Take it or not. It's up to you." He said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders like he didn't give a fuck.

"Oh... Um, thank you--?" He pondered for the mans name.

"Jester." He slurred, starting to turn away.

"Jester..." Gerard said, watching him disappear. 

Once _Jester_ was gone Gerard smiled to himself and kicked up the doors foot of the girls' bathroom and pushed it open.

What he sees next is fucking horrifying.

Leo and four other guys are standing around the stalls and one of them grabs Gerard by his hair and slams him to the floor. The hooker goes to scream, but something's being shoved in his mouth and then taped shut before he has the chance.

Leo stands over him and crouches down. He tangles his long, beefy fingers in Gerard's hair and hoists his head off the ground. "Hey." He said, smirking menacingly

Gerard blinked his eyes. One... Two... Three times until finally the tears came.

 _Fuck_ , he thought, _I'm fucked_.


	13. I'm Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quick update! But that's how it's always suppose to be, right?
> 
> This is my favourite chapter yet and as I was writing it I literally had "Falling in Love Will Kill You" By Wrongchilde (ft Gerard Way) on repeat. It really sets the mood for this whole thing :)
> 
> Anyway... Enough of me.Go read! Enjoy <3

Leo Rush is sitting at the table he and his buddies were occupying with his hands folded on top of it.

Hex, runt of the group, was ranting about how his tattoo artist did a shit job on his latest tatt and quite frankly Leo wasn't interested in his ramblings.

He kept shooting glances at the back of Gerard's head, fuming and snarling.

Kash, blondie of the group, caught on quickly and slapped Leo on the back. "Forget about him for right now, man... He ain't worth the buzz kill. You could always get him another time... Especially when M's guy isn't around."

Leo swatted Kash's hand away from him and he leaned back in his seat, adverting his attention to his beer on the table.

"He thinks he won." Leo growled and Zen, psycho of the group, laughed loudly, banging his fist on the table.

"You know damn well that two dollar whore doesn't think he won. From the looks of it Iero won. He's got his hands all over the slut." He jutted his chin forward in the direction of Frank and Gerard who were downing shots and giggling like teenage girls who just had their first margarita.

Leo pressed his hand to his chin in thought and he shrugged. "I know a few things about Iero. First of all: the guys a pussy. He's not like the rest of A7X. He's probably not even fucking M's whore... So... Technically I can still make my move."

Jester, heavy weight of the group, made a sound and everyone glared at him. 

"I just got an idea." He said, still holding everyone's attention. "Go hide out in the bitches bathroom and I'll make sure he goes in when he's gottah piss."

Leo sighed, unamused by the not so well thought out plan and crossed his tattooed arms over his bulky chest. 

"And how do we know he'll go alone?" Hex asked, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know, dumbass. If he doesn't go alone then I won't tell him to use the girls room." Jester said; his tone annoyed.

"Right, sure, let's head there now... Gottah make it look like we left." Leo stood up quickly and grabbed his leather jacket off the back of his chair.

"See you later." Zen saluted Jester as they all headed to the back of the bar, in the direction of the bathroom.

Jester reclined in his seat, quietly watching Frank and Gerard as they slump drunkenly on one other. He hears Gerard announce he has to use the bathroom and then Frank volunteering to take him.

He sees Gerard shake his head and then Frank smile weakly, almost like a worried parent and then turn back to the bar.

Gerard gracefully stumbles to the back and that's when Jester gets up and follows him...

He grabs the little guy by his ladies leather jacket and he's shouting, high pitched and nasally.

Jester shouted back, "What'dyou think you're doin'?!"

* * *

Leo still has Gerard's head up off the ground and he spits against his stuffed cheek.

"Not so tough now, huh?" He laughed quietly and the guys join in, laughing maniacally.

Gerard squirmed, forcing his head away, Leo grabs him by his chin and centers his face.

"Uh, uh, uh... I've got a bone to pick with you. Don't ignore me."

Gerard pushed his hands against Leo's cheek, but one of the assholes standing around yanks his arms behind his back and duck tapes them together.

"Don't half ass it, man. Shit." Zen said, shoving Hex aside so he can restrain Gerard himself. "Like that... See? Damn, have you ever done this before?"

Hex shot Zen a dirty look and scoffed. "I'm not you. I don't go around raping and beating people on a daily basis."

"Guys, shut the fuck up and help me get this bitch on his feet." Leo said, letting go of Gerard's hair, causing him to hit his head on the ground.

Gerard groaned loudly behind the tape and flipped himself onto his back.

The room was spinning and his legs felt like jelly, numb and weak.

He was so fucking drunk. The three shots were finally hitting him and he was missing Frank, hoping he'd come look for him and find him before anything worse happened.

He was now being hoisted up and pushed against the bathroom sink.

He cringed when his hip bone smashed against it and he squeezes his eyes shut tightly when his reflection is present.

He didn't want to look at himself. He was too pitiful and embarrassing to take in.

"I'm going first." Leo said, pulling his jeans down past his thighs.

All the guys whined and complained, but Leo's ignoring them, holding his dick in one hand while the other shoves Gerard's skinny jeans down, just below his ass.

"See that guys?" Leo smirked, spreading apart Gerard's ass cheeks aggressively; his pointer finger prods him and Gerard cringes. "Fucking raw."

The guys all huddle around, gazing at Gerard's ass like they found the holy grail.

Gerard thrashed momentarily, causing him to slip and fall back against Leo, but the bigger man grabbed him roughly by his hips and slammed him against the sink again.

"Fucking bitch. Stay still!" Leo growled; his chapped lips against Gerard's ear as he startsed to press himself against Gerard's entrance.

In that moment Gerard really hoped Frank would be his worried, over protective self and come save him...

Leo pounded into him without remorse and now Gerard's eyes were locked into his reflection. He can see the bigger man in the mirror too, pursing his lips and hissing out in pleasure.

Gerard's experiencing a whole 'nother level of discomfort. Leo's dick is one of the biggest and thickest Gerard has ever taken and right now he's taking it raw. The burn was not going to go away for a long fucking time.

"Oh, fuck, I-I guess you are pretty fucking tight... Fuck, that's a shocker. You used to be so loose. Did M sew your ass up?" Leo grunted in between moans and Gerard just blinked back tears and swallowed the dry lump in his throat.

The other guys are watching intently, looking at Gerard's face and listening to him breathe.

It's turning them on and Gerard feels sick because this isn't the first time he's been in a situation like this before...

He needed a damn line and another shot. It's the only way he can get through these sorts of fiascos.

* * *

Frank looked around the bar, sighing to himself. Gerard was taking a long time in the bathroom...

He'd been gone for nearly ten minutes and Frank was starting to get worried.

He didn't want to get up and go after him though. What if he was just taking a shit? Gerard would get mad at him and tell him he's not a kid and then he'll ask Frank if he could shit in peace. 

Frank didn't want to have to respond to a question like that because the answer was going to be something Gerard didn't want to hear.

Frank thrummed his fingers on top of the bar and sighed for thee billionth time. He was about to give up and go check on Gerard. 

He was too drunk and his nerves couldn't handle the fucking suspense. It was literally killing him. He was having severe heart palpitations.

He quickly jumped off the stool and headed to the back. He rushed to the mens room and pushed the door open.

"Gerard...?"

* * *

Jester could see that Frank was becoming uneasy... He took that as the cue and hopped up from his seat and started to the women's bathroom.

He kicked the door open and nearly laughed at the sight.

They had the hooker against the sink and they were lined up, waiting for their turn, behind Kash, who was having a go with him.

Gerard's head was slumped into the sink and his pants were pooled around his ankles.

He looked a wreck, but at least they kept his shirt and leather jacket on. The poor thing would have been freezing.

"Guys... Iero's huffin' and puffin'. Time to jet." Jester said loudly, gaining his friends attention.

Kash is the only one not paying attention, he's got his left hand around Gerard's flaccid cock and his other implanted on his pale, pudgy hip.

Gerard grunted behind the gag, lifting his head and adverting his attention to Jester with dead, teary, eyes.

Jester doesn't acknowledge him, he watches Leo grab his things and slap Kash on the ass.

"Hurry it up. Time to go." He said and right on time Kash groans like a ghost as he pulls out of Gerard and cums on his lower back.

Gerard whined loudly and hits the floor, on his knees, once Kash peels his chest off of his back.

"Shit... Damn, why did I have to be the last one?" The blonde complained, fastening his jeans.

Leo glared at him and then looked down at Gerard who was now lying completely on the ground; his jeans still pooled around his ankles.

He laughed and then shrugged. "Beats me, but let's go. We'll just leave him here. Iero can handle the rest."

They all laugh and start to pile out of the bathroom. Gerard watched them go, tears streaming down his face and his head pressed against the cold tiled floor.

He was fucking pissed. He didn't want to be left like that. Frank was going to have to pick him up off the ground and fucking clean him up... He was distraught. Frank was never going to let him go anywhere by himself now.

He's alone, lying on the bathroom floor, for about three minutes... A million and one thoughts running through his head.

All scenarios involving Frank.

* * *

Frank's standing in the mens bathroom, looking around. All the stalls are vacant and he frowns.

"Gerard... You in here?" He asked again, foolishly.

Clearly he wasn't. No one was.

Frank pushed open the bathroom door and stepped out. He looked at the girls restroom door across and furrowed his brows.

 _Maybe he went in there_? Frank pondered, starting to push it open.

" _Mmm'ahhh!_ "

He paused for a second once he heard something... It sounded like a muffled shout and he stepped back a bit, readying his ears to hear it again...

" _Mmm'ahhh!_ "

There it was again. It was coming from the girls restroom.

He quickly pushed open the bathroom door and stormed in.

"Aw, fuck! You gottah be fucking kidding me!" Frank shouted, throwing his arms in the air.

There goes Gerard on the floor, bound and gagged, blinking up at him with mascara and eyeliner streaking down his eyes. His pants were all the way down to his ankles and his hair was all fucked up. He had a few scrapes and his cheek was slightly bruised.

Frank hurried to the man and pulled him upright, by his arm, and quickly ripped the duck tape off of his mouth.

He screamed behind whatever the fuck was stuffed in his mouth and then hacked it out.

Frank frowned, watching Gerard gasp and cough. He felt fucking terrible. The poor guy looked like shit.

"What the fuck happened?" Frank slurred.

He already painted a picture in his head. There's cum everywhere and Gerard's pants are rolled down... He was raped and by the looks of it more than one guy was involved. But he needed to hear it from Gerard to actually confirm his insinuations.

"F-fucking... L-Leo and his... His douchebag f-friends." He stammered, looking down at the balled up black bandana on the floor that had been in his mouth.

Frank sighed. He hated being right about these kinds of things. He pulled his switchblade out of his back pocket and cut the tape binding Gerard's hands together.

His wrists were raw and bruising. Frank stared at them as Gerard rubbed the skin there.

"I knew I should have--"

"Don't! Don't you fucking dare say anything." Gerard rasped, starting to pull his jeans back up.

Frank watched him and then helped him stand.

"Don't fucking touch me. I can get up on my own--" 

He stumbled a few steps forward after his statement. He feels a burning, shooting pain go up his ass and lower back and he whines out and winces at the same time.

Frank caught him before he can hit the ground and wrapped his arm protectively around the slightly taller mans waist.

"I've got you... C'mon. Let's go... We'll go to my place, okay? I'll call M and I'll have him take care of those guys for you, yeah?" Frank said, helping Gerard out of the bathroom.

The hooker just nodded stiffly and wrapped his arm around Frank's shoulder. 

* * *

They quickly hurry out the bar. Frank shouted his farewell to Darren. The bartender tells them to drive safe and Franks replied, saying that he sobered up and that he just has to take Gerard home.

Gerard ducked his head against Frank's shoulder and whimpered all the way to the car.

When they get to it Frank pulled the passenger door open for Gerard and helped him in, slowly and gently. He looks Gerard in the face and closely examined his eyes, lips and nose. The inside of his nose looked dry and irritated, almost as if he'd snorted coke. His eyes were closed, but his lids were red and the veins stood out like purple and blue streams. Frank wanted to give him chap stick, water... Lip gloss even. Anything to make his lips look less chapped. He couldn't stop himself from feeling so fucking bad for the guy. His life fucking sucked.

That's when Gerard's eyes blinked open. He caught Frank observing him and he frowned at him. "Stop staring at me." he said, slipping his seat belt on with shaky hands.

Frank turned away with a sigh and a head shake. He closed the passenger door and started to make his way to the drivers side. He hopped in and accidentally slammed the door shut a little too hard.

Gerard jumped in his seat and released a loud whimper.

"Sorry... Sorry about that." Frank said, going to touch Gerard's knee, but the man flinched and swatted Frank's hand away.

"Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch... I swear to god if you try to touch me again I'll rip your fucking throat out with my teeth." He said loudly, stiff and jittery, but nonetheless getting his point across.

He was pressed completely against the passenger window; his knees hitting the door and Frank just shook his head again and started his car. He really couldn't snap back at Gerard at this point. 

Frank wondered if he should just take Gerard to his apartment or bring him to his house... He decided, quickly, that it would be best if he brought Gerard to his house.

There was tons of food in his fridge and a fucking coffee machine that made enough for more than 5 people.

He knew Gerard would like that...

"I just want you to know..." Frank started, wiping a tear from his face that he didn't even feel was coming until it rolled down his cheek.

Gerard sniffled loudly and nibbled on his bottom lip. "What." He croaked, looking out the window to hide his wet, teary face from Frank.

Frank could see his reflection in the mirror though. Gerard's bottom lip was trembling and tears were pouring down his cheeks. He could hear it in Gerard's voice... He didn't have to see his face to know he was terrified.

"I'm not going to ever let that happen to you... No one is going to fucking hurt you like that again, okay?" Frank said, making left turn after left turn.

Gerard blinked hard and wiped his nose up with the palm of his hand. "No." He said, sitting forward now. "Don't make me believe that... Please, don't try to make me fucking happy. I can't take it anymore."

Frank was at a red light now. He quickly unbuckled his seat belt and Gerard turned to the sound of the clicking noise.

"Believe me." Frank said harshly, completely facing Gerard in his seat now.

Gerard shook his head frantically and folded his lips closed. 

No... No... Not again.

"Believe me." Frank said again, harsher. He pushed open his car door.

Gerard's eyes widened at this and gasped when the light turned green.

The cars behind them start to honk spontaneously. Frank turned on his emergency blinkers and hopped out and flicked them all off. 

"Go around motherfuckers!" He screamed, going to Gerard's side of the car.

Gerard just sat there, sobbing quietly and wiping his eyes.

Frank pulled open the door and stood in front of him, putting his hands on top of Gerard's which were numbly folded on his lap.

Gerard went to pull away again, but Frank stilled him. "Look at me. I'm right here. I'm right in front of you."

Gerard turned to face the other direction now, but Frank grabs his chin and centered his face.

"Don't make me..." Gerard cried, squeezing his eyes shut. "Don't make me happy."

When the feeble, beaten words leave Gerard's equally damaged mouth Frank couldn't help himself. He jumped into the car, on top of Gerard and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. He could feel every bone in the mans body. Every bruise, every scar... He could smell the blood on his skin and the lacklustre in his sweat.

Frank wanted his own aroma to rub off on him... He wanted Gerard to feel what he had to offer and he wanted it to be all of him.

Gerard was trembling now, breaking out in convulsions and child-like sobs. He needed to get it out so it could stay that way.

"I love you, okay? I love you like I love anyone and everyone I love." Frank whispered. The sound of honking cars drive past them, but they're not listening.

Gerard snapped. He snapped violently and shoved Frank against the windshield. "Fuck you!" He screamed, pounding his scraped fists on the mans chest. "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" 

Frank took it all. He pressed his hands on the dash behind him and allowed himself to be Gerard's punching bag. He wanted him to release most of the anger he had building inside him since he was never allowed to.

"That's it... Keep going, baby. Don't stop." Frank winced as Gerard kicked his shin. 

"I fucking hate you! I fucking hate all of you!" 

People driving by where now watching them. Frank noticed an SUV as it pulled up next to them.

Gerard's still in freak-out mode and Frank wrapped his arms around him so no one would stare at him.

"Uh, is he okay?" The middle aged man asked, rolling down his window. "Should I call 911?"

Frank stuck his hand out the window and shook his head quickly. "No, no, no. We're fine. We're good. Just go. We're okay."

The man looked at Gerard again and then back to Frank. "Are you sure?"

Frank went to reply, but Gerard's fist hits him in the nose and he bashes his head on the windshield.

"F-fuck you! You're a fucking liar! You fucking mother fucker! You liar!" Gerard screamed and the man in the SUV jumped out of his car and pulled Frank out of his, away from Gerard.

"I said we're fucking fine!" Frank screamed, wriggling out of the mans grasp. "He's fine. Just go, okay?!"

The man, shoved Frank back and looked at Gerard, who was gasping for air with his his hands in his hair. He was slouched forward, seatbelt still on so he wasn't falling out of his seat.

"He doesn't fucking look okay, man. You gottah take this guy to the hospital." The older man stated, going to Gerard's side.

"Yo, you okay? Is this guy giving you problems?!" The man shouted, putting his hands on Gerard's shoulders and pushed him back in his seat.

Gerard's head lolled back and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. He ran out of fuel and was sweating like he had just gotten back from a seven mile run.

"What the fuck is he on?!" The man turned to Frank now, watching him frantically rake his fingers through his hair.

"We've been through some shit okay? He's drunk and we got into an argument." Frank said, feeling blood trail down from his nostril.

He didn't bother to wipe it away. It dripped to the floor and Frank looked down at it.

"Did you fucking hit him?" 

Everyone driving past them now were rubber necking so hard Frank thought their heads would roll out their windows.

"Dude, look at me, look at him. He's fine. I'm the one bleeding."

"He doesn't fucking look fine. I should call the cops, man." He pulled his cell out of his back pocket.

"Don't fucking call the cops! We're leaving now. He's fine. I'm taking him home. He's going to sleep it off." Frank said and the man stopped tampering with his cell. "Thanks for your concern, but I think I can handle my own _boyfriend_."

The man looked at Gerard who's eyes were peered open and his fingers were going through his own sweat soaked hair, almost sensually. "Fine." The man said and pushed his cell back into his pocket.

"Fucking get him some water and put him to bed ASAP before he dies, man. Seriously. He looks like shit." He started to go back to his SUV, glaring at Gerard who was still groaning and touching himself.

Frank nodded sternly and got into the drivers seat of his car. "Yeah, I know. Thanks... Bye." Frank waved and the man waved back. He drove down the road until he made a right turn and disappeared.

Frank sighed loudly and grabbed a tissue from his glove box. Gerard hadn't responded to Frank pushing his knees apart, instead he breathed out and relaxed into the seat, shifting slightly.

Frank wiped his nose after closing the box and then tossed the bloody napkin into his cup holder. He turned off the emergency lights and drove down the road once the light turned green.

The whole ride to his house Gerard mumbled, groaned, whimpered and moaned.

Frank thought he heard him say something... Something that sounded like, ' _I'm sorry_ ', but it couldn't have been...

Frank sighed, deeply, and grazed his fingers over the bruise forming on his own jaw.

Gerard had nothing to be sorry about.


	14. Fuck Me

_Gerard could hear the footsteps nearing... Nearing his bedroom. They pace back and forth at first, until it suddenly stops, and then there's quiet raps at his door. He already knows who it is. The knock is distinct. It's the same one every time._

_Gerard hopped out of bed, glaring at his reflection on his dresser mirror. He fixed his hair and the smudge of eyeliner under his eyes. He wanted to look presentable for the man behind his door. He wanted to be wanted by him._

_"Coming." He called out quietly, adjusting his loose fitted blouse._

_He pursed his lips at his reflection and then tucked a lock of his dark, clean hair behind his ear._

_'Don't fuck it up', he thought to himself, 'here's your fucking chance'._

_He pulled the door open, slowly, causing it to creak slightly. He blinked up at the blond man and smiled at him sheepishly. He looked like a work of art... A strong, honourable man. Everything Gerard wanted to be, but knew he couldn't._

_"Hey, buddy... I know it's late, but I figured you were awake. You always are." He stepped into the teenagers room and gave it a quick look over. It was clean... Very clean. Like always._

_Gerard shut the door behind him and nodded. "Yeah, playing so much WoW lately. After school work of course." He giggled, bouncing his shoulders slightly._

_The blond man swayed a bit and that's when Gerard noted he was drunk. He locked his door with that in thought and quickly rushed to his bed, smoothing it over._

_The older man took a seat next to him and pulled him into a hug. "I just wanted to tell you happy birthday again... Before it hits midnight... I'm so proud of you. Eighteen is a big deal. You're finally an adult."_

_Gerard melted against the man and inhaled his cologne scented shirt. He took the gesture and completely morphed it. The blond man wanted him... This was it. The moment he's been waiting for. Gerard knew he was just waiting until he turned eighteen._

_"T-thanks... Dad." He pulled back from the older man and looked up at him with giant saucer eyes. "I... I love you."_

_"I love you too, bud... You mean a great deal to me."_

_That's what he really wanted. It's all he ever wanted._

_Gerard's breath hitched in his throat. He allowed Eddie to slump against him... He can feel the older mans breath on the crook of his neck; his face pressing into Gerard's shoulder, causing the friction of his nose to slip Gerard's blouse down his dainty, pale shoulder._

_"Fuck... I'm so drunk, Gerard. I don't think I can make it to my bed." He slurred, moving his hands to either side of his stepson's thighs._

_Gerard's shaking now. He's not sure what he should do... He can feel Eddie's eyelashes fluttering on his neck and his lips slightly below his collarbone._

_Gerard whimpered, spreading his legs apart agonisingly slow._

_"D-Dad... I wanna.. P-Please." Gerard moaned, pressing his hands against the back of Eddie's head, raking his fingers through the mass of fine, blond hair._

_"... Fuck me..."_

* * *

Gerard suddenly woke up, soaking wet from sweat. His hair is matted to his face and his clothes... He isn't wearing any clothes. He doesn't even know where he is. That could only mean one thing... He blacked out.

He sat up in whoever's bed he was in and observed his surroundings. It was slightly dark--dim. There was a draft. He shivered violently and looked around for a shirt--anything.

Climbing out of the bed he quickly went to the dresser and pulled open the top drawer. He grabbed a plain black teeshirt and slipped it on. He then pulled open the second drawer and pulled out a pair of boxers. He slipped that on too.

He already knew why he was naked when he woke up. No one but himself undressed him. Every time he goes to bed drunk he always strips himself and sleeps in the nude. He didn't understand why he'd do it... But he sort of had a feeling it had something to do with M.

Gerard was turning to go back to the bed when the front door creaked open and a hand bunched into the back of his head, tangling in his hair and yanking him back.

He yelped loudly, but a hand landed on his mouth and then lips touched his ear.

"Shh! Shut up!" Franks voiced hissed.

Gerard didn't listen. He thrashed against the man and nearly hit his nose with the back of his head.

Frank pushed him onto the bed, still restraining him. "Gerard. Stop. Fucking stop... M's at the door. Four members of A7X are with him... I need you to fucking listen to me. Okay?!"

Gerard quickly calmed down and nodded quickly, whimpering underneath the smaller man.

"You're going to sit in here... Don't say a goddamned word... And when they ask for you I'm going to tell them you're asleep. Now, I know that isn't going to stop M. I know he's going to want to ask you questions." Frank continued to whisper in a harsh tone.

Gerard just continued to nod.

"I don't know if anyone gave him any information... Or if he's here to take you, but what I do know is you haven't done anything wrong. I'll try to clear your name and I won't let anyone hurt you. I made that promise... I'm going to keep it."

Gerard gave a final nod and when Frank released him he licked his dry lips and cleared his throat and looked the other man in the eyes.

"Did you have to pull my hair?" He asked, fixing the bunched up shirt he had on.

"... Just get into bed." Frank commanded and Gerard obeyed immediately. "And lock the door behind me."

Frank rushed out of the room, closing the door behind him before he started to make his way to his front door.

"Coming!" He shouted and pulled the door open before another knock resumed.

"Fucking finally." M growled, charging into the home. "The fuck took you so long? In the middle of fucking _my_ whore?"

The four other men entered as well, arms behind their backs and sunglasses perched on their faces. It was intimidating to say the least... Almost like they were part of the secret service. Also, Frank couldn't recognise them. They must've been Senior Shadows' men.

"Uh," Frank stammered, "no... He's asleep. I was in the bathroom when you started knocking."

M looked around Franks place, running his hands over the leather couch. 

"Asleep?" M asked, turning around. "Where? Your room?"

Frank swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head.

"Guest room."

M chuckled and rose his brows. "I don't know why you're so nervous... I did tell you you're allowed to fuck him whenever you wanted."

"I haven't. I don't want to." Frank said a little too harshly.

M chuckled again and clasped his hands together. "Not your type?"

"He's..." Frank trailed off, searching for the right words to use. "He's not ugly. I mean, he's just my _job_. I choose not to fuck him."

M pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah... Whatever. Just take me to him. I've got a few questions to ask him."

Frank nodded hard and started in the direction of the spare bedroom. M and his guys followed closely behind him.

"Here." Frank pointed at the door before knocking on it.

"C-coming!" Gerard shouted and M took a deep breath and cracked his knuckles before Gerard opened the door.

 _Fuck_ , Frank thought, _what the fuck is he going to do?_

The clicking sound of the door unlocking echoed around them and Frank sighed quietly as he watched it open slowly.

M pushed it all the way, causing Gerard to hit the floor.

"Fucking bitch!" M screamed, charging in. He picked Gerard up off the ground by his hair and threw him on the bed.

Surprisingly, Gerard didn't make a sound. He sprawled out on the bed and took deep, harsh breaths... He was bracing himself.

"What did I fucking tell you?! What did I fucking warn you about?!" M screamed, crawling over Gerard's trembling frame.

Frank stood there, watching M roughly grab Gerard's chin, centering his face, as his other hand started to pull the shorts, Gerard's wearing, down his hips aggressively.

"M." Frank called out, causing M to immediately stop what he was doing and crane his neck to glare at Frank.

"What?!" He barked, aggravation etched on his face.

Frank backed up a bit, into one of M's guys. He looked back and stared up at him apologetically.

The man didn't even acknowledge him.

"What exactly did he do? He's been with me this entire time. He didn't do anything wrong." Frank said, turning to pay attention to M now.

M moved off of Gerard and climbed out of bed. He started over to Frank and stared down at him intimidatingly.

"Stickin' up for him?" M asked, whispering.

Gerard sat up on the bed, slowly and gently, disheveled and light headed. He watched as Frank and M stood face to face.

"I... I'm just wondering what he did...? He did everything he was supposed to." Frank said calmly.

"Mad called. Told me Gerard misbehaved... Said he wasn't interactive and that he kneed him in the balls." M said, looking back at Gerard who was nibbling on his bottom lip, backing up against the headboard.

Frank stared at Gerard and frowned.

"How do you know Mad's telling the truth?" Frank asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "He could be lying."

M made a sound from the back of his throat and shrugged his shoulders.

"Gerard... Doll face. Did you hit your best client?" He asked, slowly approaching the man on the bed.

Gerard whimpered quietly and nodded his head stiffly.

"Why?" M asked.

Gerard adverted his eyes to his lap and sniffled a bit. "H-he... He was choking me. I almost blacked o-out."

M laughed loudly and climbed back onto the bed. Gerard laid back quickly and closed his eyes.

"Did you think you were going to die in that place? With Mad's hands around your pretty, little throat?" M was now pulling Gerard's shorts down completely and threw them off the bed, landing in front of Frank.

Frank gritted his teeth and watched M grab Gerard's arms above his head, holding his wrists together. He could see Gerard trembling... He can hear him whimpering as M flipped him on his front.

Frank couldn't hold it in anymore... He stepped forward.

"He was raped last night... By Leo Rush and his crew." He said and silence followed after. "They attacked him when he went to the bathroom... They waited until he was alone."

M turned to look at Frank again. He stared at him intensely and then looked at the back of Gerard's head.

"This true doll face?"

Gerard nodded, still trembling.

M climbed off Gerard and tossed the blankets over his naked bottom and then cracked his knuckles.

"Well... It looks like I've got a job of my own today." He said, starting to walk out of the room.

Frank followed behind, along with the four other men, and wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"What're you gonna' do?" Frank asked and halted when M stopped in front of the door. 

He turned around with a wicked smile etched on his face. "Tell doll face to stay awake. I'm gonna' bring a nice present for him."

Frank was confused by that. He rose his brows and blinked, dumbfounded. What the fuck was he talking about? 

"Present?" Frank echoed under his breath, watching M walk through the front door after one of his guys pulled it open for him.

M didn't respond. He stormed out of the house and down the walkway, an extra skip in his step, hands buried deep in his back pockets as the four men followed a few feet behind him.

Frank stared in awe as a black SUV drove down the street and stopped in front of M. The door was pulled open and M hopped inside.

The front window of the drivers side is rolled down and the man looks in Frank's direction and salutes him.

It's the man who pulled up next to Frank's car last night when Gerard was flipping out.

Franks mouth is open agape, staring in shock. Hands shaking by his side with his palms slick with sweat.

"...Fuck me..." He muttered, watching the SUV drive off.

* * *

Gerard got out of bed and pulled the boxers M took off of him back on. He leaned against the door frame and pushed his hand through his mussed up hair as he inhaled and exhaled deeply. He heard everything M said and he already knew what the man was going to bring back. Frank didn't though, but he was going to find out soon enough.

Frank shut the front door, scratching the back of his head and. He turned around and jumped when his eyes landed on Gerard.

"Ah, you scared me... Uh, you okay?" Frank asked; his eyes looking directly into Gerard's.

Gerard shrugged and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.

"I feel pretty shitty... I mean, I should be use to it, ya know?" He said quietly. "I don't want to fear for my life every goddamn day. I really thought M was going to fucking kill me."

Frank blinked at him and nodded slowly. "Y-yeah... I know. Me too. I freaked out."

Gerard sniffed and pushed himself off the door frame. "I can't remember much from last night... Well, except the rape. I see a bruise on your cheek. Did I...?"

Frank touched his cheek involuntarily and shook his head. "Uh, nah... I mean, yeah, but it doesn't hurt. I let you anyway. You were pretty out of it."

Gerard blushed, embarrassed, and walked up to Frank and examined the bruise. "I really am sorry... I just. I black out and I know that isn't an excuse, but what Leo did to me... And the liquor in my system... I turn into one of _them_."

Frank lowered his hand from his face and moved it to Gerard's shoulder. "No... You aren't one of _them_. And don't ever be sorry. I wanted you to get that anger out of your system. You needed a punching bag and I volunteered." 

Gerard shuddered under Frank's hand, but leaned into the touch nonetheless. 

"I don't want to hurt someone who's done so much for me." He whispered, pressing his chin against Frank's shoulder once he closed the gap between them. "You didn't deserve that."

Frank sighed and wrapped his arms around Gerard's hips in a hug.

"Well... Someone did."

Gerard pulled away slowly and looked into Frank's eyes. Their faces merely an inch or two apart. Gerard blinked, looking at Frank's lips and back to his eyes again.

"Y-yeah..." He whispered and then Frank inched closer to him, their lips pressed against one another's. Not moving, not pecking... Just touching.

And then Gerard's the first to open his mouth. Frank shortly after and now they're making out, grasping onto one another like long lost lovers. They stumble back, still making out, into the living room and onto to the couch. Tongues exploring each other's mouth, eager and longing. Frank's hands are traveling down to Gerard's thighs now... Massaging them sensually.

"W-wait." Gerard gasped, forcing himself to detach his lips from Frank's. "I... I need to tell you something."

Frank looked confused again, even a bit shocked. "What is it?"

"It's about... Well, remember when I told you how my dad--stepdad kicked my ass because I tried sucking him off?" Gerard said, pushing his hands into his lap and adverted his eyes to Frank's tattooed knuckles.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Well..." Gerard said, haltingly. "Before you get into anything with me I thought you should know the truth."

"What truth?" Frank asked, quiet and stern. His eyes looked dark, but his expression read compassion and reason.

"We... Sort of... Well, I did get to, uh, suck him off... H-he. And I convinced him to f-fuck me." 

Frank closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He exhaled, pushing his hand to his forehead and smoothed out his eyebrows tentatively.

"Um..." Frank trailed off. "Uh, wow. Um, okay." He was at a lost for words... But seriously, what the fuck was he supposed to say? Ew? Gross? No, he couldn't.

"I... He fucked me... For a few months and then he grew a conscious... Felt guilty or whatever and stopped visiting me in my bedroom while my mom was asleep... And then. I, uh... I kind of flipped out."

Gerard was inching further away from Frank now, looking like a frightened child. Frank knew why he was coming clean about this. He wanted everything out in the open. He wanted Frank to know what he was getting himself into.

"... What happened?" Frank pressed, moving his hand around Gerard's wrist. He tugged him closer and pressed his free hand against the nape of his neck.

Gerard pushed Frank's hand on his neck away and sighed, shaking his head slowly.

"The next day..." He paused and wiped away the tear rolling down his face. "I... Got so drunk... I went out with a few guys from school. Guys I fooled around with and I did coke for the first time. I was so strung out... I don't even remember which guys I slept with. Must've been all of them. But anyway, they dropped me off home after, luckily, and I went to the back door--Eddie always left it unlocked for me on the nights I went out, but this time it was fucking locked."

Frank can see where this story was going... Well, sort of. He just knew it wasn't going to end pretty.

* * *

_Gerard slammed on the door, thrashing his side into it over and over again. He was going to fucking puke and he was going to fucking pass out._

_He just wanted in and all he can think about is how Eddie really fucked him over. No late night visits... No acknowledgement... No unlocked back doors._

_"Let me in! Eddie, let me in! You fucking pig! You fucking pedophile, let me in." He pressed his face against the cold door and panted like a sick, dying dog against it. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that." He wheezed._

_Suddenly, the door is unlocked and yanked open causing Gerard to crash to the floor, gasping for air._

_"Are you trying to wake up the whole goddamn neighbourhood?" Gerard shrieked loudly when Eddie's hand buried itself in his hair and yanked him off the floor. "Get up. Get the fuck up."_

_Gerard's mother is coming down stairs, squinty eyed. "What the hell is going on down here?" She asked, fixing her robe._

_"He's fucking drunk. Look at him." Eddie sneered, pushing Gerard against the wall._

_Gerard couldn't stand up right. He pushed his hands out and grabbed Eddie's arm to keep himself balanced._

_"And high." The eighteen year old slurred. "So fucking high."_

_Donna gasped and looked at her son. He was pressing up against Eddie, trying to move his hands on the taller mans shoulder, massaging him there sensually. But it just looked sloppy and desperate._

_"Gerard... Are you fucking kidding me?" Eddie growled, shoving the young man back against the wall aggressively. "High!? Who the fuck gave you drugs?"_

_Gerard rubbed his hand down his face, smiling sheepishly. He swayed against the wall, giggling. "Everyone... Everyone gave me drugs... Guess what I gave them in return? Guess what I owed them?" Gerard hiccuped as the sentence left his mouth._

_Eddie glared at him, tight lipped and nostrils flared. He clenched his jaw and lowered his fists to his side, clutching them tightly._

_Gerard sniffed loudly with his middle finger pressed against one of his nostrils._

_"I snorted so much coke and sucked so much dick I can still taste it in the back of my throa--"_

_Gerard was abruptly cut off by a loud 'smack' across his face and then Donna's gasp following behind it._

_"Shut your fucking disgusting, whore mouth. Right now." Eddie said, low and stern. "Go up stairs... Pack your shit... And get the fuck out."_

_Gerard's still leaning against the wall, clutching onto his face... The welt was already forming under the palm of his hand. Burning, stinging... Sobering. He looked at his mother and then back to Eddie._

_"I won't say a goddamn thing... Your secret's safe with me." Gerard whispered, audible enough for Eddie to only hear him and then rushed past him, banging his shoulder against his side._

_He hurried upstairs, avoiding his mothers eyes and entered his bedroom. He slammed the door shut and fell to his knees on the floor. His eyes were blurry with tears and his breathing was harsh as he attempted to hold back his sobs. He couldn't. He sat against his bedroom door and slammed his head back against it._

_"Fuck." He cried._

_"...Fuck me..."_


	15. Discontinued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WA-BAM! Check out the banner I made for this fic, guys! Ain't she purty?
> 
> <3

 

Gerard was hunched over; his elbows resting on his knees. He's crying hysterically after his confession. He never told anyone the truth. Not even M... He's only told lies. The same lie as if it were the truth... And to be perfectly honest even Gerard started to believe it. He shuddered violently as Frank rubbed, small soothing circles against his back. He's shushing him just like a nurturing mother would to a distressed child.

The tremors won't stop though... Too comfortable in his body to leave. Gerard fists his hands in his own hair and tugs aggressively. 

"I'm so disgusting." He choked out, blinking down at the ground, allowing the tears to pile up on his feet. "H-he's everything to me. I still think about him all the time."

"Shh... No, it's okay. I understand. He means a lot to you. He's who you look up to and he's the one who looked after you." Frank said quietly, still rubbing Gerard's back soothingly.

Out of no where Gerard sits up quickly and pushes himself against Frank, who reacts immediately. He's straddling the smaller man and burying his face into the crook of his neck. Frank's arms are around his waist, pulling him closer.

"I thought about him when I was with Brian... I think about him when I'm with M." Gerard sniffled, pressing his hands against the back of Frank's head.

Frank stiffened a bit, but nodded nonetheless. "Were you thinking about him when you kissed me?" He asked, whispering. He didn't want to even ask that question. It just came out... Like vomit.

Gerard shifted in his lap and he whimpered, shaking his head slowly. "N-no... Never when I'm with you. I lo... Like you."

Frank heard the slip. Gerard almost told him he loved him, but it was probably a mistake. 

"I like you too." Frank said back, tightening his hold on the mans hips. "I don't want M hurting you... Or A7X getting their fucking hands on you. It fucking drives me crazy."

Gerard pulled back to look Frank's expression over. He'd never seen anyone look so worried... And ambitious at the same time. It was weird. The feeling he was having was so strange. Frank genuinely fucking cared and not once has he even tried to betray Gerard's broken trust.

"Then let's go." 

Frank blinked hard when the words leave Gerard's mouth. Go? Was that even possible...?

"Let's run away together. If we stay here they're just going to keep raping me and if they find out about us they'll make you watch. They'll make you watch it every single time it happens. And they'll laugh." Gerard said in a hushed whisper. Frank was scared now. Fear was the only thing rushing through him. Whatever boner he was sort of sporting was now gone. His arms were to his sides and his eyes were adverted to the left with his head tipped down. He was purposely avoiding Gerard's manic eyes. 

"Did you hear me, Frank?" Gerard grabbed his chin and centered his head so that he had no choice but to stare at Gerard. "We can leave this fucking place... We can leave this city..."

He was grinding slightly on Frank's lap, putting his hands on the mans narrow shoulders. 

Frank inhaled and exhaled loudly. Gerard did the same and he can feel himself getting hard again. Harder than before.

"We can get a place together... Get jobs..." Gerard's grinding gets dirty; his hands start to slide down Franks chest, unbuttoning the buttons like a skilled lap dancer.

"B-but..." Frank lifted his hips slightly, gaining more Friction from Gerard's ass. "Where... Where would we go?" He would be lying if he said the idea wasn't tempting.

Gerard got the last button done and opened up Frank's shirt completely. "Cali... I have a friend over there. He works in a book shop. He can get us jobs."

Frank swallowed the lump in his throat as Gerard's cold hands explored his naked chest. The plan danced around in his head... He was entertained by the thought, but Gerard didn't know that Frank had 100k sitting in his bank account... Half of which belonged to A7X. 

"You really like me that much? That you'd leave this place, far away from Eddie... Away from Mikey?" Frank asked, despite Gerard's lips on his neck, sucking and licking. He was leaving marks... Small red and pink marks.

Gerard stopped what he was doing and Frank sighed as the cold air hit his saliva slicked throat. The pale man stared at him, quietly and unmoving. Frank felt awkward as Gerard blinked at him mechanically.

Then, he looked down at Frank's chest and sighed. "I'm not allowed to see them either way. If I go... Maybe. Just maybe Eddie'll miss me."

 _Weird answer_ , Frank thought. But he understood completely.

"You think he'll feel guilty?" Frank asked and Gerard nodded instantly.

"If he felt guilty about losing me then that would mean he actually fucking loves me... He'll regret sending me away and he'll wanna'... H-he'll want me back, Frank. But I'll reject him... How he rejected me. He'll feel how I feel every single fucking day." Gerard was panting now, getting himself worked up. His hands were down to Franks pants now, touching his belt.

"Is that the plan?" Frank asked and Gerard nodded, fidgeting with the belt.

"Are you in?" Gerard got the belt loose and tugged it off aggressively. The zipper on Frank's pants are next and Gerard pulls it down quickly.

Frank leaned back against the sofa, giving space between his and Gerard's bodies. He didn't want to say no... Even though that was his answer.

"I'll think about it." He said sternly and Gerard smiled at him before sliding off of his lap and to the floor on his knees in front of him.

He said nothing as he pulled Frank out of his jeans and pressed his lips around him, tonguing the swollen head and taking it into his warm, wet mouth. Frank gasped, bringing his left hand against the top of Gerard's head and helped guide him to take his cock deeper. 

"F-fuck," he moaned, mouth open agape and his eyes heavy with lust. "W-why are you doing this?"

Gerard pulled off with a slick pop and blinked up at Frank like a deer caught in headlights. "Because I want you." He whispered, licking his lips afterwards. 

Frank gulped audibly and allowed himself to think back to M. "We shouldn't do this _now_. M could be back any second."

Gerard let go of Frank's shaft and took a deep breath... He was being denied again. "Fine." He whispered, taking a seat next to Frank on the couch.

Frank watched the man pout and cross his arms over his chest like a bratty child who didn't get what they wanted from the toy store.

"Gerard, listen... I just don't want it to be that kinda relationship. Eventually, yeah, but not like this... Ya know?" Frank said, fixing his pants after he tucked his cock;

"Y-yeah, no. I get it. I get it." Gerard dropped his arms from his chest, shaking his head. "You're not like all the other guys. You... You respect me. It's just really hard to adapt to... To someone not wanting me to suck their dick." He admitted and Frank pushed his hand to Gerard's shoulder and rubbed him their tenderly.

"Thanks. I'm glad you understand. I really do want you, but it's complicated. I can't talk about it now, because it isn't important." Frank said, standing up slowly.

Gerard watched him and frowned when Frank wasn't looking at him. The man really was perfect. So fucking cute and gentle and... And he smelled like home. 

His voice is what really does it for Gerard the most though. Unique and soft and affectionate. He wanted to hear Frank sound angry, hungry, dirty and deranged. He wanted Frank to be forceful, but passionate all at the same time. And he was, but Gerard wanted to hear it.

* * *

The door bell echoed throughout the entire house and Frank looks down at Gerard and gives him a worried look. "That's most likely M." He said, whispering.

Gerard nodded slowly and sighed. "Y-yeah... I'll be in the bedroom." He stood up and hurried down the hall to the guest bedroom.

Frank started for the front door and before he opened it he looked through the peephole and what he sees causes him to gasp.

"What the fuck?" Frank murmured to himself, pulling away from the door slightly.

M had a man with arms tied behind his back and a sack over his head. The man tied up looked like he could barely stand and when Frank pulled open the door M's throwing the bound _stranger_ to the floor.

"Okay," M started. "Where's Gerard? Get his ass out here." He looked around and then smiled when he saw the hooker emerge from the hallway.

Gerard's eyes went to the man on the floor and he gasped quietly and then adverted his attention to M.

"Baby... You didn't have to do this..." Gerard said, stepping over the man on the ground and went to M as he was beckoned over.

"But I wanted to... D'you wanna' do the honours?" M stepped further into the house and one of his men slammed the front door shut.

Frank kind of had a feeling who the guy on the floor was now... It was starting to make sense.

Gerard got down on his knees and slowly pulled the sack off. The room is filled with silence and Frank can hear his own heart beat pound uncontrollably.

The man on the floor is...

"Leo Rush." Frank said loudly and M clapped.

"Yeah! Good job Frank. I'm surprised you could still recognise him with all that blood on his face." M laughed. "Gerard... I found him at Brian's... They were snorting coke and I heard this piece of shit mention you. We busted in there. I shot and killed all those men who raped you, plus some. I spared Brian. He cooperated... And he gave us a ton coke."

Gerard was standing up, slowly, and looking at M with watery eyes. "M... I. I don't know what to say." 

Frank thought he sounded sad, but M took it another way.

"You don't have to say anything, Gee... You can do whatever you want with him. Fuck, you can rape him if you want. You can do what he did to you." M said and Frank saw Gerard cringe as M touched his hips.

"I don't want to stoop to his level." Gerard said and Frank thought it was a pretty good save... Better than just flat out saying: _No_. Especially to M.

"Right. I figured you'd say that." M said, pulling Gerard closer to him. The smaller mans back was to M's chest now. "I can have Paul here do it for you. Paul's a whole 9 1/2 inches big... That should be fun for little Leo Rush here, right?"

Gerard whimpered and nodded apprehensively.

"And while that's happening..." M trailed off, moving his hands to waistband of the shorts Gerard's wearing and starts to pull the down, slowly.

Frank watched closely and noticed how Gerard was semi hard... He knew it wasn't because of any of this. It was because of what they had done on the couch before they were interrupted... Before Frank denied him.

"I'm gonna' fuck you just the way you like it." M finished, licking the shell of Gerard's ear. "Really slow... And deep... Fucking gentle, doll face."

One of M's men step forward and pulls a tube of lube from his back pocket and hands it to M. He takes it and uses his other hand to pull his own jeans down urgently.

Gerard looked at Frank as M pressed him against the back of the couch. He closed his eyes as Frank just stood there... Stuck almost, and watched.

"See that, baby?" M groaned, sticking his lube slicked fingers near Gerard's face. "Nice and slick for you..."

Gerard nodded numbly and gripped the headrest of the couch. He closed his eyes when M's fingers started to trail down to his ass... Pulling apart his cheeks. He slips one in and Gerard bucks against him.

He pressed another one beside his index finger once Gerard was accustomed to it and started to fuck him gently with his digits.

"I hope this fucker didn't cause too much damage. We'll have to get you tested and checked... Karl, condom." M called out, pulling his fingers out of Gerard and suddenly a condom falls into his hand.

Frank stepped back into the hallway as he watched Paul pull down Leo's pants. He was screaming behind the gag now and looking up at M.

M was slipping the condom down his length and using his other hand to hold Gerard apart. He slipped in, slowly... Groaning and hissing.

Gerard's head is pressed against the couch, mouth open and whimpering.

Leo is still screaming behind the gag, louder this time because Paul was now pressing his bare cock against his ass, forcing himself through.

Between M and Gerard's moans and Leo's screaming and Paul's laughing Frank feels like his head's going to explode... He can't fucking take it.

He disappeared down the hall and stopped in front of his bedroom door. He can hear Gerard gasping in pleasure, begging M to hit his spot again...

 _He's acting_ , Frank said in his head, _he's not enjoying this_.

The moans keep coming. They keep pouring out of Gerard's mouth like a broken faucet.

Frank squeezed his eyes closed and pushed open his bedroom door. He slammed it shut behind him and locked it. He could still hear Gerard...

He went to his bed and sat down. He covered his ears with his hands, but he can still hear him...

"S-stop..." Frank whispered, grinding his teeth and clenching his jaw. "Shut up."

"Please stop." 

Frank fell back into bed and squeezed his eyes shut tighter. His hands are now roughly pushing against his ears and his heart is racing.

He can still hear Gerard moaning...

Suddenly, the knock on his door causes him to snap out of it. He jumped out of bed urgently and rushed to his door. He unlocked it and pulled it open.

"Finished." M said. "We're leaving."

Frank blinked dumbfounded and looked behind M. Gerard was no where to be seen.

"Oh, uh... Okay. I'll walk you out." He said and stepped ahead of M, towards the front of his house.

"Thanks." The taller man said.

"No problem." Frank nodded and pulled open the front door. He noticed M's guys were already outside, holding Leo Rush between them as they waited for M.

M stepped through the front door, slowly, and stopped midway. Frank frowned, confused, but immediately wiped the look off his face when M looked at him and spoke.

"Keep a closer eye on doll face. He gets raped again... By some fucking _shithead_ like Leo Rush... You'll get what he got, but worse. You understand me?" He whispered the end bit and Frank nodded sternly, gulping audibly.

"Good... See ya 'round."

Frank closed the door as soon as M stepped out completely and locked the door behind him... All three locks... And sighed loudly.

"Fucking hell..." He said to himself and wiped the sweat off his forehead.

Gerard quietly and slowly emerge from the guest bathroom, running his fingers through his sweat damped hair. He was sniffling rigorously and that noise is what caused Frank to turn around, jump scared.

"Sorry." Gerard whispered, laughing under his breath.

His pupils were dilated and his skin looked moist... Frank stared at him intently for what seemed like an eternity and he shook his head frantically, knocking himself out of his inspection trance. Gerard was clearly high. Frank didn't need to play Nancy Drew to figure that out.

"We gottah stop spookin' each other." He said and Gerard nodded, leaning against the wall as he giggled girlishly. "You hungry?"

He knows he should ask Gerard if he's okay, but in that moment Frank wanted nothing more than to just forget what just fucking happened in the middle of his home. That was the type of shit he didn't sign up for.

Gerard nodded again, this time without a creepy giggle and Frank smiled weakly at him and started for the kitchen.

He went to his pantry and looked over the selection of food... Pasta boxes, ravioli, cereal... More cereal. There was three bags of lays chips and a bulk box of Oreo's. Gerard stepped a few feet behind him and he gasped.

"No way!" He shouted and Frank looked back at him as he pulled out a pack of Oreo's. "Bulk? Are you serious, Frankie? You're an Oreo fiend!"

Frank laughed loudly and shook the Oreo pack in the air. "What?! A man's gotta have his favorite cookie by the pound!"

"Yeah? Like... Like do you really? I mean, won't you get sick of it?" Gerard rested his elbows on the kitchen island and watched Frank go through the fridge for a gallon of milk. "I use to eat Chocodiles all the time. I can't even smell them without barfing now."

Frank laughed again and grabbed two glass cups from his cupboard and sat them in front of Gerard. "I don't tire from things... Once I'm hooked it's for life." He said, looking into the other mans eyes. 

Gerard stared back with a brow quirked and a smirk. "That's good to know..." he said and then started nibbling on his bottom lip flirtatiously.

An unnecessary cloud of silence smothers them and Frank adverted his eyes back to the Oreo's and started opening them.

"Y-yeah... And about Chocodiles..." Frank whispered, grabbing a cookie. "They're discontinued." he said and dunked his Oreo into his glass of milk.


	16. Dreamworld

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -_-
> 
> Short & filler-ish, but at least we're getting to the root of Gerard's 'psychosis'.
> 
> He really is bananas, Guys.

 

_"Shhhh..."_

_Gerard's lashes fluttered as he moaned out quietly._

_"Keep quiet."_

_Gerard gasped and grinds down on Eddie's fingers. They're sliding in and out of him, scissoring him apart gently._

_"Do I have to put my hand over your mouth again?"_

_Gerard shook his head and whimpered._

_"Then be quiet. You're going to wake your mom up."_

_Eddie's fingers brushed against his spot and he moans out loudly, squealing almost, and Eddie's free hand flys to his mouth and covers it._

_"Gerard..." He said sternly, removing his fingers. "I know you can control yourself. Just stop it."_

_Gerard nodded and Eddie slowly removed his hand from his mouth._

_"I'm not even being that loud... Why are you being so paranoid? It's been a month and we haven't gotten caught." Gerard said, moving out from under the older man._

_"Yet." Eddie said sternly, scanning his eyes over his stepsons effeminate physique._

_Gerard rolled his eyes and pulled Eddie's oversized black tee shirt on. "We won't get caught. My mom's the most oblivious person I know."_

_Eddie sighed and shrugged. "Yeah..."_

_Gerard pulled a cigarette out from his nightstand and placed it between his lips. He didn't notice the absent look in Eddie's eyes. He never does._

_"I've got some news for you..." He pulled the unlit cigarette from Gerard's mouth and crushes it in between his fingers. "No fucking smoking. I hate that shit."_

_"Was that your news?" Gerard laughed, moving into the older mans lap. He kisses Eddie on his lips and then trails down to his jaw and throat. "Because I already knew that." He giggled in between kisses._

_Eddie pressed his hands on Gerard's shoulders and pushed him back slightly._

_"No..." He said quietly, looking into the younger mans eyes intensely._

_"Then... What is it?"_

_Eddie's hands go to Gerard's hips and he massaged him there like he's trying to console him._

_"Your mother's pregnant."_

_Gerard blinked and suddenly his vision is bleary. He wants to say something... He doesn't even know how he feels about it. He was going to have a brother or sister... And Eddie was going to be a father. A real stepfather._

_"Oh..." Gerard said and it was all he could manage to get out._

_"Oh?" Eddie questioned, moving his hands off of Gerard's hips. "Is that all?"_

_Gerard slowly crawled off the older mans lap and sits in bed with his hands on his naked thighs._

_"I'm just... I'm trying to wrap my brain around it... I'm really happy for you, really. I am. But don't you think it's... A bit weird?" Gerard said, looking down at his own lap._

_"What're you talking about?"_

_Gerard looked at the older man with a serious glint in his eyes and scoffed._

_"She knows about us. She didn't want anymore kids. She's just trying to ruin what we have."_

_Eddie's brow arches and his expression goes from confused to extremely confused._

_"Gerard... We both know that's not true."_

_"No! It fucking is!" Gerard shouted and immediately regrets it when Eddie stands up and raises his hand up at him._

_"Shut up!" He hissed through gritted teeth. "Right. Now."_

_Gerard's breathing harshly, terrified. He really thought Eddie was going to hit him._

_"Your mom doesn't know about us... And she never will. If she ever does you'll seriously regret ever falling for a man like me."_

_Gerard folded his lips together and blinked up at Eddie with tearful eyes._

_"Stop that..." Eddie lowered his hand and tipped his head to the side._

_Gerard sniffed and sobbed, shaking his head. Tears were pouring out of his eyes and his body was trembling._

_"Gerard. Don't... Don't you fucking dare." Eddie said quietly, shifting his stance so that he wasn't hovering over the teenage boy threateningly._

_"I'm... I'm... I'm t-t-trying n-not to." Gerard stammered and another sob coursed through him._

_Eddie sighed deeply and took a seat next to the younger man. He placed his hand on the brunette's shoulder and palmed him there gently._

_"It's okay... I wasn't going to hit you. I'm sorry for scaring you. Just stop crying. It's really upsetting me." Eddie said sympathetically, but not genuinely._

_"Y-you... You. You h-h-hate m-me." Gerard stammered, trying to stop himself from crying. But it only made the stuttering worse._

_"I don't, Gerard. I don't hate you. I just got upset. I don't hate you. I'm sorry."_

_Eddie lifted his hand from Gerard's knee and reached out to touch his hair. He moved his long fingers through the greasy, jet black locks as he inched closer to him._

_Gerard's sobbing started to fade and all that was left were weak, uneven gasps for air._

_Eddie pulled Gerard to his chest and continued to stroke his hair as his other hand started to rub calming circles on his back._

_"I love you." Gerard sniffed, nuzzling his frame against Eddie's._

_Eddie stiffened against him... He knew what those three words meant this time. What they've always meant._

_He suddenly halted his actions and took a deep breath._

_This didn't feel right..._

_"Shhhh..."_

* * *

Frank watched Gerard's eyes move rapidly behind his eyelids.

Dreamworld... Where one's subconscious fools you to believe that there is such a thing as eternal happiness.

Frank swallowed the lump in his throat and backed out of the guest room quietly. He left the door slightly open, allowing the hallway light to be Gerard's guide back to the real world just incase he become lost in the secluded façade he created in his mind.

Walking down the hall, towards his bedroom, Frank allowed himself to think freely... No restraints on his brain. No what if's or but's.

He permitted himself to wrap his mind around the fact that Gerard was... Is a sick person. He was a lost cause. He had traumas and unfulfilled desires he was trying to conjure up in real life.

He was surviving for a man who wanted nothing to do with him... A man who helped raise him and take care of him. A man who was supposed to be a father to him.

Frank pushed open his bedroom door and flicked the light switch on... If the light bulb in his ceiling fan had been Gerard it would not have turned on.

Guilty on many occasions is what Frank feels inside himself since he's been in the hookers presence. He didn't want to feel sick to his stomach about it anymore... For thinking about how he knew he'd kill Gerard in a heart beat if M asked him to do it.

The most important factor to that idealistic irony is how he'd do it... That... That was something even he couldn't think of even if he'd written the dramatics up himself.

Frank walked into his bathroom, massaging the back of his sore neck. He needed a fucking massage... From a fucking hot masseuse or masseur.

He then wondered if Gerard knew how to give back rubs...

Nah, probably not. He's seen how awkward Gerard's hands were... Shaky and crooked. Nothing good would come from those. 

Frank showered and it was only a few minutes long, but it was all he needed. He climbed out and looked at himself in the mirror. His skin was surprisingly clear, except for the bruise on his cheek, but besides that he looked like he hadn't been through the stress that he had recently, and ongoing, endured.

Frank wrapped his towel around his waist after he pulled it from the rack and exited his steamy bathroom. He was humming to himself.

"Frank."

"Fuck!" Frank screamed, turning to the voice that called out to him on his bed.

Gerard's face was pale... Paler. He has dark, red circles under his eyes and his hair was pushed back, away from his face.

He looked like a dead man.

"Gerard. What the actual fuck, man." Frank's hand was glued to his chest, clutching where he could feel his heart pounding.

"I'm coming down." Gerard said monotonically.

Frank frowned and looked at his alarm clock on his nightstand. It was already 10pm... His whole day had gone to M and Gerard. Another day wasted. Again. 

"How bad is it?" Frank asked, going to his dresser.

He pulled out a shirt and slipped it on.

"I... I woke up and saw you leaving the room. I thought I said your name, like, calling out to you. But I imagined it. Are you mad at me...? About what happened here with M?"

Frank turned away from his dresser after he grabbed a pair of boxers from the bottom drawer and looked Gerard over.

He can see the crash all over the mans face. Paranoia, anxiety... Nothing out of the ordinary.

"No." He said, putting his boxers on under his towel.

Gerard licked his lips and then folded them together. He look down as he fiddled with his fingers which had been lying in his lap.

"Do you need water?" Frank asked and Gerard looked back up at him.

"Y-yeah. Thanks."

Frank dropped his towel on the trunk at the end of his bed and exited his bedroom. He entered his kitchen and pulled open the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of water and went back to his bedroom.

Gerard was under his sheets now. The duvets weet pulled up to his chin and his eyes were slightly closed.

"Here." Frank said, causing the other man to open his tired eyes completely.

He sat up slowly and grabbed the bottle from Frank's hands. Their fingers brush.

"Thanks again." 

"No problem."

Gerard uncapped the water and took a swig.

Frank watched him until half the bottle was killed and took a seat at the end of his bed.

"Feel better?" He asked and Gerard nodded numbly.

"Good."

Awkward silence smothers them and Gerard coughs, setting the bottle of water on the nightstand.

"I know you're probably going to say no, but... Can I sleep with you tonight? I promise I won't try anything. I just... I need the security." Gerard whispered, smearing the duvet with his sweaty palms.

"Are you sure?" Frank asked.

Gerard nodded.

"If you're sure... Then yes, you can." Frank nodded back and Gerard smiled a weak smile at him.

He looked relaxed now. He cuddled into the fluffy bed and sunk into the equally fluffy pillows with a content sigh escaping his lips.

"Don't hog all the pillows." Frank laughed, climbing into bed urgently. He crawled under the sheets as Gerard moved aside to give him more room.

Frank's head reached one of his pillows and he buried his face into it. Everything already smelled like Gerard and he sighed contently.

Smelled like home.

"Goodnight, Frankie." Gerard said, yawning.

"Goodnight, Gerard." Frank said back, catching Gerard's contagious yawn.

They close their eyes and drift off to dreamworld.


	17. Sunday Mourning

_The morning after Gerard and Eddie had sex for the first time is a beautiful Sunday Morning. His mother was off running errands and Eddie was still asleep. Most likely hungover. He took advantage of his mothers absence and prepared breakfast for the older man._

_He went all out. He prepared pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. He was half way done with cooking when he heard Eddie starting to come down the staircase._

_Gerard quickly fixed the plate for the older man and set it on the kitchen bar. He then noticed he had forgotten to pour the coffee and quickly rushed to the machine with a mug in his hand._

_Eddie stepped in quietly and took a seat at the bar, the side where the plate of food wasn't sitting on, and grabbed his notebook and pen which had been on the table. He paid no mind to his stepson._

_Gerard turned around slowly once the mug was filled with coffee and sugar and sat it in front of Eddie with a smile on his face. "I made you breakfast." Gerard said, sounding like he was expecting praise and a gold star._

_Eddie peered up from his notebook and finally looked at Gerard with his brows arched. His eyes were barely open and Gerard thought he looked so cute and snuggly. He wanted to litter his groggy face in kisses._

_"Breakfast?" He rasped, looking to the plate of food next to him._

_"I just need coffee. Never been a fan of breakfast food. You eat it. You need it more than I do. You're a growing boy." He grabbed the mug of coffee Gerard handed him and sipped it._

_Eddie noticed the look of disappointment on his stepsons face and he sighed, forcing a smile at him._

_"Thanks for the coffee though. You always make it best." He said and then took another sip._

_Gerard beamed and took a seat at the bar, next to Eddie, and started to eat the food he'd prepared._

_They sat their in silence, slurping and eating and coughing._

_Eddie finally closed his notebook and took one last sip of his coffee. He hopped off the stool and sat the mug in the sink. "I'm gonna' go upstairs. I've gotta get ready for work."_

_Gerard watched Eddie stretch and work his hand up and down the back of his neck. He started to walk off and Gerard chuckled under his breath._

_Eddie heard him and turned around, slowly. "What's so funny?" He frowned._

_Gerard lowered his eyes on the table and shook his head slowly. "Nothing..." He giggled._

_Eddie blinked, glaring at his stepson. "If you've got something to say... Say it."_

_Gerard looked up from the table and into Eddie's eyes. "Well, today's Sunday. You don't work on the weekends."_

_Eddie squinted at Gerard, listening to the laughter that filled his voice. It was stuck in his head. "Is it?" Eddie asked and Gerard nodded._

_There was something else that had Gerard all giggly and Eddie wanted to find out._

_"Anything else you wanna' get out?" The older man pressed._

_Gerard was teetering in his seat now and nibbling on his bottom lip. His eyes were lowered. He didn't want to say what else was making him blush like a school girl, but poor Eddie... He had no idea._

_Eddie looked to where Gerard's eyes were focused on and saw it. He covered himself with his robe and looked up to see Gerard's expression. "Why didn't you just tell me in the first place? Jesus, Gerard. C'mon." Eddie said, urging his morning wood down._

_Gerard was too busy giggling like a maniac to properly respond to the older man. He just stared at him; his eyes watery and red faced from laughing so hard._

_"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laugh it up." Eddie swatted the younger man with his notebook. "You won't find it so amusing when it happens to you."_

_Once Gerard settled down he watched as Eddie went to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He uncapped it with his bare hands and chugged down half the bottle._

_"Is that a good idea?" Gerard asked, taking his empty plate to the sink. "Aren't you hungover?"_

_Eddie perked a brow at him and chuckled. "Yeah, but drinking a beer seems to balance me out. Kinda like counterattacking."_

_Gerard hummed at Eddie's method and pursed his lips. He was amused by the idea._

_Maybe I'll try it someday, he thought._

_"Does it always work?" Gerard asked, moving closer to his stepdad. He leaned against the kitchen counter, in front of Eddie who was standing in front of the fridge._

_"Usually... I mean, if one beer doesn't do the job I'll drink another. But then I would have to eat a cheeseburger right after though." He said, taking another chug of his beer._

_"I see..." Gerard said, whispering. "Would you be willing to try out my hangover cure?" He asked and pushed his hand against Eddie's crotch._

_The older man stepped to the side a bit making himself out of reach. He walked around towards the breakfast nook and glared at Gerard menacingly. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but you really need to drop it." He sat his beer down on the table and took a deep breath._

_"I just wanted to help." Gerard responded quickly, turning to face his stepfather. "Last night... Last night was--"_

_"Gerard." Eddie said sternly. "Just... Don't. Just fucking drop it. That... That was inadvertent. I never--not ONCE ever thought about you like that. EVER."_

_Gerard shook his head as Eddie spoke. "You're such a liar. Sucha fucking liar. You can't say that... You went through with it."_

_"You seduced me! I was belligerent!"_

_"I'm an adult!"_

_"You're my stepson!"_

_It's quiet for a minute, or so, after that. Gerard looked down at the floor and bit down on his bottom lip, hard. He takes a moment to register what happened and then takes a deep breath._

_"I don't care." He said, lifting his hazel eyes to meet Eddie's blue ones._

_Suddenly, after a long pause he rushed to Eddie, full force, and pulled him into a kiss by the back of his neck. They stumble against the kitchen bar stools and fall against the island._

_Eddie's kissing back, grabbing his stepson by his hips and he's squeezing him there tightly. Gerard's knees buckle as Eddie's hands explore his exposed sides. It feels like the older man was dying to place his palms there and to Gerard it felt like they were meant to be there, massaging and squeezing._

_The kiss alone gets him hard and now he's pushing his hips into Eddie's. Grinding and thrusting against him, but Eddie's got a firm hold on him and shoved him back into the counter aggressively. Gerard tears his lips away from Eddie's and cries out in pain as his lower back slams into the edge of the kitchen counter and stares up at the older man with a puzzled, yet completely blown away expression on his face._

_"What's wrong?" Gerard asked, breathlessly. He'd given most of his oxygen to the kiss._

_"Not in here." Eddie said quietly and then licked his lips. "C'mon, let's go to your room."_

_He took the younger mans hand and pulled him out of the kitchen and towards the staircase. He lead them up and to Gerard's bedroom door._

_Once they're inside Gerard quickly shut his bedroom door and locked it behind them just in case his mother came home early. You could never be too safe._

* * *

Sunday Morning. It's 7am when Gerard wakes up. His cell is vibrating on the nightstand and when he answers it he looks over at Frank to make sure he's still asleep.

"Hello." He answered, still staring at Frank's sleeping frame.

"Gerard, it's Dick."

Gerard looked at the time on the nightstand and sighed. It was too early to be getting calls from clients.

"Dick... What'd you want?" Gerard asked, slightly agitated. You can hear the frustration in his tired voice.

"The day." Dick answered quickly. "The whole day. I need it."

Gerard sat up and smoothed his free hand over his face and yawned. Too fucking early for this shit.

Before Gerard can give him his answer Dick inserts the price into their 'conversation'. 

"5 grand."

Gerard stood up quickly, but quietly and started for Frank's bathroom to get ready.

"I'll be there at 8." He whispered and ends the call.

* * *

The next morning, at 11am, Frank wakes up to an empty spot on his bed. No Gerard. No warmth.

He's half asleep when he jumped out of bed, looking around his bedroom and stumbling through his bathroom door, but still no Gerard.

The rest of the house was next and now he's awake and alert, going through the living room, kitchen and den.

Still no Gerard.

Frank started to panic now. He had no idea where Gerard was and if he was taken or... Or raped and killed... M would fucking maim him.

"Fuck... Fuck. Fuck." He said loudly, rushing back to his bedroom.

He grabbed his jeans from the hanger in his closet and threw them on. He rushed to his bed and grabbed his cellphone from his nightstand. That was when he saw the note. He picked it up off the table and scanned it with his eyes eagerly.

Frank took a deep breath after he read Gerard's note and dropped it on his bed. Gerard would call him when he was done with his client... That reassured him. He sighed and silently hoped the call would come sooner than 6pm. Frank was still worried though... If anything happened to Gerard and M found out... Frank would be fucked. Literally, probably. He didn't want what happened to Leo Rush. No one would.

Frank exited his bedroom and went to his kitchen and fixed himself a cup of coffee. He sipped it as he sat down at his dining table. He looked at the time on his stove and took a deep breath. He was going to be waiting a while for that phone call.

* * *

Gerard leaned against his clients, Richard a.k.a Dick, bedroom wall. He was naked from the waist down, smoking a cigarette with his back to the blonde, tattooed man recovering from his orgasm.

"It's been a while." He chuckled, pulling the condom off his cock. "Sorry if I wasn't good this round. We can go again in an hour or so..."

Gerard just sucked on his cigarette and rolled his eyes. He never got off with the man. No matter how hard the man tried he was useless at finding the male G-spot. Only by luck he'd find it and it didn't even last long enough for Gerard to enjoy himself... Or even pretend he was enjoying himself. 

"What's wrong?" Dick stood up and moved over to the hooker. He wrapped his arms around the shorter mans waist and kissed the back of his neck. "Not in the mood?"

Gerard exhaled the cigarette smoke from his nostrils and shrugged his shoulders. "No... It's not that."

"What is it? D'you want me to go down on you again?"

"Dick, it's not that."

"Then what?"

"It's nothing! God, just drop it."

Dick dropped his arms from Gerard's waist and stepped back a bit. He looked at the back of Gerard's head and took a deep breath.

"I expect you to be reasonable when you're over. I'm paying 5 grand to have you here all day... I'm not a sadistic prick and I don't ask for much. Now tell me what the fuck is wrong or else I'm cutting out 1 grand." Dick said, trying to remain calm.

Gerard turned around and pressed his cigarette on the ash tray resting on top of the nightstand and then sat down on the bed.

"I'm just stressed. I have a lot on my plate... I've been thinking of visiting my little brother again. It's about that time when my parents let him stay with me and I don't think they will this time. I'm scared about calling and asking." Gerard said, picking at his fingernails.

"Why wouldn't they let you?" Dick asked, taking a seat next to Gerard on his bed.

"Some shit with M and they know I'm still using... My mom found out. It's a long fucking story. Point is... I'm fucking irrelevant to them."

Dick adverted his eyes to Gerard's habitual nail picking and licked his lips. "How the hell did she find out?"

"Uh..." Gerard stammered, shaking his head. "Mikey... Mikey said something. But he's a kid, y'know? He didn't know it was going to affect our time together."

Dick moved his hand to Gerard's shoulder and he massaged him there reassuringly.

"It'll be okay... I'm sure they'll cave in eventually. I mean, it might take your old man a bit longer, but he will. You've got nothing to worry about." Dick said, still rubbing Gerard's shoulder.

Gerard leaned into the man and pressed his head against his chest and sighed.

"I hope so..." He whispered, closing his eyes.

* * *

"7:09." Frank said aloud, pacing back and forth in his kitchen. Gerard was supposed to call... He should've called an hour ago or 9 minutes ago.

Frank wanted to scream and puch someone in the face. Preferably Gerard or the John he was with. And the 4 cups of coffee wasn't helping his nerves.

Just as he was about to pull his cell phone out and call up M he feels his cell vibrate in his back pocket and he immediately pulled it out and answered it.

"Hello?! Gerard?"

"Frank, hey. I'm heading to my place now."

Frank doubletook and groaned aloud. "To your place? You're supposed to come back to my place."

Gerard coughed loudly on the other end and inhaled whatever it was he was smoking.

"Mmm'nope. I got paid enough to spend for myself and now I wanna' have a few friends over. Drink, smoke, snort. If you want you can come, but not as my nanny." Gerard said and in the background Frank can hear people shouting spontaneously.

"Gerard. Get your ass back over here. Like, seriously. This wasn't on your fucking note."

The noise in the background gets louder and Gerard's giggling at something someone said or did, completely ignoring Frank.

"Did you fucking hear me?! This wasn't in your note. You need to come to my place now. I'm gonna' get in so much trouble if M finds out." Frank said, pacing his living room.

Gerard sighed and Frank could seriously see him rolling his eyes.

"Then don't fucking tell him. My friends don't know M. Well, except the Jill, but she's not'a'bout to fucking blab. Hashtag BFF code." Gerard said and coughed again.

"Are you fucking stoned?" Frank asked, not even the slightest amused.

"I'm so stoned. Hashtag sculpture."

"Stop hashtagging our conversation. Don't do that."

"Hashtag PMS." Gerard snorted and Frank took a deep breath, smoothing his hand across his forehead.

"I'll be at your place in 25 minutes. If there's anything that irks me I'm calling M and I'm gonna' have him take care of it." Frank said, threateningly.

"If you come over here and ruin my good time I'm seriously gonna' bash your face in. And if you call M I'll fuck you over. Hashtag--"

"Stop with the fucking hashtag! Just don't have any sketchy people over. I'll see you soon." He ended the call before Gerard could hashtag his farewell and stuffed his phone back into his pocket.

The drive to Gerard's is fast. Thanks to no traffic and Franks driving into the complex a little above the speed limit. He's parking far away from Gerard's building because there isn't a free spot and when he hopped out he spotted a guy with a joint in one hand and an O.E in the other.

"Sup?" He asked as Frank walked pass him. "Got a buck?"

"Nah, sorry man." Frank uttered and quickly headed for Gerard's apartment door.

Once he made it he could hear loud, punk music and drunken shouting coming from the other side.

He opened the door after he turned the knob and discovered it was unlocked and stepped in through the thick cloud of smoke.

For some reason Gerard's apartment looked bigger... It was a one bedroom, but it actually wasn't so stuffed.

"Yo!" Frank called out, glancing at the strung out people on the couch. There was 3 of them, one of which was a blonde female who Frank recognised as Jill. One of M's girls.

"Where's Gerard?" 

Jill blinked up at him with heavy eyelids and pointed in the direction of the kitchen.

Frank nodded at her and went to where she directed him.

"GERARD!" He called out, entering the kitchen.

He spotted the pale man sitting on his dining table. A tall, tattooed, bearded bald man is standing in front of him, in between his legs, pressing a rolled up bill to his nostril and a tray with lines of coke on it.

Gerard's in the middle of snorting a line when Frank stepped over and slapped the mans hand away.

"Whoa, man! What the fuck?!" The bushy bearded man shouted, turning red in the face.

Gerard's mouth is open agape as Frank takes the tray and throws it across the kitchen.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" The man continued to holler and Gerard's jumping off the dining table, grabbing the giant tattooed man by his shoulder.

"It's cool, Zero. Relax. This is Frank Iero. The guy M has babysitting me." Gerard interfered, using his other hand to push Frank away just as he stepped forward.

"Why the fuck d'you do that for!?" Zero bellowed, pushing his chest out and shoving Gerard aside. "That was good shit!"

"Lick it off the floor you fucking junkie. Listen to him if you wanna' leave this place with your pretty face intact." Frank sneered, grabbing Gerard by his elbow aggressively.

"What'd I tell you on the phone, huh?" Frank asked the hooker as Zero questioned being called pretty to himself out loud.

"No one's fucking sketchy Frank! We're having a good time. I know Zero. He's a good friend." Gerard slurred, trying to pull himself free from Frank's tight grip on him.

"Friend? You mean client? I know who this douche is. A fucking leech is what he is. More money than fucking brains. His parents are fucking loaded and all he does is get high and stick his dick in hookers." Frank growled, reading the other man.

"So what?!" Zero hollered, not denying the characterisation. "Fucking jealous?"

Frank laughed bitterly and jutted his thumb towards the kitchen exit. "Get the fuck out before I fucking kill you."

Gerard nodded his head sternly at zero and nudged his chin in the direction Frank was pointing.

Zero smacked his teeth obnoxiously and rushed out, muttering fantasy threats directed at Frank.

"Explain why I shouldn't call M." Frank said loudly, shoving Gerard against the wall when Zero disappeared.

"I don't know... Why would you? I didn't do anything wrong. I'm just having a--"

"A good time, yeah... Doing drugs and letting dangerous rich boys rub their dick all over you. A super good time." 

"If you're just here to judge me I'll call M myself and tell him everything." Gerard said, shoving Frank away from him so he could peel himself off the wall.

"And if you do that you'll get in even more trouble. You'll just be ratting yourself out."

"If you're not gonna' go I will. I have a place I can go to. I don't need you or M." 

Frank laughed bitterly and shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe I'm seriously in this situation. Dude, you have fucking issues. Your. Boyfriend. Wants. To. Kill. You."

Gerard pushed his hands on his hips and shrugged his shoulders carelessly. "And I don't care. Either way I'm fucked. I'm not allowed to see Mikey at all anymore until I get sober. Someone told Eddie that I'm still using. So if you or M wanna' fucking kill me go right ahead. Put me out of my misery."

The hooker closed his eyes and raised his arms up in defeat.

"Just make it quick."

"Gerard, shut the fuck up. No one's killing you without any proof that you're a traitor... If you come home with me now no one has to mention shit to M. I'll pretend this never happened." Frank clasped his hands and watched Gerard cross his arms over his chest.

He sighed and looked down at the floor. "Or you can stay until I'm done here. Zero already paid me for the hour." 

Frank looked back as someone coughed near the kitchen door to be acknowledged. It was Zero.

"Yeah, and I'm expecting the full hour." The man said, pointing at his flashy, gold Rolex.

Gerard nodded and walked past Frank without saying anything else to him and followed Zero through his house and to his bedroom.

Frank wiped his hands down his face and released an exaggerated sigh as he shook his head from side to side slowly.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me."

* * *

The party has come to an end and Frank's alone in Gerard's apartment now. It leaves him thinking and thinking was making him angry. He can't take it anymore... Being disrespected and not taken seriously. Gerard was taking advantage of him.

He's absolutely sick of it. Sick of being treated like he was a joke.

He's sitting in the living room and he can hear Gerard and Zero going at it in the bedroom. He hears Zero grunting and uttering profanities which were directed at Gerard.

Frank groaned out in annoyance and massaged his temples with his index fingers. He couldn't believe he was standing by while the man M told him to fucking babysit is in the middle of a fucking job... Like some sort of Pimp.

Sighing, Frank pulled his cell out of his pocket and went through his contacts.

He looked over M's number for a minute, debating whether he should call the man and let him know about the shit Gerard pulled.

It would be for his own good. And not to mention he would be saving his own ass. If M ever found out... If he knew Frank allowed Gerard do whatever the fuck he wanted whenever...

Frank gulped at the thought and pressed M's contact and pushed his phone to his ear.

Gerard is going to hate him for this...

"Hey M. It's me, Frank..."


	18. Gerard's Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty emotional/fucked up chapter <3 sorry guys

* * *

...Death **|** Love...  
[ **These are all of the things that define me** ]  
...Kill **|** Bleed... 

* * *

He's so high. So unbelievably high... He cries during sex with Zero. He cries in between moans and whimpers. It feels so numbing. He can feel all of Zero filling him up. Inch by inch. Sliding in and out of him.

He grips onto his bed frame and grinds himself against the other man for more friction. His legs are on Zero's shoulders and every time the man pounds into him his toes straighten out and an immense amount euphoria courses through his entire body.

"Oh, god... Oh--Don't stop. D-don't stop." Gerard uttered through gritted teeth, throwing his head back. He feels so overwhelmed with pleasure. He wants this for life. He wants to be fucked out of his mind. Fucked out of his heart. Fucked out of his soul.

This is what he lived for.

The bed bangs against the wall like it's about to go through it and Zero's groaning out like a dying man, wheezing and coming. At the same time Gerard's moving his hands up and placing them on Zero's shoulders, using him to drag himself down.

He's next. He comes hard and it's like a slap to his face. He grunts and pants and continues to work himself down on Zero's cock until it goes soft. He rides out his orgasm and Zero's jutting against him, milking Gerard's prostate a little longer.

"F-fuck... Oh, fuck." Gerard twitched involuntarily, letting his hands reach up and touch Zero's bearded face. "Oh God, baby. Oh God." He chanted and Zero's smirking down at him, panting like a dog that needs water.

"Fuck yeah... Fuck yeah..." Zero moaned in between chuckles and pinned his hips to the hookers ass, burying himself deeply inside of him.

Gerard's done now. His body can't stop shaking and his eyes roll to the back of his head. He's letting out these wrecked, uneven moans and Zero's finally pulling out once he realised Gerard has clearly had enough.

"Fucking you was the best idea I ever had." Zero said, climbing out of bed. He looked down at Gerard's worn out body and smirked. "I bet I'm the best fuck you've encountered."

Gerard closed his eyes and pushed his hand through his mussed up fringe and exhaled deeply. 

"Close." He said, sitting up slowly, groaning as the tension in his body dissipated. "Second best." He shook off the tremor that coursed through him.

"Right. It's your job to say your man's your #1... How's he been by the way?" Zero asked, fixing his cargo pants on.

"M's good... I haven't been spending much time with him though. Since I've been quarantined with Iero." Gerard answered, grabbing his jeans from the end of his bed.

Zero laughed and pulled a rumpled pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. He pulled one out with his lips and lit with the lighter in his other hand.

Gerard dressed quickly and when he was finished he looked at Zero who was leaning against his bedroom door, staring at him with hazy, red eyes.

"Ready?" The tall man started.

Gerard nodded and waited for Zero to move out of the way.

"... Can you move?" Gerard asked, reaching out for his door knob.

Zero slapped his hand away and rose a brow at him.

"Wait a second." 

Gerard glared up at him and frowned. "What?" He asked, slightly nervous. He was a little worried now.

He automatically assumed something awful was about to happen... Could you blame him?

Zero nudged his chin to Gerard's alarm clock on the nightstand and exhaled his cigarette smoke at Gerard's face.

"The hour." He said. "It's almost up."

Gerard sighed in relief and rolled his eyes. "Are you fucking serious? Fuck, Zero. You nearly gave me a heart attack." He slapped the taller mans shoulder. "Fucking A-hole." 

Zero laughed obnoxiously and pressed his foot back against Gerard's door. "What can I say? I'm punctual."

"OCD maniac... God, you're so fucking cute. You idiot bastard." Gerard pushed himself against Zero and kissed his neck. He was relieved. He'd never been proved wrong in a situation. Especially when he felt it in his gut.

Zero's free hand went to Gerard's lower back and he smiled. "Yeah I am." He said with his cigarette hanging between his pale, chapped lips. 

* * *

"The fuck did this bitch do this time?"

Frank was taken aback by the harshness in M's tone. He already sounded fed up and aggravated... Almost like he had been anticipating this very call.

"Um, well..." Frank started, trailing off. "He left my house when I was asleep to a clients house. After he was supposed to come straight to my house but he went to his... I waited all day and now he has me waiting in his living room while he pays off his coke debt."

And as if it had been rehearsed Frank hears Gerard's loud moans and the bed hitting the wall repeatedly and he's pretty sure M heard it too.

M inhaled and then exhaled loudly before chuckling forcibly.

"Still can't keep him on the leash, eh?" He said, picking his teeth. He was in the middle of dinner with his family when Frank called. "At least you're calling me before anything bad happens... Unlike last time."

Frank swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. "Y-yeah, that's why I called. I need you to come to his place and set him straight... After, can you bring him to my house? I'm gonna' be heading out."

"Yeah, sure, why not? While we're at it do you wanna' tell me how to run my family business? Should I call you boss now?" M said; his tone condescending.

"M... _Sir_. It's not like that. He listens to you. He respects you." Frank cleared up.

"He's afraid of me. And you need to make him afraid of you."

"I've been trying."

"D'you like him, Frank? D'you think he's pretty?"

Frank stammered trying to answer the question. It came out of no where and this wasn't the first time M insinuated something like this. "H-he... I... I."

"I'll take that as a yes. But I don't blame you... Lemme tell you somethin' though... Let me fill you in on this bit of information." M started and Frank attempted to block out the noise coming from Gerard's room so he couldn't miss a word from M.

"He'll be the fucking **death** of you. Let's say you haven't fucked him since you've been keeping watch... Let's say he, hell I don't know, falls in **love** with you. When you finally fuck him he'll become obsessed. He'll cling onto your dick and balls for safety and if I do find out he's exchanging info for free blow and a fuck... I'll **kill** you both. I'll skin you alive and I'll hang you upside down and watch you **bleed** out."

Frank sat in silence, shaking visibly as he listened to M scrape two knives together in the background. 

"But I don't want to jump to conclusions. Go the fuck home and pray to God I don't shoot you in the face when I drop him off at your place. Because when I suspect things I always turn out right. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt." 

"Y-yes, sir. Goodbye, sir." Frank ended the call on that note and pushed his hand through his hair. 

"Fuck." He whispered, still trembling.

* * *

Gerard's exiting his bedroom in front of Zero, holding his hand and giggling every time he says something. The man was funny and Gerard loved a funny guy. They were his weakness.

"If you weren't a client I'd have to make you my boyfriend." Gerard said, looking back at the tall, bearded man who was smirking at him deviously.

"What's the difference? Clients are like boyfriends. We pay for everything and we fuck you. And you still get mad when I pull your hair."

Gerard shoved the tall man playfully and started for the kitchen when he noticed Frank wasn't around.

"Frank." He called out, scratching the side of his head. He yawned loudly and looked back at Zero was exiting the front door.

"See ya G." The man waved, not looking back.

"Bye babe." 

The door closed loudly behind him and Gerard kicked open his kitchen door.

"Hey there doll face."

Gerard's eyes jump from Synyster to Zacky to Johnny and then finally M. He backed up quickly, ready to run out, but Zacky pulls him by his leather jacket and throws him to the floor.

"M. I didn't. I didn't do anything." Gerard started to defend himself from whatever reason he was being cornered in his own kitchen. 

"Hm?" M got down on his knees in front of Gerard and pulled his switch blade from his boot swiftly. "What was that?"

"M... Baby." Gerard's putting his hands up, pleading with them. He leans forward slightly, slouching in front of the bigger man. "I didn't."

"You didn't what?!" M screamed. "Do you even know why the fuck I'm here?! Huh?!"

Gerard flinched at each shout and shook his head frantically. "N-no." He stammered, shaking visibly.

M moved his fingers through Gerard's hair gently, pushing it out of his face. He chuckled quietly, looking over the marks on the pale mans skin.

"Are you ever going to heal?" He asked.

Gerard lifted his eyes up to him and blinked back his tears. He failed miserably and droplets freely rolled down his cheeks.

"The reason why I'm here is because Frankie called and tattled on you. He said you were being a bad boy and needed discipline. That's why he called daddy." M said in a mocking tone.

Gerard dropped his hands and sniffled quietly. He looked at M's face. He said nothing. 

"What? You're not gonna' keep begging?"

Gerard swallowed the lump in his throat and finally the panic arose... The body compulsions. He pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead and weeped.

He was going to fucking get it now.

"Stand the fuck up." M snapped, standing up himself. 

Gerard obeyed despite his sobbing fit and turned his back to M. He leaned over his dining table with Zacky on one side and Synyster on his other. Together they held his arms down on the hard, cold surface and Gerard pressed his face into it as he felt Johnny's rough hands pull his jeans down and spread his legs apart.

The only sound circulating around the kitchen is M's belt coming undone and his zipper going down. Gerard's cries turned to gasps for air and now he's bracing himself.

He's trying to shift, but the guys are keeping him pinned.

"Keep fucking still." M growled, moving behind the hooker, and grabbed his hips roughly.

His other hand was holding himself and he's looking down at Gerard's ass. There's a bruise on his lower back and it looks fresh. Purpley, greenish, yellowy, blueish and red. Basically The fucking rainbow.

M can't hear Gerard's crying over his own breathing as he manoeuvres his cock against his entrance and pushes into him.

The only lube Gerard's getting is a few hacks of spit and pre-cum. But M knows Gerard's been fucked enough these past few days to be able to handle it. He doesn't feel too tight, though he isn't loose either.

M groaned out as Gerard clenched around him and cried out in pain. He's trying to move his hips forward to get away from M's thrust, but it's only making M pull him back harder.

"Fuck... Keep moving like that. Keep fucking struggling." M gasped, leaning over the smaller mans sweaty, bruised back as he pounds into him mercilessly.

Gerard's gritting his teeth the whole time, trying to keep still, but he can't. His body isn't allowing it.

"Flip him over." M said loudly, roughly pulling out.

Gerard screamed out in pain and suddenly he's being forced onto the dining table, on his back, and M is moving in between his legs, putting them around his waist and griping onto them.

"A-Ah, fuck... Fuck that's good." He moaned, thrusting in and out of Gerard rigid body in a whole new light.

Gerard's arms are still being held down. He so badly wants to cover his face and all he can think about is how fucking pathetic he must look.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere it came. A punch to his face. And he's trying to move his arms free to protect himself. Everything's black and another punch comes and now he's trying, scurrying to pick himself up off of the floor... He doesn't remember falling.

"GET UP!" 

Gerard failed. He covered his head with his arms and stayed on the ground, ducking miserably. His instincts kicked in and now he can't fucking move. He's too afraid.

"I'll fucking kill you, Gerard. GET THE FUCK UP!"

And now he's been kicked in the rib, causing him to drop his arms from his head to protect his body.

"UP!"

There's a hand tangling in his hair, yanking him up and throwing him across the room. He's hitting his head against the kitchen door as he flies through it and lands near his living room sofa.

He can hear Synyster laughing and he's close to puking now.

M's hovering above him, pulling him up by his hair again and throwing him onto the couch.

"I'm gonna' let you in on a little secret." M said, yanking the front of the hookers shirt.

Gerard's eyes are squeezed shut and his nose is scrunched up and bleeding. He's got tears dripping down his face and his hands are holding onto M's, scratching and urging him to let go.

"D'you wanna' hear the fucking secret?" M asked, leaning in to whisper in Gerard's ear.

Gerard whimpered loudly and forced himself to nod his head. His eyes are still closed.

"Rick told me."

Gerard's eyes remained closed and he's letting go of M's hands. He's leaning into the bigger man and pushing his face into his shoulder, breathless gasps and wracked sobs. He could never contain them. They were far too powerful.

"I know." He cried with his eyes still closed. And all he can hear is his heartbeat and the ambulance sirens blaring outside.

This is his life.


	19. Frank's Life

* * *

...Death **|** Love...  
[ **These are all of the things that define me** ]  
...Kill **|** Bleed... 

* * *

Frank paces back and forth in his bedroom, looking towards the window and watching cars drive by. He's trying to spot M's SUV. He was stressing himself out and he felt like he was going to have a fucking heart attack.

Truth be told he was anticipating Gerard's arrival. He knew the other man was going to give him so much hell for calling M on him, but it really had to be done. He needed in on M's good side and he didn't fucking appreciate the death threats he keeps receiving everything time he checked in with him.

It was crazy how quickly he was targeted as if he were in the same boat as the hooker. As if they were conspiring to take down A7X.

Frank sighed and stopped pacing. He took a seat on his bed and palmed his face. He needed to get the fuck out of this city... Off of this state. 

Just as Frank was actually considering these options there's three loud knocks, more like bangs, at his door and he jumps out of bed like there's fire on it and rushes out of his bedroom and to the front door.

" _You drop him, I'm dropping you_." 

Frank heard M say through the door to one of his guys.

" _I'm not, I'm not_."

Synyster's voice.

 _Fuck... That guy_? Frank has heard so much nasty shit about him... About how he always use to take Gerard to his room without anyone knowing and he would tie him to his bed and do whatever the fuck he wanted... Like, _whatever_ the fuck he wanted.

Sick, sadistic shit. And it was no wonder he got himself thrown into a wall that day he got caught by Maxie. 

Frank unlocked his door and pulled it open slowly; his eyes landed on Gerard first, who's slouched in between Synyster and Zacky with his head lowered and was leaning more on Zacky's side. Frank can't get a good look at his face but he knows his eyes are closed. 

M shoved Frank back with his pistol in his hand and A7X followed behind him.

"Here." M grunted, yanking Gerard by his sweat damped hair and pushed him at Frank, red faced and grunting as if he wanted to do more damage but he held himself back.

Frank caught Gerard around his waist before he could hit the floor and held him against his body. He was limp, but weightless at the same time. Almost as if he were a rag doll. 

"If I have to cut through dinner with my fucking family again I'm gonna' bring him back in a box. In fucking pieces." M said, pointing his gun at Gerard.

Frank just nodded stiffly and swallowed the lump in his throat. He could feel Gerard's body trembling now and he was suddenly becoming dead weight.

"And you!" M now pointed the gun at Frank. "I hired you for this job because of your fucking experience and I know you've done way more fucked up shit. You've killed kids, man... Grow some balls and keep this bitch on lock down or I'll fuck you up. I'm sick and tired of your unprofessionalism." He kept jamming the gun in Frank's direction.

"Y-yes... Sir. Yes." Frank wanted him to stop waving his gun around. He wanted him to fucking leave without anyone getting shot at.

"I don't know if you fucking take this as a joke, but this gun is fucking loaded." He aimed it at the wall behind Frank and Gerard and squeezed the trigger.

**BANG!**

The noise made them both jump and Frank tightened his grip around Gerard who shrieked out and started sobbing.

"Keep. Him. In. Check. Or you're both clocking out early." He said and shoved the gun into his holster.

He turned around and put his hands on his hips. Police sirens can be heard wailing outside, far away, and he sighs. He's agitated and tired.

"Zacky. Call my brother." He started for the front door and A7X followed behind him. "There's going to be a fucking war on our hands."

They exited the house, slamming the door behind them and as soon as Frank heard the engine of the SUV disappear he gently moved Gerard to the couch and then rushed to the front door and locked it. All three locks and sighed in relief.

Gerard was weeping quietly, covering his face with his hands and shaking his head slowly.

"Gerard..." Frank said, approaching him. "Let me see... Let me see your face."

The man shook his head vigorously and released a choked sob.

"C'mon... I need to see it so I can clean you up." Frank took a seat next to him and grabbed his wrist.

He flinched and moved out of Frank's reach. "Don't." He whispered, still crying. "Don't touch me."

Frank pulled back and sighed. He felt bad. This was all his fault... But he knew it would have ended up worse if he never told M anything at all.

Someone else might've and Gerard would've gotten whatever he received ten times worse and so would Frank. He didn't want that kind of treatment. He didn't want to be seen as incompetent or unreliable, because if M saw you as a liability you were fucking out, man. Done, down and dead.

"Gerard, we gotta clean you up. You'll get an infection. We gotta fix you up, babe." Frank said, putting on his sympathetic tone for the injured man.

He stayed quiet, still shaking and sobbing; his hands were still on his face and all Frank could see is the bruises and blood splotches on chin and forehead.

From what he could see it looked bad. Gruesome almost and he really wanted to clean this guy up. Letting it sit like that would only cause more problems. They didn't need anymore fucking problems.

Frank stood up quickly and hurried to the bathroom down the hall and grabbed everything he'd need to clean Gerard up with in his medicine cabinet.

Rubbing alcohol, wipes, bandaids, cotton balls and pain killers. Lots of pain killers. He came down the hall again, holding everything in his arms. Gerard's still in the same position and when Frank gets down on his knees in front of him he groans out and tries to turn around.

"No. Don't do that." Frank grabbed his wrist and his hands fell from his face.

Gerard's left eye is swelled shut and his bottom lip is split open, swollen and bloody. There's a vertical gas on his eyebrow and a huge bruise on his cheek.

Frank cringed at the state of Gerard's face and the man blinked his right eye at him, tears pouring out.

"Happy?" He asked; his voice breaking. "Are you fucking happy now!?" 

There wasn't anything Frank could say or do in that moment. He just backed up a bit and looked down. What was he supposed to fucking do? He couldn't make it better. Nothing he could say could change anything.

"He punched me in the face, Frank. Twice." Gerard said, sounding dejected. "He raped me... H-he... He's a monster." 

Frank blinked up at him and nodded numbly. He wanted to say something. He really did, but he could barely bring himself to look at Gerard. Let alone say anything to him. 

"I thought you were going to protect me. I thought you fucking liked m-- You fucking lied, Frank. I trusted you. I... I. I really did. I wanted to believe you. I wanted to be proved wrong so fucking bad." Gerard was on the verge of tears as he spewed his disappointment.

"Do you know how much I fucking care about you? You made me care. Now I don't give a fuck. Nothing you say or do is gonna' make me trust you anymore."

Frank nodded again. "I know." He whispered.

Gerard sat up slowly and took a deep breath. "I hate you." He said darkly. His eyes went black, dead... Nightmarish.

Frank looked directly into Gerard's eyes and attempted to search for anything but hatred and disgust. He couldn't find it. Nothing else was there.

Gerard stood up, hissing in pain and walked around Frank, clutching onto his face. He went to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Frank got up off the floor and went to his bedroom. He left the door partially open and sat at the end of his bed. He can hear the shower running in the bathroom and released a shaky breath.

Gerard was sobbing loudly, wailing almost, and Frank gritted his teeth to stop himself from crying. He was frustrated that he let his pride get the better of him. He so badly wanted the respect and dignity that he stripped away the little Gerard had left. If he had any at all.

As much as Frank wanted to burst into the bathroom and console the hysterical man he didn't. He was glued to the end of his bed, shaking and trying not to break shit and hurt himself.

He can hear Gerard gasping, 'Oh God. Oh God. Oh God', over and over again. 

'Ow. Ow. Ow'. Like a broken record.

Frank listens until the shower shuts off the curtain is loudly shoved aside. Gerard's whimper is still louder. The bathroom door opens and Gerard's walking down the hall, passing Frank's room.

Frank gets off of his bed and walks to his half open door. He peeks through it and watches Gerard trudging to the guest room with the bottom of the bathrobe dragging behind him.

He pushed open the door with both of his hands and stumbles inside, tripping over himself. He hits the floor with a loud thud. Without a second thought Frank bursts through his door and rushes to the man on the ground. 

He's moaning in pain as he pushes himself up with the palm of his hands and Frank's by his side, grabbing his arm and pulling him up gently.

Gerard allows him without struggle and once he's up he shoves Frank away. "I'm fine." He said. "You can take your fucking hands off me now."

"I was just trying to help." Frank watched him fix the askew bathrobe and then get in bed.

"You've helped enough." 

Frank's eyes don't budge from Gerard's direction and he can't help it. He needs to get something off his chest.

"I don't know if you know this... But I'm fucking scared." He said loudly and it rings in the air like an echoing bell.

Gerard's lying on his side; his back to Frank and the bedroom. He's closing and opening his mouth like a fish out of water and breathing shallowly.

Frank continues.

"You don't deserve any of this... You don't need M. You don't need Eddie. You don't need to live like this anymore."

Gerard rolls over, on his back and presses the palm of his hands against his face and releases a shaky breath.

"I can't. I can't." 

Frank inched over to him, shuffling apprehensively and kneeling at the end of the bed like he was doing it discreetly.

He looked at Gerard's trembling frame. The bed was shaking and his sobs were progressively getting louder. Frank hated the sound. He hated the way he sounded.

"Shhh..." His hand hesitantly touched Gerard's hip. He caresses him when the gesture wasn't denied. 

"Y-you're s-s-scared?" He asked in between breathless whimpers. 

Frank nodded.

"W-why?"

Frank took a deep breath. He climbed into bed with Gerard. He pressed his chest against the mans back and wrapped his arm around his midsection. Gerard's wet hair soaks his face and his tears mix in with the dampness.

"Because... One day it'll happen." Frank closed his eyes. He can see the faces of those children. Their mother. 

He can see his loved ones. The ones he supposedly no longer had. Frank couldn't have love in his life. Not now at least. He had to throw it away for drugs, money and violence. He had no choice.

He still called and texted his ex for fucks sake. His ex... And his child. He couldn't even tell anyone the kid is his. If anything happened to him... If M wanted him dead he'll kill his ex and his child. He'll spare his parents because they've been in the business way too long, but they'll kill Frank's family. The one he use to have.

He misses that woman. He missed her laugh and her smell. He missed the little things, like talking hours on end about nothing. He missed her nature and her vibrant soul... Fuck, he fucking misses her and the sad thing is she still loved him... But she was scared too.

The faces of those children and their mother... That was going to catch up to him. That was going to be his life. 

Gerard turned until he was facing Frank. The blood on his face was gone and the swelling looked like it was going down a bit. 

They were face-to-face. Gerard's eyes explored Franks solemn expression. "What'll happen?" He asked; his voice barely above a whisper.

"When I saw them... Carrying you inside the house. He threw you at me. I tried not to think about the 'if', but... What if you were dead? What if he kills you and... And throws you at me. What if karma finally catches up to me and it involves you?" Frank's heart was racing. He cared so much about this human being. He was fucking hurting for him. With him.

Gerard blinked at Frank and lowered his eyes to his mouth. He sighed and then a small, unexpected smile tugged at his lips.

Frank's brows stitched together in bewilderment. 

"Do you love me, Frank?"

Frank's eyes are locked on Gerard's knowing smile. Is that what Frank's been trying to say...? That he loved this man? Is this situation far too familiar?

 _Her_...

He loved her too.

Frank swallowed the lump in his throat and adverted his eyes to Gerard's swollen face.

"So much." He whispered and he can see life explode back into Gerard's eyes.

"I love you too." Gerard replied after a minute of silence. "I love you so much, Frankie."

Suddenly, they're kissing. Gerard's hand is on Frank's cheek and their lips are gently moving against one another. They pull apart, stare, and then kiss. Over and over again.

Frank's hand makes it's way from Gerard's hip to the side of his thigh underneath the robe. The mans skin is soft, damp from the shower still and Frank stops himself from going further into the robe. 

Gerard squeaked at the loss of contact and broke the kiss. "P-please." He whimpered, thrusting his hips against Frank's thigh. "Please, just... Touch me. Touch me."

Frank stared into his desperate eyes and nodded. He pushed his hand through the robe and wrapped his fist around Gerard's cock and started stroking him. He smoothed his thumb over the tip and Gerard moans, rotating his hips.

"Y-yeah..." Gerard whimpered, closing his eyes. He was breathing through his mouth noisily and every time Frank did something right a broken cry would emerge from the back of Gerard's throat.

Frank's jerks speed up and now Gerard's thrusting into his fist and writhing against the bed, panting and moaning.

He's close. Frank can tell... The way he rakes his fingers through Franks hair and the way his eyes look when he opens them. His jaw is slack and wide, mouth shining from spit. He's looking into Franks eyes with this debauched expression and Frank feels his jeans tighten around his crotch area.

"G-gonna' cum." Gerard mewled; his voice high and husky. "Oh God... Oh, fuck. M'ahhh!" He's thrusting into Frank's fist one last time and explodes, throwing his head back as he shrieks.

Frank's holding him in his hand still, smoothing his thumb over the tip of Gerard's cock again.

Gerard's breathing harshly for about a minute or two, looking up at the ceiling and making noises from the back of his throat. "Mmm..." He sighed and turned to face Frank again. "I'm sleepy."

Frank chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, me too... I'll be right back though." He pulled his cum covered hand away from Gerard and climbed out of bed, making sure not to touch anything.

He hurried to the bathroom and washed his hands and then he's grabbing a clean wash cloth, damping it under the sink. He takes it back it the guest room and over to Gerard.

"Just gonna' clean you up." He said and Gerard smiled at him sheepishly and pulled open the robe.

Frank's eyes explored his body. He was littered in cuts and bruises. Still, he smiled weakly and took a seat next to him and started to clean him off.

"Thanks." Gerard whispered, turning on his side once Frank was finished. 

"No problem." Frank said, lying back down next to the man after tossing the rag in the hamper next to the closet door across the room.

He's wrapping his arm around Gerard protectively and kissing the back of his neck. The man is sighing contently, pushing his back up against Frank's chest and making these comforting sounds.

"G'night, Frankie... M'love you." He whispered, yawning soundly.

Frank smiled, cuddling closer to Gerard. Their bodies melding against one another's.

"I love you too." He whispered back, shutting his eyes.

This is his life.


	20. Hiding

_"Please. Oh god please. Don't, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry!"_

**BANG!**

_Frank's eyes shoot open and he's sitting up in bed, fast..._

**BANG!**

_There it was again..._

_He looked down on the spot where he last saw Gerard. It was empty. He staggered out of bed like a mad man and flicked on the light switch. The room is bright now. Too bright._

_"Gerard." He called out; his voice trembling._

**BANG!**

_Frank jumped mid scream and pressed his hands up against the door. He can hear choked gasps. Pained moans--loud shuddering breaths--wet coughs and spluttering._

_"Fuck... Fuck... Fuck..." Frank panted under his breath as he squeezed his eyes shut. His heart was racing._

_"Please don't be them. Please don't be them. Please don't be them." He repeated, shaking uncontrollably as he pushed open the bedroom door._

_He stepped through, peering his eyes open and proceeded to the living room._

_Everything around him casts a shadow and it's making him feel vulnerable. The lights, the soft, wet noise he keeps hearing. It was terrifying._

_He turned until he was in the middle of his living room and looked down at the bloody, bloody floor._

_Gerard was flat on his back, dying--blood splattered all over him and his hand was pressed up against the side of his neck as his entire body convulsed repeatedly._

_His eyes were wide open and his mouth was too, dripping blood. He was crying. Blood and tears mixing. Sickly diluting the colour red._

_On the right was his ex, on the left was his daughter. They were just like Gerard._

_Dying..._

_"Daddy."_

* * *

Frank shot up in bed, gasping and soaked in sweat. He looked around for Gerard frantically, not wasting time.

He sighed, shuddering. There he was... Sleeping--snoring peacefully. Frank looked over Gerard's side and eyed the digital clock. The bright, neon red lights burned his eyes.

4:22am.

Frank looked down at Gerard again.

He blinked.

_dying--blood splattered all over him._

He blinked again.

_Sleeping--snoring peacefully._

He couldn't take it.

"Gerard..." He shook the man gently. He didn't wake up. "Gerard. Wake up." He tried again, shaking him aggressively this time.

Gerard's eyes suddenly shoot open and he groaned in annoyance. "W-wha'? Frank, what's wrong?" He asked groggily as he sat up slowly.

Frank climbed out of bed and flicked the light switch up. He pulled open the bedroom door and stepped out quickly.

He can hear Gerard calling out for him, but he ignored him and proceeded to this bedroom. He entered his walk-in closet and pulled two suitcases from the back frantically.

Gerard stepped into the bedroom, scratching his head, dishevelling his already messy bed hair. His eyes were squinty and his face made him look like he was half asleep.

"Frank..." He yawned. "What're you doing? It's 4am. Why'd you wake me up?"

Frank yanked open his dresser and pulled out a bunch of shirts and sweat shirts. He threw them into the first suitcase and continued to do so until it was full.

Gerard stepped closer, watching Frank with concerned eyes. "Frankie." Gerard whispered, grabbing the mans wrist, stopping him before he could reach for more clothes in his dresser.

Frank snapped out of it. He blinked up at Gerard and took a deep breath.

"What's wrong? What're you doing?" Gerard tried again since he now has Frank's undivided attention.

"We gottah go. We can't stay here." He yanked himself free from Gerard's grip and continued to pack.

Gerard eyed him up and down and sighed. "Why? Why now?"

Million dollar question.

"I love you, okay?!" Frank screamed and suddenly stopped packing. The outburst shocks Gerard and all he can do is stare at Frank wide eyed. That woke him up.

"Just help me..." He said after he took a breather. "Help me pack. We'll go to your place after and then I'll take you to your parents house to say goodbye."

Gerard nodded apprehensively without another word and went to Frank's closet. He grabbed a few coats and shoes and brought them over to the empty suitcase and neatly put them in.

Frank finished with the first one and zipped it closed. "I've got a few more suitcases in the back of my closet. I'll bring those just in case."

"Okay..." Gerard said quietly, going back to the closet for more clothes.

They were finished in 30 minutes and now they're dressed. They had their coffee and some breakfast. Frank gives Gerard one of his trench coats and they head out, dragging all the suitcases behind them. 

***

After they gather a few things from Gerard's place they're on their way to Gerard's parents house. They arrive in under ten minutes and there's two cars parked in the parking lot which meant that both his mother and (step)father were home.

"I can't go in there." Gerard said quickly after Frank parked the car. "He'll fucking kill me."

"Gerard. Listen to me... You have to go in and say goodbye. You may never get the chance to, okay?" Frank un clicked his seat belt. "I'll go in with you."

Gerard looked uneasy about the whole thing, but nodded regardless. "I... Okay, Frank."

He climbed out of the car and hurried to the front of his parents house. His heart felt like it was going to stop... He felt his skin start to get itchy. He wanted to turn around and run away.

He didn't want to face the man of his dreams. The man who fucking hates his guts and wants him dead.

"I can't." Gerard cried, turning to face Frank. Gerard's hands were shaking as he pulled it away from the door. "I can't do it." His voice slightly cracked.

Frank took a deep breath and stepped around Gerard. He pressed the door bell and he could've sworn he heard Gerard whimper as he did it.

"I'm here." Frank whispered and Gerard only nodded, sniffling quietly.

Footsteps can be heard from behind the door and then a cough... Like someone was clearing their throat.

"Who is it?" 

It was Eddie's voice and Gerard internally screamed in terror.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He uttered and Frank glared at him.

"Frank Iero and Gerard Way." Frank boomed and Gerard's fragile heart skipped a beat. The sound of the door unlocking is all they hear next and Gerard's grabbing onto Franks arm tightly.

"Why the hell are you here?" Eddie asked as soon as he came into view. His silvery blondish hair is messy from sleep and his skin is pale and glistening. He had clearly just woken up... _They_ woke him up.

Gerard's knees and brain gave out. He fell in front of Eddie and the older man caught him.

"What the fuck--"

* * *

"He's waking up." Eddie's voice.

"Gerard?" His mothers voice. "Sweetie."

"Gerard." Frank's voice and then a gently pat to his cheek.

Gerard's eyes blinked open and he looked around. His mother, Eddie and Frank were all gathered around him. Worried expressions etched on their beautiful faces.

Gerard frowned, sitting up a bit.

"What happened?"

"You fainted." Eddie interjected.

"And you pissed your pants." Frank added and Gerard looked down at the crotch of his pants in shock.

"Just kidding." Frank chucked and Eddie laughed, shoving Frank playfully.

Gerard lied back down on the bed he was in... Eddie's and his mother's bed. He sighed in relief.

"Frank told me everything, G." Eddie said quietly. "Why didn't you tell us you were in this much trouble? We could've helped."

Gerard looked into Eddie's eyes and shook his head. "I was scared. You hated me." 

Eddie hovered over Gerard and glared down at him with deep, concerning eyes that looked at him, not through him.

"I... I did for a while." He admitted and Donna sighed sadly in the background. "But I'll always love you and I want you safe."

Gerard can feel the trickle of tears going down his face and he sniffled; his bottom lip trembling. "I love you too." He whispered. "Did Frank tell you I'm here to say goodbye?"

Eddie nodded and Donna stepped forward and took a seat on the bed. She pulled Gerard into a tight embrace. "You have to call us when you get to where ever it is you're going. Okay?"

Gerard nodded against her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her.

He didn't want to leave anymore.

"Can I see Mikey?" He asked after the hug breaks.

Donna looked at Eddie and Eddie nodded stiffly. "He's still asleep." He said as he walked out of the bedroom.

Mikey's room was across the hall and when Eddie goes to his room and wakes him up they can all hear the little boy whine out as his father disturbs his sleep.

Eddie mentioned Gerard and suddenly Mikey's bursting through the bedroom door and screaming his older brothers name as he jumps onto his mother and father's bed excitedly. Gerard's arms are wrapped around his baby brother in a heartbeat. 

Frank watched the scene with a small smile on face and he starts to feel sad. Gerard was going to have to leave all of this. He saw the way Eddie looked at him. The way Donna looked at him... They loved him so much. and the only reason they'd been hard on him is because they want him safe.

"We gottah go now G. We need to hurry."

Gerard's released his brother, sniffling and wiping the tears out from under his puffy eyes. He nodded stiffly and climbed out of bed, slowly.

Donna and Eddie show them out and when they're at the front door Eddie grabs Gerard's hand.

"Wait..." The older man whispered and Gerard faced him with saucer eyes. 

"Huh?"

"C'mere." 

Eddies spreads his arms apart and Gerard's eyes go straight to his masculine chest. "Dad..." He whimpered.

Eddie smiled weakly at him and before he knows it Gerard's throwing his arms over his shoulders, tip toeing to do so. 

"I'm sorry... About everything." Eddie whispered, burying his face in Gerard's hair. "I'm sorry I... I'm sorry I hurt you. I want you to know I never meant to."

Gerard dug his chin into Eddie's shoulder and nodded his head frantically, trying to hold in his sobs. 

Eddie felt so good... He was warm. Gerard still wanted him. After all the shit he said and did... He still needed Eddie's touch.

"I know... And that's why I never stopped loving you." Gerard said, barely audible so that only Eddie could hear. They were meant for his ears only.

They break apart slightly and Gerard looked into the older mans eyes. He blinks and now he's looking at his lips. Soft, pale rose... He tastes like rum and cinnamon. Gerard wants to kiss, but he doesn't. Eddie smiles weakly at him almost like he knew what the younger man was thinking and flicks his nose playfully... Fatherly.

"Call us when you get to wherever you're going."

Frank grabbed ahold of Gerard's hand and pulled him through the front door. "Don't worry. He will."

Gerard just stares at Eddie and his mother as Frank dragged him to the car. He stumbled once or twice and when Frank gets the passenger side open for him and helps him in he's still looking at the man and woman standing at the front door. 

The car starts once Frank hops in and closes the door behind him. Gerard's looking out the window now, pressing his hand up against it.

He can see Eddie's lips move... He's mouthing: _I love you too_.

Suddenly, Gerard's heart drops as he watches his first love turn into a speck of nothing as Frank drives further and further down the road.

* * *

_One last thrust. One last scream. One last sigh of relief._

_He can open his eyes now and he's looking down at his step son's watery hazel eyes and shiny, swollen lips. He looks like a painting. A fucking dirty work of art and Eddie can't help but fall against him._

_He didn't want to see the mess he made. He didn't want him to exist anymore. He was far too beautiful to be real._

_"Why do you do that?" Gerard asked breathlessly, smoothing his clammy hands down the older man's sweaty back._

_Eddie shifts against Gerard's frame, still buried inside him._

_"Do what?"_

_Gerard drags his nails down Eddie's back and tightens his legs around his waist._

_"Why do you hide from me?"_

_Eddie lifts his head slightly and looks down at Gerard's vacant yet debauched facial expression and chuckles._

_"I'm not hiding from you."_

_Gerard licks at his own bottom lip feverishly and shakes his head slowly._

_"You're afraid to look at me."_

_Now Eddie's getting up, pulling out of Gerard by moving his hips back. Gerard gasps at the sudden loss and sits up instinctively._

_"Not this shit again." Eddie groaned, grabbing his boxers off the floor. "Can we just fuck without the weird questions afterwards?"_

_Gerard's kicking his legs off the edge of the bed and running his fingers through his hair frantically. He's watching Eddie gather his things and he wants to say something that'll make him stay longer, but he knows how the older man got when Gerard made him _feel_._

_"I know these little mind games you play might be fun for you... But just stop it."_

_Eddies getting dressed quickly, aggressively and Gerard sighs, tentatively tapping his hand on his bed._

_"Stay the fuck out of my head!"_

_He barges out of the teenagers room on that note and slams the door behind him. He marches down the stairs, shirt unbuttoned and jeans unzipped. He's got his socks in his hand and his hair is sticking up in the air like he's standing in front of a fan._

_He wanted to punch something... Someone. He settles for the kitchen counter once he steps through the door and then stands there... Breathing harshly through his nose. Fists still clenched, eyes red and wet... He looks up at the liquor cabinet and stares at it with an Angel on his shoulder admonishing him not to drink._

_He tells the Angel to fuck off and pulls open the liquor cabinet. He grabs his favourite rum and then a glass._

_Gerard's lying in bed. It's been an hour since Eddie left his bedroom and he can't stop crying. He didn't want things to have to end like that all the time. He wanted Eddie to talk to him... He wanted the man to share things with him._

_A loud groan comes from behind his bedroom door and Gerard pushes himself up on his elbows and presses against his headboard cautiously._

_The knob to his bedroom jingles a few times before the door flies open._

_"Eddie." Gerard whimpered, pulling his blankets against his chest._

_The older man stumbles in, flicking the lights on. He takes a seat at the end of Gerard's bed, a half empty glass of straight rum in his hand._

_"Listen..." He started, slurring terribly. "I just think that... That... Y'know?"_

_Gerard stares at him, dumbfounded._

_"That... What?" He asked, speaking slowly. He had to choose his words wisely and how he said them. Eddie was a temperamental drunk and almost always took things the wrong way. He didn't like to be judged._

_"... Fuck." He clamoured, shaking his head apprehensively. "I don't want to get into this, G. I just wanted to see you... I just. I thought that it would be okay to fuck you once or twice. But I can't stop. I think about it all the time... At fucking work. With your fucking mother. It's getting bad. It's bad. Okay?"_

_Gerard visibly and audibly swallows the lump in his throat and bobbed his head stiffly. "Okay..."_

_"Shhh... Don't say shit." He sticks his free hand up in Gerard's direction and takes a swig of his rum._

_Gerard remained silent, but nodded again._

_"I'm not hiding when I don't look at you while we're fucking. I'm just trying not to fucking lose my mind." He hiccuped and Gerard shifts, lying on his back slowly._

_"You make these noises... And you move your hips like... I just think I'm gonna' go crazy every time I'm with you... I'm fucking ashamed."_

_Unnerving silence follows after the confession and then Eddie's standing up, setting his glass on Gerard's computer desk after he throws it back._

_"We're gonna' try this again, okay?"_

_Eddie starts to take his blouse off, slowly, staring down at Gerard hungrily._

_"No questions, okay?"_

_Gerard nibbles on his bottom lip and nods, shooting Eddie a coy yet sultry gaze. He moves the blankets aside once Eddie locks the bedroom door and climbs into bed, gripping his cock. Gerard's legs automatically part for the older man as he watches him stroke himself to full arousal._

_"Legs up." Eddie commanded and Gerard obeyed, propping his legs over either side of his step father's broad shoulders._

_Eddie stops stroking himself and spits into the palm of his hand. He moves two digits towards the cleft of Gerard's exposed ass and presses the fingers in without hesitation._

_Gerard moans quietly and looks down to watch Eddie's fingers go in and out of him._

_"Right... Right... Alright." He yanked his wrist back after a minute of prepping and re gripped his cock. He presses the tip against Gerard's entrance and slips inside, gasping and shuddering when the younger mans tight heat engulfs him._

_And just like the drug Gerard is he makes Eddie black out and all he could do is grip Gerard's hips and pound into him. Over and over again._

_"Shit. Shit. Shit... Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" Eddies hips stuttered and his grip on Gerard's ankle tightened. He cums hard and all the blackness turns to white._

_Gerard's looking up; his hand going through Eddie's blonde hair while his other slides down his sweaty chest. Eddie opens his eyes and stares down at Gerard. His mouth parted and his eyes heavily lidded._

_He continues to stare and Gerard just stares right back until he's smiling, giggling uncontrollably and throwing his head back._

_"Now you're ashamed." Eddie laughed, letting Gerard's legs fall off his shoulders and wrap around his waist like déjàvu._

_Gerard looks at him again and shakes his head. He grins and leans up to peck Eddie on the lips. Soft and slow... He pulls back just to whisper..._

_"Never."_

He was never ashamed.


	21. Disaster

Pit stops... Food stops... Piss stops. And then finally, motel city. Frank knew they would have to stay somewhere in the meantime--before they got to California. The car was too uncomfortable and Gerard couldn't handle it. He needed a moment for himself to let everything that just happened sink in.

"Here. We're here." Frank tapped the hookers shoulder.

He had been snoring and talking in his sleep and Frank was so used to it that when he stopped he felt empty in the silence. Numb almost.

"M'uh? Wha--" he sat up and looked around frantically. It seemed he'd forgotten where he was. Where he was sleeping.

"Motel... C'mon. Let's check in."

Frank handles checking in and when they get to the room he pushes the door open and let's Gerard go in first.

He looks around; his arms wrapped around himself and coughing quietly. He takes a seat on the end of the creaky, neatly made bed as he continued to look around absentmindedly. 

"Not too shabby, right?" 

Frank said and locked the door behind them. He looked around, nodding and humming to himself.

"At least there's a kitchen and a bathroom... We can stay here for a week. What do you think?" 

Gerard cringed at the small talk.

"Y-yeah..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing... It's nothing."

"... You don't like it."

"Frank." Gerard sighed and pressed his fingers through his scalp. "No. It's not that... I just. I want silence. Okay?"

Frank glared at him, standing in the middle of the room. His eyes weren't hard or judgemental, but he didn't look at ease.

"I... Um, yeah... Sure." He walked towards the bathroom and pulled open the door. "I'll take a quick shower. You can go next. Can you go out and grab my suitcase? The one in the back seat. Not the trunk."

Gerard nodded and hopped off the bed. He grabbed the car keys off the wall hook and pulled open the front door.

"Thanks."

Frank said, but Gerard had already shut the door behind him.

* * *

The air is dry and cold. Gerard can't breathe... The sound of the wind blowing and cars driving by aren't helping either. Why was it so hard to get some peace and fucking quiet?

All he wanted was to clear his mind and go blank, but that even proved to be impossible. He couldn't stop thinking about his situation with Eddie... With M... With Frank.

What the fuck did he want?

He's halfway to the car and stops midway. He knew what it took to calm his nerves. A line. A single... White line. But he didn't have any on him so a cigarette would suffice.

Coughing into his fist he used his other hand to reach into his back pocket and pulled out his crumpled cigarette pack and pulled one out with his lips.

Lighter.

He reached into his side pocket and groaned out in frustration. He must've left it at Frank's.

"Needa light?" 

Gerard turned to deep voice and jumped a bit, surprised to hear an unfamiliar voice out of no where like that so suddenly.

"Fuck, man!?" He exclaimed, dropping his cigarette from between his lips. 

"Whoa, ay, sorry! Didn't mean to make you shit your pant's!" The man had his large hands pulled out in front of him in defence. "Looks like you're gonna' need another cig. Here." He pulled one out from his pack and stuck it out for Gerard to take.

Gerard sniffed and folded his lips together. He eyed the man up and down and decided he seemed and looked decent enough to trust.

"Thanks..." He murmured and quickly retrieved the smoke with the tips of his fingers.

"Light?" He pulled out a basic, black lighter and leaned into Gerard's shoulder space as he moved his hand in front of his face.

Gerard stepped forward a bit, but tipped his head back with the cigarette balanced in between his chapped lips and the man lit it for him, cupping the flame to prevent the cold, harsh winds from blowing it away.

He lights his own now, leaning up against the rusty blue pick up truck parked in front of Frank's car.

"You stayin' here?" The man asked and Gerard nodded and pressed the cigarette against the pucker of his lips. "Me too... Just got here actually. Room 109B."

"Yeah?" Gerard asked, licking his bottom lip. He figured since this guy gave him a light he might as well fucking talk to him. It wouldn't hurt to be cordial, right? "What's your story?"

"Wife... Ex wife. Kicked me out. She caught me cheating." He laughed bitterly and exhaled his thick cloud of cigarette smoke in Gerard's direction. "What's your deal?"

Gerard tipped his head to the side, sizing the man up. He had a full beard also thick, pushed back brown hair and aggro blue eyes. His hands looked rough and his knuckles were bruised. The long sleeved plaid shirt he was wearing had bits of blood and smudges of dirt on it. 

Bar fight. 

He was definitely client material. A divorced, middle aged man who he needed to let some steam out and the only way to do that was...

Gerard laughed at the thought and moved closer to him. 

"Same." He lied with a convincing smile on his face. "D'you wanna' go get a drink with me somewhere?"

* * *

Frank hopped out of the shower and wrapped the towel he grabbed from the rack around his waist. He felt refreshed and like a whole new person. All the dirt, sweat, grime and stress had washed away in the shower drain.

Now, all he was worried about was Gerard... He seemed... Distracted. Well, more than usual and it was bothering Frank. 

He probably needed a shower, good food and decent sleep. Yeah, basically everything a human needs to function properly on a day to day basis.

"Gerard." Frank called out, opening the bathroom door slightly. "Did you get the suitcase?"

Silence.

"Gerard?" 

Frank pushed open the bathroom door completely and stepped out. He looked around and then stepped over to the balcony and slid open the door.

No Gerard.

"Where the hell did you go..."

* * *

"And that's why I fucking cheated on her."

Gerard's hand was on Bill's--was his name--thigh by their third shot of whiskey. It was a trick of his and it was actually quite easy for him to perform. Bill was straight, but still showing blatant interest in the hooker.

It was no surprise for Gerard. He had many clients who were allegedly 'straight' and they were the ones who would flip him over on his stomach, pull his hair and call him Sally or something. He was used to it. One of the main reason he grew his hair long... Wider variety of cliental. It was a win-win for him. Plus, he really liked having long hair.

"That's a really good reason. It doesn't seem like she really loved you, y'know?" Gerard slurred slightly, leaning in closer to allow his hand to slide further up Bill's lap.

Bill looked down at the hooker's hand and then up to his face.

"Why'd you cheat on your wife?"

He didn't bother to mention Gerard's hand nearing his crotch.

Gerard giggled in between hiccups as he pushed his free hand through his own hair in a rehearsed manner. He then pulled the man closer to him by his sleeve and pressed his lips against his ear.

"For cock." He whispered; his hand now against the mans bulge, gripping him through his jeans.

Bill pulled back slightly and looked Gerard up and down. He's silent for a moment, distinguishing the right and wrong in this situation. He was leaning towards wrong, but his dick was saying otherwise.

"How much?" Bill asked just above a whisper.

Gerard pulled his hand away completely and smirked at the man deviously. He almost wanted to state how easy it was to turn him onto the idea, but he knew better... He'd learned the hard way. 

"We'll discuss that after we get out of here."

Bill jumped off his stool and slapped two twenty dollar bills on the bar as the bartender walked by.

"Keep the change." He told her, grabbing his coat off the back of his seat and Gerard did the same with a crooked, knowing smile etched on his face.

* * *

Frank was sitting on the motel bed in boxers and a baggy teeshirt. He had his cell in his hand and he's staring at the time, checking for missed calls and text messages that weren't coming in... At least not from Gerard.

He sighed and got up. He might as well head out and pick up some food from the nearest market. Wherever Gerard was he was most likely going to be hungry when he got back.

He grabbed his jeans from the lounge chair in the corner of the room and slipped them on quickly. He grabbed his wallet off the nightstand and stuffed if in his back pocket.

Once he double checked himself for everything he'd need he realised Gerard still had the car keys and cursed under his breath.

Still, he exited the motel room leaving the door unlocked behind him and hurried down the stairs and over to his car.

"Fucking hell Gerard..."

His key was in the drivers door and he unlocked it, cursing under his breath some more. He hopped in and started it. He waited until the engine heated up a bit and then backed out of the parking spot and proceeded down the main road, eyes glued to the road and hands tightly gripping the steering wheel.

He hoped Gerard would be in the room when he got back... 

* * *

The first thing Gerard noticed when they got back to the motel was Frank's car. It wasn't there so that meant he'd either stepped out for personal reasons or was on one person search party for him. Either way Gerard was relieved. He smiled at Bill as he parked his truck in the spot it had been in before.

"Looks like your car's gone." Bill stated, getting out of his truck. Gerard followed his lead.

"Not my car. It's my roommate's. He most likely stepped out... So that means we can go to my room."

"Why can't we just go to mine?" Bill rose a brow at him and Gerard took his hand and started to lead him up stairs to the second floor.

"Well, to be honest I'll feel a lot safer in my room. You get it... Right?"

Bill shrugs and Gerard cranes his neck to look back at him. "Just for a little bit... Then we'll go to your place. How's that sound?"

"That's fine."

Gerard smiles and turns forward. He opens the unlocked door and steps in, looking around apprehensively after he flicks on the light. Bill slowly enters behind him and closes the door gently.

"So..." Gerard plopped down on the end of the bed and kicks his shoes off. "I charge $350 for first timers."

"Seems fair. I got it right here." He fished his wallet out from his back pocket and grabs two hundred dollar bills and three fifties." He sat it down on the nightstand and proceeded to take his shirt off and then his jeans.

Gerard watched him and then followed his lead. He started with his pants first and then his shirt. He left his underwear on until Bill told him to take them off.

"Lube and condoms?" Gerard whispered and Bill nodded and picked his jeans up off the ground and grabbed for his wallet again. He pulled a condom out of it and then shot Gerard an apologetic stare.

"I don't have any lube."

"It's okay... Um, I might have some actually..." 

Gerard climbed out of bed and went over to the suitcase in the corner of the room. He unzipped the smallest compartment and pulled out the container of lube. There wasn't much, but it would do.

"Here." Gerard tossed it to the larger man and climbed back into bed--this time crawling under the blankets.

Bill smirked at him and joined him in the duvets. He uncapped the tube of lube and squeezed a decent amount into the palm of his hands 

"Could you... Y'know... Prep yourself while I--"

"Yeah, of course... Yeah." Gerard retrieved the bottle of lube and squeezed some into his hand. He drops it somewhere in the bed and then uses his clean hand to pull his underwear down until their around his ankles and then off.

Bill's already jerking off, lathering himself up with the lube. And now it's Gerard's turn. He's pressing one slick finger inside himself with a groan. He was still a bit sore, but not so bad to the point where he'd have to stop. It was just going to be a little uncomfortable.

"I'm ready." Bill moaned, starting to climb over Gerard's smaller frame. "Oh god, fuck... C'mon, c'mon... Move your hand."

He was impatiently thrusting against the air and Gerard quickly pulls his fingers out of himself and positions his legs around the mans waist. Here it goes... It wasn't a line, or a moment of silence, but at least it made him feel nothing. Empty. Numb.

Bill's sliding in and Gerard's tossing his head back, hissing and clawing his hands into the silky duvets of the motel bed.

* * *

Frank's pulling into his parking space and he looks up at his and Gerard's motel window and notices that the light in the bedroom is on.

Good he's back, Frank thought. 

He sighed in relief and grabbed the groceries from the passenger side. Gerard was going to flip when he sees the PSL creamer.

Frank's halfway up the stairs and making his way to the motel door. He turns the knob and it's locked. He reaches behind himself and grabs the card key from his back pocket and before he slides it he hears...

"H-harder... Harder." Breathy and exaggerated, yet convincing moaning... Frank pauses, tilts his head to the side, and furrows his brows.

"What the... Fuck." He stands there, adjusting the bag of groceries in his arms and sliding the card key into the slot. He opens the door.

"Bill, oh god, Bill... Fuck me faster."

Frank's jaw is literally on the floor. He can't believe what he's witnessing... Well, he can but not like this. Not right now.

Gerard's on his knees, face down, ass up and gripping onto the wooden poles of the headboard. The man behind him is grasping his hips, pounding into him and grunting loudly with eyes shut tightly.

"Seriously?!" Frank shouted and gained the attention of the man fucking Gerard on the bed he paid for.

"Fuck!" Bill shouted; his thrusts come to a sudden halt and now he's pressed stiffly against Gerard's ass.

Gerard's head flies up from the mass of fluffy pillows and turns his head in the opposite direction Frank was in. His face is flushed and debauched. 

"M'what, why'd you stop?" He looked back at Bill, craning his neck to do so.

Bill jutted his chiseled chin in Frank's direction and wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Looks like your buddy's home."

Gerard turned to look at Frank and then whimpered when Bill shifted a bit, still buried inside of him.

"Are you kidding me right now?! Get the fuck out!" Frank screamed, pointing at Bill threateningly.

"I paid good money to fuck him. I'm not leaving until I cum, okay?" The man started up with his thrusts and Gerard's moans picked up from where he left off before Frank interrupted them.

Frank stared in disbelief and when he noticed the guys movements started to become erratic he quickly backed out of the bedroom after opening the door and stood outside and waited until they were finished.

What else was he supposed to fucking do? Watch them cum?

He waited and waited until the moaning and squeaking bed finally stopped and the front door was ripped open.

"Fuckin' needed that." Bill groaned, adjusting his open button down shirt. His jeans were snapped open and slightly revealing his pelvis and his boot laces were untied. 

Frank looked him up and down, sneering and scoffing in disgust. 

"Don't fucking come back here, okay? Stay the fuck away from him and this room." 

Bill laughed and started down the hall, shaking his hand in his sex hair while his other hand shot Frank the bird.

"Sit on it pansy." He said before disappearing around the corner.

Frank was fuming. He knew his face was red and now he needed to deal with Gerard... Lecture him like he was some horny, teenage girl who snuck a boy into her bedroom late at night.

He stormed into the room and slammed the door shut behind him, locking it as well.

"We need to talk." Frank said, cutting to the chase. "What the fuck were you thinking?!"

* * *

They'd been at it for at least ten minutes, give or take, and neither of them were getting through to the other. It was a fucking mess.

"This is one of the reasons why we left! You can't keep this shit up, okay!? No more hooking. No more Bill's, Zero's or Leo's. And especially no more M's!"

"Oh?!" Gerard feigned shock, pressing his hand to his chest and gasped exaggeratedly. "And what about Frank's, huh?!"

"What about me? I'm trying to help! I'm nothing like those... Those bastards. I fucking care!"

"No, Frank. You fucking don't! You want to control me. You don't love me."

"Are you serious?" Frank laughed bitterly, shaking his head calmly. "You're the one who's afraid of commitment. You're scared of compassion and honesty. You just had some guy in our bed! OUR bed, Gerard!"

"I'm a whore! I'm a fucking whore! I sell my body in exchange for money and drugs! What do you expect?!"

"I want you safe!" Frank screamed, shaking his finger in Gerard's face. "I care! I fucking care! You... You can't go a day without someone getting their dick in you. I have to be there to make sure it doesn't happen. But you beckon abuse!"

"Beckon abuse..?" Gerard's volume severely lowered and now his stare was even more intimidating. "I just wanted some peace and quiet. I just wanted to forget about everything that's happened to me. That guy came up to _me_ and I just so happened to need the money. How is that asking for it?"

Frank stomped on the ground like a bratty child and took a deep breath. "You could have just asked me for some money."

"Yeah?" Gerard crossed his arms over his chest. "And ask: Oh, hey Frankie... I need money for some blow. Care to spare $100. You can do a line off my ass in return."

"Gerard..."

"No... No. You know what? I'm going out. Don't wait up for me." He grabbed his coat off the coat rack and slipped it on urgently. 

"W-where are you going... At least tell me." Frank stepped in front of the door to block Gerard's way.

"Out. Now move."

Frank shook his head and spread his arms out in front of him. "Not until you tell me where you're going."

"Frank... Move."

"Tell me... Or you're not going anywhere."

Gerard stepped forward until his nose was buried in the crook of Frank's neck. He brought his hand up to the shorter man's crotch and palmed him through his sweats. Frank released a low moan and dropped his arms involuntarily, allowing Gerard to shove him aside and pull the door open.

"I'll see you whenever I decide to come back."

Frank watched him walk down the hall and round the corner until he disappeared.

What a fucking disaster.


	22. Bleed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyhey! Sorry this took a while to be updated <3 the past month has been hectic for me, but all is well now! Moral-Less is nearing completion. Just a few more chapters to go!

Room 109B.

Gerard stood in front of the motel door and stared at it for a minute or so. It was literally on the opposite side of his and Frank's room and it was too close for comfort, but still... Bill was the only other person he 'knew' and he did say he would go to his room after they fucked.

He sighed and knocked on the door, softly. He can already hear the TV's volume go down and Bill grunting following after the squeaking of the bed as he climbed off of it. The door flew open and Gerard was now staring up at the man, smiling sheepishly. 

"Hey." He said nonchalantly and then nibbled on his bottom lip as he swayed from side to side like a schoolgirl with a crush.

"Hey..." Bill said back, smirking as he leaned against frame of the door.

"May I come in?" Gerard's swaying turned to toe tipping and he folded his arms behind his back.

Bill chuckled under his breath at Gerard's behaviour and nodded, stepping aside for him to enter. "You may."

Gerard smiled and slowly walked past him to enter his room. It looked just like his and Frank's room, except everything was in the opposite direction.

"You can change the channel if you want. S'just the History Channel." Bill shut the front door closed behind him and locked both locks.

Gerard took seat at the end of the bed and shook his head slowly. "It's okay..."

Bill shrugged his shoulders and walked over to the kitchen. He pulled a water bottle from the fridge and tossed it to Gerard who went to catch it, but failed miserably.

"Man, you suck." Bill laughed, grabbing a water for himself and then closed the fridge.

"Well... You already knew that." Gerard winked and Billy spluttered some of the water in his mouth out. 

"C'mon... Not when I'm drinking."

They share a laugh and Gerard sets his water on the nightstand and kicks his shoes off before getting into bed.

"So... Are you bunking here for the night then?" Bill asked as he pulled the blanket back and hopped into bed.

"If that's okay with you... My friend, Frank, gave me a hard time. He's really fucking annoying when he tries to tell me what I can and can't do." Gerard whispered, lightly pressing his hand against Bill's naked chest.

"Sounds like he likes you. I don't blame him for getting mad though." Bills hand goes to Gerard's exposed hip and he caresses him there before pulling the hem of his dirty, striped shirt down to cover him.

"Huh?" Gerard questioned, looking the man directly in his eyes.

"Well, if I were _Frank_ I would have punched me in the face... Even though it was _your_ idea to fuck there in the first place."

Gerard scoffed loudly and rolled his eyes. "He said I beckon abuse. I didn't fucking ask to be..."

Gerard trailed off and closed his eyes. His breathing was uneven and now he's trying to calm himself down. He got so worked up over everything. It was stressful.

"... Be what?" Bill pressed, moving his hand to Gerard's cheek.

Gerard shook his head and took a deep breath as he opened his eyes slowly. He adverted his eyes down to Bill's torso. He was purposely avoiding his concerned, blue eyes.

"Be what...?"

The older man tried again when Gerard remained silent.

Sniffling, Gerard licked his bottom lip and furrowed his brows together.

"Like this." He answered quietly and Bill sighed. "I never asked to... To be the way I am. I wanna' get better. I really do, but what's the fucking point, y'know? Better only gets worse after you get use to it. I don't wanna' lose anymore."

"I know what you mean... But the point is you gotta keep fightin'."

"Fighting for what?" Gerard laughed bitterly, wiping his teary eyes. 

"For your own sake."

Gerard laughed at that and shook his head. He sat up slowly and looked around the hotel room. 

"I get that you're trying to be nice, but it's not really making me feel any better." Gerard's eyes went to the table the TV was sitting on and eye'd a Baggie of coke.

"What'll make you feel better?" Bill asked, sitting up to stare at what caught Gerard's attention all of a sudden.

"Coke." He answered truthfully and Bill immediately jumped out of bed and picked up the drug. 

"Then we'll do coke." He said and signalled Gerard to join him in front of the coffee table. "Whatever makes you feel better."

Gerard smiled and went to the man and took a seat on the floor next to him. He watched as Bill fixed up a few lines and when he was done he pulled a crumpled dollar from his back pocket and rolled it up.

"You can go first." He stuck the bill out to the hooker and Gerard gladly took it, beaming with joy.

"Thanks." He said and pressed the dollar against his nostril and leaned over the coffee table.

He needed this line. He had been having withdrawals and now he was going to fix that. Bill was going to fix that and he would have to give the man something in return.

That's how life works. 

As he ingested his line Bill's hand rubbed small circles against his lower back soothingly. 

"This is really high grade coke... So we gotta take it easy."

Gerard's head snapped back and he dropped the buck on the ground as he rigorously rubbed at his nose. His eyes were watery now, reflex tears sliding down his pink cheeks.

"My turn." Bill said and picked the dollar off the ground and re rolled it. He leaned over the table and took a quick hit.

His reaction was less violent and when he looked at Gerard he gave him a thumbs up. 

"Better?" He asked.

"Much." Gerard answered.

* * *

Frank's in bed. He's trying to sleep but there's a nagging in his brain. He didn't feel right. Nothing felt right. His cell had 34 missed calls and 67 unread text messages. 

He was reevaluating his decisions... His choices. Was he willing to die for Gerard? Was he willing to leave his family behind for him?

He hadn't thought these things through and right now he just wanted to be home. He wished he never met the man. Gerard was inconsiderate... He lacked common sense and empathy. He was now seeing everything M warned him about.

The hooker was going to be the death of him. Literally.

Frank didn't want to die. Not like this... He grabbed his cell and turned it off after he revived another text notification. He knew it was M... M or his ex wife. He was afraid of both of them to be honest.

What would he tell her? How would she take it? Would she hate him?

Frank closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He can hear a guitar singing if he strained his ears hard enough...

His answer was yes.

* * *

Three days pass by and Gerard's still with Bill. He hasn't seen Frank or spoken to him... And that's exactly how he wanted it. Frank would regret treating him like shit and so far Gerard has been proven right. He's gotten a shitload of text messages from the man and it fills him with pride and joy... And every time he reads the messages he knows Frank can see that he looked at them and that was even better.

He showed Bill the pathetic texts and he laughed and called Gerard the devil incarnate for ignoring Frank and he wouldn't deny it. He loved causing pain and misery to people who were so prone to it. Especially people who made him feel like shit for being himself.

"He doesn't even know I'm down the hall." Gerard giggled, downing his vodka lemonade. "He probably thinks I'm dead."

Bill chuckled under his breath and shook his head. "And that's a good thing?"

Gerard shoved the man playfully as he rolled his eyes. "You need to stop doing that. Be happy for me, sheesh."

"Oh, I'm filled with joy."

"Sarcastic bastard."

"Evil bastard."

"... Touché."

They share a laugh and Gerard smiles at him sheepishly. 

"But really... Give the guy a break. You're doing the exact same shit my ex wife did... She manipulated me like I was her fucking puppet. One of these days Frank's gonna' do what I did just to get away." Bill said, getting up off the floor and went to the fridge and pulled out another beer for himself.

Gerard's smile turned into a frown and he scoffed. "I'm not your ex wife."

"Then stop being so fucking malevolent."

"Malevolent?" Gerard echoed; his brows raised in confusion. That was the first time anyone's called him that... _Surprisingly_.

Bill grabs for his guitar from the corner of the room and plopped down on the bed and started tuning it. 

"I didn't stutter." He chuckled.

Gerard jumped up from the floor, after setting his drink on the coffee table, and took a seat at the end of the bed. He watched Bill play a tune and pursed his lips. He wanted to tell him that he had the right to act the way he was, but the man would find another deserving insult to call him...

"So... What do you propose I do then, huh? Should I just go back to him? And then what? Apologise?"

He watched Bill with a stern look in his eyes. He wanted to break him down a little... Make him feel bad for siding with Frank.

"I didn't say that." Bill said calmly, not looking at Gerard.

He was still playing his guitar and now he was bobbing his head to the music. Gerard gnawed down on his bottom lip and inched closer to the older man.

"I can suck him off. I can literally go over there right now and pull his pants down... And suck his dick." Gerard whispered darkly, narrowing his eyes as if he was telling a scary story.

Bill dropped his hand from his guitar and smirked deviously.

"Ho-ly shit." He laughed, throwing his head back. "You _are_ my ex wife!"

That was the last straw. 

Gerard jumped out of bed and gabbed his coat off the couch. He stuck his hand up and shot Bill the bird as he pulled open the front door.

"Aw, c'mon! I'm only kidding!"

That was the last thing Gerard heard as he slammed the door shut behind him.

* * *

Frank's out on the balcony, smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee. It's another gloomy day and still no sign of Gerard. He was starting to worry now. It's been three fucking days since he last saw him. He hoped he was okay.

If anything happened to him...

Frank shook the thought and smashed his cigarette out on the balcony railing. Gerard was fine. He was okay. 

Hopefully.

Just as Frank was about to turn his back and go into his room he spotted a mass of black and smoke lingering around it. Frank leaned over the cold, metal railing and looked down for a better look.

"Fucking asshole... His fucking ex wife. I'm not that stupid bitch. Who does he think he is... Motherfucker."

Frank watched as the person pulled back the hood of their trench coat and his eyes widened when he realised who it was.

Gerard.

And he was in one piece.

He was nearing the sidewalk that lead out of the motel region and Frank lifted his arms up and started to shout after him.

What the fuck was he thinking leaving the safe-house alone?!

"Gerard!!!" He screamed, wailing his arms around like a mad man.

Gerard didn't hear him. He was walking too fast and now he was pulling his cell out of his back pocket. He pushed a number into it and pressed the cell to his ear.

Frank continued to shout after him, but it was futile.

"Fuck." He murmured, turning back into the motel room.

He got his shirt on quickly and the his sneakers. When he's done getting dressed his rushes out of the room and down the stairs. He runs all the way to where Gerard had disappeared and looked around frantically for him. 

"Yeah, no... We're fine. We... We're at a motel..."

Frank paused as soon as he heard Gerard's voice.

"I miss you too... So much."

Frank stepped closer to where Gerard's voice was coming from. He looked around at his surroundings and realised he was behind a gas station. That meant Gerard was just a wall away. In front of the station, talking to...

Well, Frank had no idea who he was talking to.

"Yeah, no... He's not around. We can talk. Is Mom around?"

Frank's eyes widened and his heart dropped. He was talking to Eddie. His fucking step dad.

Frank wanted to round the corner and scream, _are you fucking kidding me?!_

He didn't reunite them to re hook them up! It was preposterous and extremely inappropriate.

"Good. I wish we could talk in person... I need to touch you."

Frank gagged. He was tempted to puke.

"I said I need to touch you..." Gerard repeated. He sounded nervous; his voice was low and lacked confidence.

"Yeah... No, Eddie. No. I love you."

Frank pressed his back against the wall and sighed. Gerard was fucking playing himself. No matter how many times he told Eddie he loved him he was never going to feel the same way... _That_ way.

"D-don't. Don't you fucking do this to me, man... I'm not high... No, I'm not drunk."

Eddie was accusing him of being under the influence. That's what he thought of when Gerard poured his heart out to him. Intoxication.

"Please, fucking please! Listen to me. I just... I wanna' be with you. Please come and see me... Eddie, I'll kill myself if you don't."

Desperate. That's what runs through Frank's head as Gerard begs for Daddy's attention.

"I will. I'll do it. Come see me now. I want you. I fucking want you."

Frank pushed himself off the wall and took a deep breath. This was getting out of hand now. He should do something, but he knew for a fact Gerard would flip out on him so he decided against it.

"Yeah, I'll text you the address. We can get a room... Just let Mom know it's for work. Yeah, call me when you're close. I'll wait out front when you're at the light."

Frank was losing his patience. He bit the inside of his cheeks and screamed internally. He'll be bleeding from his mouth by the time their incestuous conversation ends.

"I'll see you soon. Bye, love you too."

The call ends once Eddie says his farewells and Gerard releases a loud, dreamy sigh and a girlish squee.

Frank blinks back tears as he feels liquid roll down his chin. He pulls his hand up and daps his index and middle finger against his bottom lip. His eyes widen when he examines his fingers.

Blood.

That wouldn't be the first time Gerard made him bleed.


	23. Three Corners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M's pissed/drunk. Frank's pissed/drunk. 
> 
> More flashbacks of Eddie/Gerard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :O

M was seated in his father's dark den. He had a glass of whiskey in his hand and a cigar in the other. He was hunched over the large, mahogany desk. The lamp in front of him is the only light source in the room... And it's quiet. Extremely quiet. Except for the ice in his glass every time he takes a swig.

It's been three days... Three fucking days since Gerard and Frank got away. He had no idea where they were, but he knew he was going to find them.

... And then what?

He already knew Gerard was innocent, he had gotten the truth out of his sadistic brother yesterday.

Rick had also been raping him. When M heard the confession leave his brother's mouth he pulled his fist back over and over again until his father and other brother stopped him.

The weasel had him waste his fucking time. He almost started a goddamn gang war because of his lies. He was embarrassed. He even had to apologise to the other gang in person! Like some fucking bitch... No, like a fucking loser.

M slammed his fists down on the table and pulled his cell and gun out of his dad's desk.

Still, someone had to fucking die and he couldn't kill his brother even if he wanted to... So that meant...

M skimmed through his recent calls on his cell and pressed Synyster's number. It rings at least 3 times before the man answered.

"Yes." He answered sternly, but respectfully.

"Get the car warm... We're paying a certain hooker's daddy a little visit."

* * *

Gerard walked into the gas station he had been standing in front of for twenty minutes and went straight for the beers in the back. He looked over the selections of Mikes and settled for the strawberry lemonade one.

As he walked down the junk food aisle his eyes landed on something... Something that triggered something inside of him.

" _And about chocodile's... They're discontinued_."

He stared blankly at the box of treats and picked it up hesitantly. There it was... The Hostess label was taunting him...

He used to eat these all the time as a kid... Eddie would sit him in the grocery cart and every time they went down the snack aisle he would pick Gerard up out of the cart and allow him to reach for the treats, all the way on the top shelf, himself. When they'd get home a Eddie would pull one out and split it. They always shared the first one.

It was their ritual...

Gerard stood there... Thinking of Eddie, but missing Frank.

He damned both men for making him think about them when he saw his favourite snack. Now he didn't want it... He didn't want to look at it... It made his heart hurt.

He set the box back and took a deep breath.

He'll stick with his drink and cigarettes.

* * *

Frank couldn't stop drinking.

As soon as he got back to the motel he downed a beer... And then another, and another.

And then it's a few hours later and he wanted to move to hard liquor next. But he braced himself. He knew what would happen if he got belligerent. He had an idea in his mind, too.

He wanted to leave. He wanted to go back home and leave Gerard stranded in the middle of fucking no where. 

It was starting to feel erotic for him... Just thinking about how miserable Gerard would be without. What he would result to.

A cock-sucking, drugged out whore laid out on some crackheads shitty mattress on the floor, covered in piss snd cum. It's what he deserved. The more Frank thought about it the more he wanted it to come true. He deserved it.

Before Frank can finish his beer he hears a noise coming from outside. It sounded like a shrill... Not a scared one. A happy one.

"You came! You actually came!"

Gerard's voice echoed up and down the hall. He was muffled, most likely pressed up against Eddie like the desperate slut he is.

"Yeah... I said I was. I got us a room. It's down the hall."

Frank peeked through the peep hole and pressed his body against the door so he wouldn't fall. His legs were like jelly and he could feel his heartbeat in his throat.

All he could really catch a glimpse of is a mass of greying blonde hair and Gerard's black trench coat. They were holding hand... Well, more like Gerard was holding his hand, squeezing onto it as he dragged the older and taller man 3 rooms down.

"This it?" Gerard asked, still too loudly.

To Frank, he sounded as if he wanted to get caught... As if he wanted Frank to find them so that he could break them up.

... Wait a second.

 _Is this a test?_

Frank peeled himself off the door and unlocked it. He pulled it open, slightly, and pokes his head out.

They had just entered the room, closing it behind them with a slam.

* * *

_Gerard listened to the desperateness in his own voice. He had just asked his stepdad to fuck him..._

_He didn't know how Eddie was going to react. All he knew was that he was terrified as he waited for the the older man to process what he had just said._

_"What?" Eddie asked finally, moving his hands to Gerard's hip. He's pinning the younger man down and ramming himself against him--just once. Testing the waters. "Seriously?"_

_Gerard's still panting, rigorously massaging his fingers through his stepfather's greasy hair._

_"Y-yeah. C'mon... Fuck me... F-fuck me." He urged the older man on, lying back on his mattress._

_Eddie involuntarily slammed his hips in between Gerard's parted legs again and groaned out like a dying man._

_"Y-yeah? You want me?" He asked, breathing in and out harshly._

_Gerard just nodded, mouth wet and his tongue tracing his own bottom lip. His eyes looked lost, but they were far from it. He knew what he wanted... You just couldn't see it through all the flames and smoke._

_"What do you want?" Eddie growled, undoing his belt and throwing it across the bed._

_"Want you... I want you to fuck me." Gerard said again, this time louder and more demanding._

_"Mmm, I'm gonna' fuck you... I'm gonna' fuck you in your tight, little ass." He said as he started to push his jeans slightly below his hips._

_Gerard watched, nearly cumming from the sight of his stepfather gripping himself. He imagined it so many times... And those fantasies were nothing compared to the real thing._

_"Pant's off. Underwear too." Eddie said, still slurring. He noticed the look on Gerard's face though. He looked like he was in another place, but he obliged nonetheless._

_"That's it... Just like that... I'm gonna' give you what you want."_

_Gerard didn't doubt that. He knew he was going to have the best time of his life... He mentally and physically prepared himself just for this moment._

_Gerard allowed Eddie to help him get his pant's and underwear off and untangled them from his ankles. The older man grabbed the dark blue brief's. He stared it over intently before pressing it firmly against his nose._

_He inhaled and Gerard watched him as a giggle slipped through his lips._

_"Smells fucking nice... Flip over." The older man urged, tossing the underwear somewhere on the bed._

_Gerard obliged and angled himself in a position that allowed him to have his head down, turned to the side, with his ass slightly levitated. He knew most men doing the fucking liked this position... He was no virgin either... He liked being fucked that way best._

_He'd slept with boys in his history, math and gym class. They weren't great, but he knew they were just practice... Mere pawns... He didn't want to suck when he and Eddie finally slept together. He wanted to impress him._

_"Aw... Aw, fuck. Look at that..." Eddie praised, whispering. He used his middle and index finger to spread Gerard apart--open, to get a better look._

_The little, pink hole puckers at him and he inadvertently hums in disapproval. "Mmm... Yeah, just as I suspected."_

_Gerard cranes his neck and looks back at the man, frowning. "W-what's wrong?" He croaked._

_"You're not a virgin..." He said disappointingly, pulling his fingers away from Gerard's ass harshly. He wiped them on the sheets and pushed Gerard's lower body down on the bed roughly._

_"S-so?" Gerard said; his heart was beating lightening fast. He could feel his entire body start to shake. He thought Eddie would like that he was experienced... That other boys actually liked fucking him. It meant that he was desirable._

_"I'm not gonna' fuck a whore. You're letting every little gay boy in town stick his dick in you... And for what? What do you gain from that?" Eddie lectured, pulling his jeans back up around his waist._

_Gerard whirled around quickly and grabbed Eddie's hands. He pushed them away from his pants and started to shove them down again._

_"No... No. I swear it's not like that. It was only Thomas. He... He was my boyfriend for a year. Please... Please believe me, E-Eddie. Please. I need you. I need you." Gerard begged, inching into the older mans personal space. It was a lie of course. Half the football team, plus some, had been inside of him... But he wasn't about to tell the man of his dreams that._

_Eddie stared intensely into Gerard's hazel eyes. They were begging him to fuck him. He looked so desperate and so turned on at the same time. It was hardly because of sex. There was something else there._

_"C'mon..." Gerard whispered, crawling into his lap cautiously. "C'mon. Fuck me. Fuck me, Eddie."_

_Eddie gulped audibly and turned his head so that he wasn't looking into his stepson's eyes anymore. He can feel Gerard's hands inside his pants; his warm fist circling and sliding up and down his cock._

_"I can suck you off... I can suck your dick. You can fuck my mouth... And then you can fuck my ass... Vice versa." Gerard whispered in the older mans ear as if it were a deep dark secret... Well, it sort of was... It was a dirty, dark secret. "You can do whatever you want to me."_

_Eddie's head hits the head board and he's thrusting into Gerard's tight, warm fist._

_"Y-yeah, baby... Yeah. Fuck me." Gerard moaned, a growl slipping from the back of his throat. "Don't stop. Don't stop." He urged._

_Eddie gasped, jutting his hips up and down in a grinding motion. He wasn't even thinking anymore. Ha was only feeling._

_"Just like that... Just like that." Gerard panted, climbing off the older mans lap after he removed his hand from his cock._

_He knows if he readied himself to be fucked there was no way Eddie was going to turn him down now. So, he quickly flipped himself around and sticks his bare, eager ass in the air._

_"C'mon... N-now. Fuck me. Please."_

_Eddie, in a rush, jumped to his knees and mounted himself behind the younger man who's wiggling his ass teasingly at him. Without a second thought he slammed into him, gripping his hips with one hand while his other lays flat against the small of his back._

_Gerard gasps and shudders involuntarily._

_"Oh, fuck... Fuck, fuck. Yes!" He whimpered, craning his neck to look at the older mans expression. "Just like that." He whimpered._

_"You like that? Hm? You like it? Huh?" The older man grunted, angling his thrusts towards Gerard's spot. "Mmm, fucking love it. Feels fucking nice, right?"_

_Gerard just whimpered loudly and nodded frantically. He knew Eddie was vocal... He'd been waiting such a long time for the sound of the older man in this state to go to his ears and his ears only. Not his mother's._

_Eddie moved his hand from the small of Gerard's back and tangled it in the back of his head, yanking him back by strands of his greasy, black hair. "Say it. Say you love it. Say you love my dick." He grunted harshly, causing him to spit down on Gerard's pale back._

_Gerard gasped, harshly, intaking a sharp breath. "I-I love it. I fucking love your dick."_

_Eddie let go of Gerard's hair, allowing his head to fall forward again._

_"Damn right..."_

_He's silent after that... The only sound that seems to be audible is their harsh breathing, sound of moist skin slapping against one another and the slick, wet noise of Eddie's cock going in and out of Gerard._

_Gerard knows it can last a long time. He'd fucked plenty of drunk guys after coming out of clubs and house parties. Some of them lasted, maybe, five minutes while most could carry on for thirty minutes to an hour._

_Gerard could feel his orgasm bubbling in the pit of his belly. He could feel the tickling sensation course throughout his entire body... From his tippy toes to the top of his head._

_"Nnn'ah!" He nearly screamed when the black wave started to crash over him. He pressed the palm of his hands flat down on the bed and fucked himself against Eddie rigorously, trying to earn his orgasm and also bring the blonde man to his._

_"There you go... Lemme hear you cum... Yeah, baby. Get all nice and wet for daddy."_

_Gerard lost it after that. He nearly passed out from his aggressive orgasms and was still involuntarily grinding his ass against Eddie's cock even after he'd cum inside of him..._

_Finally, after a minute, Eddie slowly and gently slid out of Gerard, hand pressed numbly against the small of his back. He swore until his cock was free and wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand._

_They both panted loudly, heaving and trying to catch their breath._

_Once Eddie regained his composure he climbed out of bed and slipped his loose fitted, blue jeans on. Gerard flipped himself to his side and watched him, pushing himself up with shaky arms and smiled in Eddie's direction._

_Eddie got done strapping his belt on when he looked up and looked Gerard in the eyes. He wanted to fucking vomit. He'd allowed his stepson... He'd allowed himself to be seduced by him. His fucking stepson._

_"So..." Gerard started, licking his lips with a giggle. "Was I good?" He asked, letting his naïveté get the best of him._

_Eddie fixed his askew button down and adjusted his collar. "Um..." He coughed, staring over the boys soft, porcelain body. "Listen." He said urgently, darting his eyes up and down Gerard's doll-like face._

_Gerard perked up. He was eager to hear anything Eddie had to say to him. "Yes?" He whispered, fluttering his eyelashes innocently._

_Eddie suddenly felt extremely sober. He needed to be drunk for this. He couldn't handle the intense amount of guilt and regret filling his brain._

_"Don't tell your mom, okay?" He started for the door, but Gerard had quickly jumped out of bed and yanked him back, by the sleeve of his shirt._

_"Eddie." He said meekly. "I love you... You know I do. And I want you to take me whenever you want. You can have me any time... Okay?" Gerard wrapped his arms around the taller mans shoulders, tip toeing to do so. He kissed his cheek and Eddie just nodded stiffly, leaving his arms to his sides._

_He was afraid to say no to him... He would tell his mother if he angered him._

_Gerard smiled and pulled away slowly. He looked into his stepfather's eyes and then suddenly he wanted to be taken by him again... Over and over again._

_"I'll see you tomorrow, Gerard... Get some sleep." Eddie said quietly, cutting through Gerard's thoughts._

_"Okay... G'night Eddie." He said, smiling weakly._

_Eddie just turned around and headed out without another word. And as soon as he was gone Gerard sighed dreamily and squealed, throwing himself against his bed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cringed a lot writing that Eddie/Gerard scene. I almost didn't want to post it...  
> ( ; _ ; )/ ugh.


	24. Bingo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beggars can't be choosers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super duper sad to say that this fic is nearing its end (I said this before but now I'm certain) Maybe 1-2 chapters left :,) it was an amazing journey and I'm so happy I still have at least a few updates to go <3
> 
> Oh and sorry for the long wait!
> 
> Enjoy :3

_M knocked on Gerard's parents front door and rung the door bell until Eddie stepped out. He looked shocked... Confused even. But could you blame him?_

_They've only met once and it had been when Gerard was trying to get into the house to see Mikey without permission. Their meeting wasn't particularly a good one either. Eddie called him a spineless, son-napping thug and then kicked them out after he'd slapped Gerard up a bit in front of Mikey and his mother._

_It was tragic. Gerard cried for days._

_When Eddie answers the door his eyes are narrow as if he'd just woken up, but M knew better. He had spoken to Gerard some time that day and was getting ready to head out to see him. He could see it all over the pervert's face._

_Gerard didn't know, but M knew about their sick relationship. He saw and heard the way Gerard talked about the older man. He fucked him. He fucking loved him._

_"He's completely screwed. Isn't he?"_

_Is the first thing that comes out of Eddie's mouth when they're in front of one another. M just raises his brows and stuffs his hands in his pockets, touching the gun._

_"Kind of."_

_He answered, looking behind the tall man with wandering eye. He was trying to distract himself. He was so tempted to bash the older mans face in._

_"Are you going to let me in?"_

_He cocks the gun and it clicks loudly in his pocket. Suddenly, Eddie looks terrified, staring at him wide eyed he steps aside, nodding frantically._

_"J-just... Just don't do anything to my family, okay? They're asleep."_

_M smiled, stepping inside._

_"I would never."_

* * *

"Tell me..." Eddie started, locking the motel door behind them. "Why do you love me so much?"

Gerard took a seat at the end of the bed and shrugged off his coat. He watched Eddie step further into the dingy bedroom and discard his own coat as well.

"I don't know... I just do." Gerard whispered. His heart started racing as Eddie sat down next to him.

It was the truth. Till this very day he still didn't understand why he was so... In love with his step father. There had to be a reason, but he couldn't even bring himself to spit it out. There really was no explanation to be honest. It was just the way he felt.

Their knees are touching now and Eddie's hand is on Gerard's thigh, rubbing sensually.

"... Maybe it's because you're very physically attracted to me... Is there anything in particular that you like about my body?"

Gerard swallowed the lump in his throat as Eddie asked his question... His impossible question to answer with just one, straight answer.

Of course there wasn't anything in particular. Gerard loved everything about him... His voice, his skin, his smell. He loved all of Eddie. He was a walking talking perfect package.

"No... Eddie, you know why I called you here. We both know what I want... What I need..." 

Gerard leaned into his step father's personal space, pushing his hands into the older mans lap. The bed creaked loudly as Gerard straddled him. Eddie laid back completely on the bed and Gerard's starting to grind down on him, his ass on Eddie's hardening, constricted crotch.

"Frank doesn't know where I'm at. He won't find us."

Eddie stared questioningly in Gerard's eyes.

"You're worried someone'll see us like this. Don't be."

Eddie closed his eyes and took a deep breath once that weight was lifted off his shoulders. No one would find them.

Gerard was undoing his pants, unbuttoning and zipping them down. His boxers are next and Gerard's off of him now, standing at the end of the bed and tugging off Eddie's pants and boxers.

"You don't have to do anything if you don't feel like it... Do you want a drink?"

Gerard pulled his own shirt off and went to the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of water and brought it over to Eddie.

"Yeah... Um, actually... Can you run out to my car and bring the rum. I brought it from home." Eddie said as he sat up slowly, pulling the blanket over his lap after he retrieved the water bottle from Gerard.

"Sure. Of course. Anything for you." Gerard pulled his coat on and buttoned it up to cover his naked chest.

He shot Eddie a warm smile and grabbed his car keys off the table before heading out.

Gerard takes a step out. It's fucking cold. He closes the door behind him and then starts to make his way down the hall...

One. Two. Three. Four...

One. Two. Three. Four...

One. Two. Three. Four...

Gerard unlocked Eddie's truck and pulled open the back seat. There was the liquor that he mentioned, resting on the cushion on the further end. Smiling, Gerard crawled in and reached for the bottle. 

He grabs it and backs out of the truck, slowly.

Suddenly... He hears foot steps. Heavy, loud foot steps. He's heard those steps before. The walk was unique.

He climbed out of the truck urgently and whirled around to see who was nearby. 

"Hello?"

He called out, stuffing the bottle of liquor under his arm quickly. He's trying to go for the switchblade in his boot and when he retrieves it he still has his eyes forward, looking for the person who owned the foot steps.

It's fucking dark out... He can only see his breath. All but one light pole is working and it's not even in his area.

"Eddie. Is that you...?"

The foot steps stop. 

Gerard takes a deep breath and slightly lowers his switch blade. 

"Whoever's out there... This isn't fucking funny!" He goes to turn around and the foot steps start up again. Faster and louder. Gerard fucking jets back up the stairs to his and Eddie's room. 

He slammed the door open as soon as it's in his reach and he runs into the room, kicking the door behind him like a madman.

His heart was racing and his body was trembling. He couldn't breathe. Someone was out there... Watching him.

"Whoa, hey. What's the matter?" Eddie asked, flicking off the television. He sat up urgently and pulled the blankets back.

"D-did someone follow you from home?" 

Gerard peered out the window quickly before going to the small kitchen area.

Eddie climbed out of bed, naked, and went to Gerard's side. He touched the younger mans shoulder and massaged him there soothingly. To calm his nerves.

"No. Why?"

Gerard looked up at him and then looked down at the floor.

"I'm... I'm paranoid. I just... I keep thinking M's... That M's gonna' find me and fucking kill me, y'know?"

Eddie perched his hand under Gerard's chin and lifts his head up so their eyes could meet.

"Shhh... No. No, baby. Don't be paranoid, okay? Unwind. Have a drink."

The older man grabbed the bottle of rum from the table and twisted it open. He then grabbed a cup from the cupboard and poured a large shot for the shook up younger man. He stuck the cup out for him to take with a smile on his face.

"Here..."

Gerard stared at it for what felt like an eternity before taking it from Eddie's hand daintily. He said his thanks and then downed the entire shot.

"See... Now don't think about that lunatic, okay? He's not here. If he was I wouldn't let him get anywhere near you."

Giggling, Gerard sat the cup back on the counter and then wrapped his arms around Eddies waist. "You make me feel so safe." He said, beaming.

Eddie pressed a quick kiss to the top of Gerard's head and smiled.

"Good."

* * *

_"He just... He won't leave me alone. He keeps calling me... He keeps bringing me back to that dark place. I can't keep this up. If... If his mother finds out she'll divorce me. I'll never be allowed to see my son. I can't have that happen. I can't let him do this to me."_

_Eddie ran his fingers through his greying hair frantically. He was at his desk; his elbows on the surface._

_M was in the chair in front of his desk, looking like he gave a shit when he really didn't, but Eddie already knew that. He just wanted someone to vent to._

_"So what're you gonna' do about it?" M asked, deep and loud, folding his hands on top of the desk gently._

_Eddie looked at him slowly with a new spark in his eyes. He looked crazed... Demonic. Mostly tired, but there was still something nightmarish there._

_"I've... I've thought about killing him. A lot. Mainly when I'm fucking him, but only because that's when I want to do it."_

_Eddie looked from side to side to avoid M's judgemental eyes. Little did he know the younger man has done worse. A lot worse._

_"You want him to disappear. I get it. And it's easiest to do that when you've got him right where you want him."_

_Eddie's spark comes back again and he snaps his head back in the center, snapping his fingers at M as if he were saying 'BINGO'._

_"Yeah! But... But when he makes me, y'know, it was always here. I couldn't kill him here..."_

_M hummed in thought and leaned forward, pressing his elbows on Eddie's desk._

_"I see... Well, that call that you got from him... We can use that. We can end him for good. No more darkness, Eddie. No more guilt trips. You fucked your step son, man. You've been inside him like a lover. I have too."_

_Eddie was sweating now. He was nervous. To think about killing Gerard was one thing, but actually going through with it? It was... It was... Such a sigh of relief. He would be able to take their tryst to the grave._

_"So...?"_

_M laughed at Eddie's lack of imagination and sat back in his seat, folding his arms behind his head._

_"We'll give him what he wants."_

* * *

"I want it... I want it, Eddie. I want it..." 

Gerard trailed off with a whimper; his mouth was wet and his eyes were clouded with lust and each time Eddie corkscrewed fingers against his spot he saw stars.

The lights were off, but the 32'inch TV was on and emitting a blue light. It was freezing out, but the bedroom was hot. Steamy almost, and the only noise that could be heard is their moans and the moist sound skin-on-skin contact.

Eddie couldn't stop. He was practically drooling as he penetrated the younger man hovering over him. His other hand was holding him apart, digging his nails into the warm, thick flesh.

He knew he had to remove his fingers soon, but this is what he was going to miss the most. He loved fucking this man... Hearing him beg. He was going to miss it so fucking much.

"Tell me what you want, baby. You gotta beg daddy for it."

He slapped the taunt flesh of the younger mans ass, earning a surprised yelp from him. His was trembling, threatening to give out above him.

Gerard shifted above Eddie, adjusting his hands so that they were now wrapped around the mans throat.

"F-fuck me. Please, fuck me. P-please just fuck me."

He looked into Eddie's eyes and that's when the older man slipped his fingers out of him. He gasped when he was no longer filled and took a deep breath when Eddie's hands went to either side of his hips.

"Keep begging. Don't stop." Eddie urged, lifting his hips until his cock was flush against the cleft of Gerard's ass.

Gerard cringed a good cringe and groaned, grinding down against Eddie's movements. He was so messed up right now. Those shots of rum went straight to his head and all he could feel is intense waves pleasure.

"D-don't be a tease, Eddie. Please, please, please... Fuck me, please. I'm fucking begging you. _Please_."

This was a lot deeper than sex. This was years of being denied, being deprived. He didn't want to beg anymore, but it was all he knew. It's all he _knows_ with Eddie.

He didn't want to beg. He was sick of it. 

Eddie's suddenly flipping them over, pinning Gerard to the bed by holding his wrists together above his head. Gerard's quick to try and break free, squirming and moaning.

"Yeah? Say please one more time. Say it louder."

Gerard's dizzy. He thrashes his head from side to side. He doesn't want to fucking beg...

"Eddie... Eddie. I feel sick. I just... P-plea—just fuck me. _fuckmefuckmefuckme_." He tries to thrust up against Eddie's erection with his own, but the older man lifts his hips to get further away.

Eddie hacks up saliva from the back of his throat and spits sharply against Gerard's cheek. It slides down towards his chin and down his throat.

"You call that begging? Don't you fucking love me? Aren't I the man of your dreams... You can't possibly think that that's the best you can do. Do you want me to hurt you? I'll hurt you."

Gerard whimpered, still attempting to break his hands free from Eddie's strong grip. He shakes his head. He no longer knows what the hell is going on. He doesn't know what he wants anymore...

Suddenly, it hits him... He's not begging for sex. He's begging for his life.

"Eddie..." 

He whispered calmly and now he has Eddie's conscious attention. The room was still spinning, but not as bad. He could actually see the look in the older mans eyes. They weren't the eyes he loves. Loved. He knew this day would come...

"Just fucking kill me already."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> （；＿；）*sweating*


	25. So Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! The end of Moral-Less! I just want to thank you all for your lovely feedback. You all are so kind and I love every single one of you! <3 
> 
> It was so much fun writing this and seeing your comments. I literlly wouldn't have been able to get through this entire fic without any of you guys :) thank you so, so, soooo much. 
> 
> This is probably one of the shortest chapters--next to the Prolofie, but I hope you'll still enjoy<3

_Eddie already knew he wasn't going to go through with M's plan. How could he? He fucking adored Gerard. He wasn't going to let anything bad happen to him. Especially while he was around._

_Before he left his home he crept into Mikey's room and watched him sleep. It may be his last time ever seeing his son. His last time hearing him snore._

_Eddie smiled._

_"So long, little guy."_

* * *

Frank was sober now. So sober he felt like he needed at least a buzz do pull the shit he was about to pull. He knew he was going to be out of line, but there was hope that he wouldn't be.

He couldn't bring himself to go to the door of the room Eddie and Gerard went into, but he had to. He had to make Gerard realize what he's doing is wrong. That he was just fooling himself.

What if M had followed the older man? What if, God forbid, M was plotting with Eddie. He wouldn't kill Gerard though... He loved him. But he would make sure that he would never step out of line again.

Suddenly, Frank was scared for Gerard...

"I can't." Frank groaned, pacing back and forth in front of the room door. He smacked himself on the back of his head over and over again. "Fuck!"

He screamed out, nearly making himself see black. And just as he was about to bite the bullet and open his door he hears a loud laugh... Deep, controlled. It belonged to M.

Immediately, Frank pressed his face against the cold door, smashing his ear against it so that he could hear everything. 

"I don't think he's gonna' do it... He's been in there for an hour already. He could be telling that whore our plan. I don't trust that child-fucker." Synyster's voice.

M says nothing and now all Frank can hear is a key jingling and then a door opening.

Fuck.

* * *

"Kill you?" Eddie asked, stilling inside of the younger man and rests his hands against his waist. "You think I'm trying to kill you?"

Gerard whimpered, nodding his head. His eyes were still closed, tears leaking down the corners of his eyes and onto the pillow beneath him. 

"Why?"

Gerard sobbed, shaking his head. He didn't want to answer that question. It was heart breaking.

"Gerard... Look at me." Eddie said sternly, pulling out of his step son completely.

Gerard choked out a cry as Eddie touched his cheek. He squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. He didn't want to look... If it's true... If Eddie's going to kill me... He didn't want to see the look in his eyes. He wanted to die with the memory. A good memory. A sham. He didn't want this fucked up reality to be his last breath.

A long minute of nothing passes and Eddie shifts until he's settled in between Gerard's legs. He lies on top of the younger man and presses his hands on either side of his head.

"I could... We both could. We could kill ourselves... Together."

Gerard's eyes open to that declaration. He wasn't fucking serious... Was he?

"No." Gerard cried, moving his hands to the back of Eddie's head. "Get off of me, Ed. Get off."

Eddie grounds himself onto Gerard and shakes his head. "We have no choice. You have to listen to me. We're both fucking dead anyway... I lose everything. I lose your mom. I lose Mikey. I fucking lose you. I can't win."

Gerard's using all his strength to get Eddie off of him, but it's futile. He's too weak.

"N-no. Get off! Get the fuck off!"

Gerard's aware that he's panicking now. He was losing his mind. He just couldn't believe what the hell was happening. He should have never called Eddie. He was so fucking stupid.

All he could think was: poor Frankie. Poor Frank Iero. He could still make things right though. He could still get out of this place alive... With Frank. They could still live their lives together.

No, Gerard thought. He was too late.

"I'm not gonna' let M hurt you, Gerard. Just stop fucking squirming around and et me make love to you one last time."

"No. No. No!"

Gerard screamed and suddenly the sound of the front door being pushed open and M's voice following after echoes around the motel room. 

"Well, lookey here..." M said, dropping his keys on the nightstand. "Like father, like son."

Gerard froze under Eddie's weight. He was no longer squirming or begging for the man to get off of him. His heart was racing and his eyes were wide. He must've looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Eddie shifts and sits up, still in between Gerard's legs and looks over his shoulder.

"You were supposed to let me finish, M. Do we look done?"

Gerard brings hims arms around himself as he looks between both men... And Synyster. He was grinning from ear to ear. He looked like he had gotten his revenge.

"W-what's going on?" Gerard managed to ask and M focused on him.

"Doll face... Hey, long time no see.my brother told me everything. How you didn't betray me. Well, you kind of did by running off with Iero Jr. Stupid move." M was standing over him now by he side of the bed.

"I had no choice. You didn't believe me." Gerard's voice trembled as M reached down to touch his cheek. It was wet. Gerard hadn't realized he had started crying.

"Baby..." M cooed. "You know the rules. You're my whore. You belong to me... When you ran away with Iero... He basically stole from me. You're my fucking property."

Eddie climbed out of bed, stretching his arms above his head.

"Do whatever you have to do. Just get it over with. I have to be home before sunrise."

Gerard's bottom lip quivered as the words left Eddie's mouth.

Was he serious?

"Get what over with?" He asked, looking into M's eyes. "Are you going to kill me?"

M smiled weakly at him and tipped his head to the side.

"Maybe... You have to do something for me first... If you wanna' live that is."

Gerard didn't like the sound of that and neither did Synyster.

"M! We have him right fucking here! Just kill the fucking bitch!" Synyster shouting as he waved his gun in the air. 

M was still looking at Gerard as he pulled his gun from his pants and pointed it at Synyster. He pulled the trigger and the silencer protects their confrontation.

Synyster dropped dead.

Gerard jolted up and covered his mouth with his hands. He screamed behind his palms and looked at Synyster's lifeless body as it crashed to the motel floor.

"He really fucking hated your guts." M said nonchalantly, stuffing his gun back into his pants.

Gerard was too focused on Synyster's dead body and Eddie was too. He backed away, towards the kitchen and stood against the counter. He laid his hands flat against the surface and adverted his eyes to Gerard's.

They shared a look and Eddie looked afraid. He didn't expect it to go this far. He only wanted to play M. He didn't want anyone to die.

"Anyway..." M started, sighing. "You gotta tell me where Frank is. I can't just let him get away with this. He's lucky I can't kill his fucking parents because there's a fucking truce, but he's nobody... We can get rid of him together."

Gerard couldn't stop staring at Synyster. He couldn't believe M just killed him... Like he was nothing.

"Doll face." M snapped, causing Gerard's eyes to quickly fall on him. "Look at me. Where's Frank?"

"I... I don't know." He lied, looking M dead in his eyes.

"Gerard... Don't fucking lie to me."

"I don't know, M. I don't know."

"Gerard."

M pulled out his gun again. This time he aimed it at Eddie.

"I'm gonna' count to five. When I'm finished you better have told me where Frank is or else I'm killing your daddy-fuck buddy."

Gerard pleaded with his eyes and M buried his hand in his hair and tugged. 

"One..."

"M... I don't know. I don't--"

"Two."

Gerard couldn't see straight. His vision was distorted and M's voice sounded like he was hearing it from under water.

His eyes were burning. The tears wouldn't stop coming. Everything hurt. He was about to lose everything.

"I don't fucking know, M. I don't!"

"Three."

The front door is kicked open and there stands Frank, gun in hand and his face as white as a ghost.

"I'm right here, motherfucker." He pointed his pistol forward, in M's direction, and squeezed the trigger.

With a momentary look of shock and defeat, M dropped dead soon after.

Gerard's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He gasped as the gun shot blasted his ear drums. M didn't even have a chance to act. He crashed onto the end of the bed, landing on Gerard's feet. Blood sprayed his pale legs and Gerard wanted to cry from shock.

"We gotta go." Eddie said loudly, pulling Gerard out of bed. "Get dressed. Come on."

Gerard barely could. In shock he dressed himself, still staring at Synyster and M's corpses. When he was done he allowed Frank to take his hand and drag him out of the room and back to theirs.

Eddie is behind them, wiping his hand down his face and cursing under his breath.

They entered the room and Frank locked it behind them.

"We have to pack. We have to get the fuck out of here." He said urgently and Gerard was ahead of him, packing all their stuff.

"You didn't use your own info to check in here, did you?"

"An alias. You?" Frank asked, zipping up his luggage after stuffing all of his belongings inside of it.

Gerard was finished too.

"Alias as well. You two ready? We have to get the fuck out of here before the cops come. When they see Synyster and M hopefully they conclude that they pulled their guns on each other."

Gerard glared at his step father and bit his bottom lip. He knew he should wait, but he needed to hear what the older man had to say.

"Were you going to let him kill me?" He asked breathlessly.

Eddie glanced at him and then looked down. He shook his head. He looked sincere.

"No... I just. I was buying time. I was going to get a knife from the kitchen. When I backed in... I didn't think he'd point a gun at me if he thought I was helping him, but what do you expect from a guy who killed his buddy?" Eddie said, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his coat.

Gerard was relieved.

"I think I... I understand." He said and Eddie looked at him, shocked. "I wouldn't want you to save me, Eddie... If it meant you would die. You need to live. You always need to live... For Mikey. Promise me you won't ever do anything like that ever again."

Gerard was stepping up to him now, grabbing his hands. They were so warm in his cold ones. 

Eddie nodded stiffly; his eyes wide and glassy. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Gerard frowned. "Promise me, Ed."

The older man sighed and glanced at Frank. He was waiting by the door. Ready to go.

"I promise."

Gerard smiled.

"Thank you."

Frank pulled open the room door and the wind rushed in, spinning around them, blowing through their hair. 

"Guys, we have to go. I can hear sirens."

They were far, but nearing.

Gerard pulled Eddie into a tight embrace and kissed him on his cheek. The older man melted against him and their bodies melded together.

"So long." Eddie whispered as they separated.

Gerard went to Frank and grabbed his hand. They rushed to their car and Eddie to his. Their engines start and it's like music to Gerard's ears... Like a hymn. 

They were free. Free from the shame. Free from the shackles. Free from the humiliation and the horror. They were free to be whoever they wanted to be

They were free to be together...

"I'm sorry about everything, Gerard. I'm sorry about putting you through all of this. I promised I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. I let you down."

Gerard shook his head, sitting forward in his seat. He took a deep breath and pushed his hand onto Frank's knee.

"No. I'm sorry. None of this is your fault... I was so blind. I just—I didn't think about your feelings. You don't have to apologize."

Frank looked at him quickly, smiling, before facing the road again. "Thanks."

Gerard smiled back. 

"No problem."

A moment of silent passes by before Frank speaks again.

"So what next? Where do we go from here?"

Gerard giggled loudly and leaned over and pecked Frank on his cheek.

"Take me anywhere."

Frank quirked a brow and smirked. "Anywhere?"

Gerard reclined into his seat, still giggling. He kicked his feet up and pushed his arms behind his head.

"Anywhere."

And that's where they went. Despite their past, despite their future... They were no longer going to live moral-less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End <3
> 
> ETA: Epilogue to come...


	26. Epilogue—Butterfly Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were close to their destination now... Close to their destiny. Frank can feel the butterflies in his stomach reproducing. 
> 
> Suddenly, his entire person felt like a butterfly sanctuary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAHHHHHHHH!!! Okay, it's finally here! I have nothing interesting to say except JUST READ! 
> 
> <3 xoxo
> 
> (Excuse the typos/half asleep here. I'll fix them when I can)

"Red... Or blue?" 

Gerard asked after a moment of thinking. He reclined in his seat and settled his hands against the back of his head. He had his window rolled down and the fresh air outside was allowing him to feel a little relaxed, along with this car game they've been playing for an hour to finally try and get to know each other a little better.

Gerard was surprised by how much they had in common. Shocked, actually. Here he thought that Frank was some prude asshole.

"1. 2... 3."

Gerard counted, meaning they needed to spill their answers at the same time on the count of 3.

"Red."

They both say together and Frank laughed. 

"Okay. I've got one..." Frank said, making a right turn out of the highway.

"Halloween or Christmas?"

Gerard giggled and licked his lip. He wanted to roll his eyes at that one, but he knew that would only give away his answer.

"1... 2... 3." Frank counted.

They both shout, "Halloween." And Frank almost looks relieved. Did he really expect Gerard to say Christmas? 

"Frank, really? Look at me."

And Frank did. He looked Gerard up and down once they were at a stop light. He smirked.

"What? I don't judge a book by it's fucking cover. You could have said fuckin' Valentine's Day. You never know."

Gerard tilted his head to the side and gave Frank a sideways glance.

"Valentine's Day? Really?"

Frank shrugged, chucking and made another right turn.

"Okay, I've got another one." Frank declared, mentally snapping his fingers once the little light bulb in his head switched on.

They were close to their destination now... Close to their destiny. Frank can feel the butterflies in his stomach reproducing. 

Suddenly, his entire person felt like a butterfly sanctuary.

"Books or comics?"

Gerard gasped at that one. It was good, but he already knew what he was going to say. It wasn't rocket science.

"Ready?" Frank asked, preparing himself to count.

Once Gerard nodded he began.

"1... 2... 3!"

"Comics!"

"Books."

Frank laughed again, louder this time. He knew Gerard was going to pick comics. He was such a fucking nerd.

"Well, well, well... Seems like we broke the chain here. Wanna' keep going?" Frank drove into the lobby of the hotel they'll be spending a few weeks in.

They both needed it... After spending a few nights in the car. Their backs probably hated them and their legs most likely wanted to commit suicide.

Gerard looked out the window with a smile on his face as he shook his head. 

"Maybe later."

Frank smiled too, unbuckling his seat belt and pushed open his door. He needed to stretch his damn legs and take a warm bath. 

He tossed his keys to the valet and then slapped a fifty dollar bill into his hand.

"Keep the change."

Entering the foyer of the hotel, Gerard gawks as he looks around with cartoonish eyes. Everything was so beautiful and grand. He knew they were going to be staying some place nice since Frank had the money, but he never imagined this!

What the hell was this? Pretty Woman?

"Like it?" Frank asked, flinging his arm around Gerard's shoulder.

He nodded his head without a word. He was too stunned to say anything. What the fell was their room going to look like? 

He hoped it was as nice as the damn foyer.

"I'll take that as a yes." Frank chuckled under his breath, pulling his arm away slowly from around Gerard's narrow shoulders. "I'll be right back. Wait here. I'm gonna' check us in."

Gerard nodded again. His mouth still open agape as he continued to examine and admire the pretty hotel.

* * *

Warm... Steam everywhere. So much steam he could feel his pores opening up. His legs were spread apart with his arms on the rim of the tub and his head was tipped back.

Morrissey: To Me You Are A Work of Art, playing in the background. 

This was his haven. He was in heaven.

No more running, no more hiding. He didn't have to pretend to be happy anymore. At last... He was.

"Gerard! I'm coming in!" Frank hollered from behind the door. 

He sounded so nice mixed in with Morrissey's voice. He wanted him to keep talking. Even over the music. It made it so much more relaxing.

Gerard made a noise that meant Frank's entrance has been approved and immediately the man is entering. He's got a robe on and his grown out hair is slicked back.

"Make room." Frank smirked, sticking his foot in the water, between Gerard's spread legs.

Gerard scooted to the opposite end of the spa tub and slightly closed his legs. He watched Frank toss the robe on the ground, shedding it first, like a snake sliding out of its old skin.

Frank plopped into the water, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. 

"Wow... This water is scorching."

Gerard closed his eyes and shifted until his legs were apart. He nodded with a loud sigh.

"I love hot baths. It's so soothing."

Frank chuckled and looked into the water. Gerard's skin was glistening. He wanted to palm his thighs and spread them even further apart.

"Yeah..." Frank whispered, moving his hand on Gerard's knee. He wasn't so bony anymore. He was filling out his body nicely. He even had a belly now and it made Frank smile.

"Remember..." Frank started and it caused Gerard to open his eyes. "When I first told you I loved you?"

Gerard shifted until he was no longer lying low. He looked into Frank's eyes and stared. Hardly blinking.

"Yeah."

How could he forget? 

"I asked you if you loved me."

Frank nodded. 

"Yeah... Can you do that again?"

Gerard giggled under his breath and averts his eyes to the small ripples in the water. 

"Do you love me, Frank?" He couldn't hide the laughter in his voice. Frank splashed him laughing as well.

"So fucking much. I love you more than anything—anyone... And one of these days I'm going to marry you."

Gerard stared into Frank's eyes. The atmosphere is heavy now. He's no longer giggling... Until...

"Does that mean we're dating?" Gerard asked, wide eyed and smiling. 

They never properly initiated anything. Not that they were the type to do that, but Gerard wanted to hear it from Frank.

"Of course. What else would it mean? You're my boyfriend and I'm yours... If that's okay with you."

Smiling, Gerard stood up. The water fell from his body like it was raining and he stuck his hand out to Frank. 

"C'mere..." He whispered.

Frank stared up at him, smiling coyly, and nodded his head. He stuck his hand out and Gerard pulled him up.

What did Gerard have planned?

* * *

In bed, Gerard lies down, on his back with his arms resting by his sides. He's lifting his legs, firmly planting them on the mattress. 

Frank watched, standing in front of him. He knew what Gerard wanted. He knew it was right to oblige this time. No one was in there way. Nothing could stop them from expressing everything they wanted to express.

This is exactly what Frank wanted, too. 

"What?" Gerard asked, giggling. "Surprised?"

Frank smiled bashfully and shook his head. He wasn't surprised. He really wasn't.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Gerard pushed himself up with his elbows and spreads his legs apart. 

Whatever bruises he had in the past are finally fading away. There weren't any new ones and there wouldn't be. He could finally heal completely.

Frank got on the edge of the bed, knees first, and then crawled up until he was firmly settled in between the pale mans thighs.

They were still wet from the bath, but Frank can see that Gerard was quickly drying up from being in bed. The thick, fluffy sheets were soaking up the water.

Frank lowered himself, until he and Gerard were nose to nose. They both blinked at one another like deers caught in headlights. Frank dipped lower, breathing—inhaling Gerard's scent. He felt blinded, like smell, taste and touch would be his eyes from now on.

"This is kind of nice..." Gerard whispered when Frank buried his face in the crook of his neck. "You're not even hard yet... Most guys would be rushing to get inside of me by this point. You're not like that... Are you?"

Frank laughed under his breath. This was true. Frank wasn't like that. He never was and he never will be.

He was passionate. He always will be.

"I kinda thought we already established that?"

Gerard nodded slowly. He knows... He's just still shocked. Frank was literally everything he loved in a man. He was nothing like M. He was nothing like Eddie. He was nothing like all those other guys. He was better. He was perfect.

"I just still can't believe you belong to me..." Gerard trailed off. He can feel Frank getting hard now. He smiled. 

"Yeah? Need me to pinch you?" Frank lifted himself up a bit and stared down at Gerard with a playful smirk on his face.

"No... Wouldn't want to wake up from this if it really is a dream." Gerard said quietly with a small smile tugging at his lips.

Frank's entire face softens and his brows furrow. He's blushing all over and his mouth is being invaded by the most sincere smile Gerard has ever seen.

"I love you, Gerard... I really fucking do." He leaned over and planted a kiss on the mans lips. 

Gerard kisses him back, murmuring an 'I love you too' against his lips. 

Their gentle kisses progress to sloppy kisses and grinding desperately against one another. Moans escape their mouths as they breathe harshly through their nose. Frank breaks the kiss to catch his breath.

"You're beautiful, baby." Frank whispered breathlessly. 

The way Gerard's face looked left him in awe. Everything about this moment was making his skin tingle.

"Not as beautiful as you." Gerard said quietly and lifted his head to plant a kiss on his boyfriend's lips. 

The kiss quickly escalates to making out again and Gerard's letting his hand go straight to Frank's cock. He starts to jerk him off slowly and Frank's entire body heats up and his breath gets caught in his throat. 

"S'ahhh, f-fuck. Stop, baby. Stop..." Frank pushed Gerard's hand aside gently. "I wanna' fuck you."

Gerard smiled and brought his arms around Frank's narrow shoulders. He nodded his head and took a deep breath. 

Moistening his fingers with the lube packet that had been on the night stand, Frank pushes himself down Gerard's body and lifts his legs up on his shoulders. Gerard's fingers entangle themselves in his hair and Frank grimaces a little bit—a good grimace. He liked it when the other man pulled his hair. It was oddly comforting.

"Mmm'ah!" Gerard whimpered as Frank wrapped his lips around his cock. 

The tight heat and suction was too much for him. His eyes were shut tightly and his mouth was slack and wide with these small, whiny moans rolling off his tongue obscenely. Frank's drilling his fingers in and out Gerard as he bobbed his head up and down his cock. He really wanted Gerard to enjoy this and get into it as much as him and he was glad to see that he was. 

"Oh... Oh god, F-Frankie. Baby... I'm gonna' c-cum. You're on my spot." Gerard tensed up and clenched around Frank's digits.

Before Gerard could spill his seed, Frank pulls his mouth off his cock and his fingers out of his ass and gets up, positioning himself in between the pale mans legs. His cock is twitching, nudging at Gerard's throbbing hole. 

He has to double-take at it because it's so goddamn hot. He could cum from that sight alone, but there was better things in store from them so he knew he could contain himself.

"Ready?" Frank asked and Gerard nodded quickly, biting down on his bottom lip.

Frank pushed in. He did it with ease and he watched Gerard's expression the whole time. He loved the way his brows furrowed and the way his mouth dropped. His eyes were glassy and narrow. Frank loved the sounds he was making, too. He sounded so sexy.

"S-so tight, G... So fucking tight, baby." Frank grunted as he gripped onto Gerard's pudgy hips. He brought his hips back and then forward again.

Gerard moaned out and brought his arm over his face as he used his other hand to grip his cock. Frank wasn't even on his spot yet and he was already feeling like he would cum any second now... Was it because it wasn't even about getting off?

"I'm so close. I'm so fucking close." Gerard gasped, sobbing out as he tightened his grip on his cock.

He didn't want to cum so soon. He wanted it to last.

"Cum... Cum, baby. Cum for me." Frank urged him, thrusting his cock in and out deeply.

He must have struck Gerard's prostate because the man arched his spine off the bed after he dropped his arm away from his face and entangled his fingers in the bed sheets. His entire body went rigid and his mouth dropped like he was about to start screaming. 

He bucked his hips against Frank's cock and whined out, crying his orgasm out like he was singing a dirty song.

He kept his hips still; his cock pressed tightly and deeply against Gerard's prostate. Frank watched in amazement as Gerard kept himself down on Frank's cock. It was so mesmerizing. The entire sight was breathtaking.

"Ffffffuccccckkkk!" Gerard screamed; his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he snapped his hips against Frank one last time.

He collapsed on the bed, arm slung over his face again, panting and sweating. He'd cum so hard it nearly made him black out. He couldn't even feel Frank shifting on top of him.

Frank watched Gerard for a moment. His chest was heaving and his breathing was loud and shallow. 

"Wow... That was fucking hot." Frank mused aloud with a chuckle.

Gerard licked his lips and brought his other hand away from his softening cock. He ran his fingers over his own chest and planted it right above his heart. 

Frank leaned forward, still buried deeply inside of the other man, and kissed him on his chin.

"I won't be long. I'm close." Frank said as he started to work himself in and out of Gerard.

This time he's going for it. Hard and fast. His hands are nearly imbedded on Gerard's hips. He can see his fingerprints on the delicate, pale skin there every time he rearranges his fingers. He's breathing harshly through his mouth, looking over Gerard postcoital state. It was just as hot as the act... Frank couldn't believe someone was able to turn him on so much.

"Fuck. Fuck... Fuck." Frank gasped out as he gave one last, hard thrust.

Gerard released a content sigh and contracted himself around Frank to bring him to his orgasm. It worked because Frank let loose. He came and collapsed on top of Gerard.

Gerard swallowed the lump in his throat. He could feel Frank's heart beat on his own. As much as Gerard wanted to bask with his lover in the aftermath glow he had too much on his mind.

"Frankie..." Gerard started, running his fingers up and down Frank's sweaty back. "D'you think... We're safe?"

Frank pushed himself off of Gerard, slowly, and looked him in his eyes. 

"Yeah. I mean, there's no way they could link that to us... M was wanted anyway. It just looks like a drug deal gone wrong." Frank reassured him.

Gerard smiled weakly at Frank and sighed in relief.

"Yeah, I guess you're right... I've just been having these weird dream, y'know?" Gerard rolled onto his side as Frank pulled out of him and fell back on the opposite side of the bed.

"Weird dreams?" Frank asked, looking up at the hotel room ceiling.

"Yeah..." Gerard whispered, running his fingers through his own hair. "It's almost like... I don't know, like someone's choking me. I can't breathe—I can't... I can't scream."

Frank turned his head and looked at Gerard. He watched his the man play with his hair.

"It's just a dream. I promise I won't let anything bad happen to you. Not as long as we're together... Which is going to be until the day we die. Okay?" Frank pulled Gerard against his chest.

Gerard relaxed against Frank's embrace and nodded his head. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"I love you..." Frank whispered against Gerard's ear.

Gerard closed his eyes and rested his head on Frank's chest. He listened to his heart beat and felt the rise and fall of his torso. Everything felt like a dream to him. It was all too good to be true. 

He had his happy ending... 

"I love you too." He whispered back, smiling. 

It felt like it was the first time he's ever truly smiled in his entire life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's actually over. 100% 
> 
> I kinda teared up—not gonna' lie. I'm so sad to see this over, but I'm also super happy because I never ever thought I'd finish it *fist pump*
> 
> Thanks so much much to everyone who read/commented. You really made this enjoyable for me to write <3 love you all so much 
> 
> Xoxo


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